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THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
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Tin! student uiionto supper at the Commercial under
the imurcssion that he was getting a square meal for a
quarter, but who on settling his bill was charged $1.00,
jumped up from the table and remarked Imhoff."
The following arc tho names of those on tho Palladian
June class: Clem. Chase, oration: Joslc Chapman
essay; Anna Saunders, eulogy; Frank Wood, essay;
Alice Tultle, recitation; Brown and Mockctt, debate.
Realizing the fact that the graduating class is quite
large this year, our worthy janitor, Breech, is making ex
tra off rt for flowers this spring. Ho informs us that a
proffcssional gardner hnsgeen procured to do the work.
A new student was asked bv a o-cd much in society
work, il he was a Union, or Palladian. After stammer
ing awhile, then swallowing down a largo accumulacd
gulp of timidity, he said, "'I'm neither one, I'm a Piep."
The young ones German examination at tho close of last
term was held in the chaplo. So much brimstone was evol
veil that there will probably bo no more Chapel execiscs
tliis year unless a better system of ventilation bo secured.
The rumor that a professor of Cheek is about to be ap
pointed is without foundation. The Regcnls at their last
meeting looked into thomnttcr and decided that no teach
er could instruct the fiistcst of Preps in the most abstrnce,
cheekian theories.
Wo always know that University girls were popular.
As a proof of this we cite the following: Miss Rosa Vin.
cent, who has been in attendance at tho University fur the
past year, was married on the 24th ult. to Mr. S. T. Rob
erts of Arrapahoe.
In tho last Student our colleague informed the world
that spring had come. We are sorry to contrail ict a friend,
but wc must say that ho adulterated the truth n wee bit
too much. Spring come indeed. Why last Sunday wo
found it rather cold I
We fell like emphasising a remark made by the Associute
Editor an issue or two back. All students who ieel any
interest in the College paper should have enough Univer
sity spirit to purchase their supplies from those Mer
chants and Tradesmen who advertise in our paper.
A terrible rumor reached the Sanctum the other day to
the effect that all of the Freshman girla were intending to
get married shortly. Only think of il ; none of the edit
ors have made a break as yet, and they have not waited
for us. In the language of Dickens; "It is too bad."
An ingenious junior has invented a system of cons
vcrsation for the library, lie lias a card with all the or
dinary couveisations printed upon it and another with
answers. When be wants to know any thing, ho points to
his questions and hands his friend tho answer card. We
understand it works to a charm.
On Sunday last, the Janitor informs us that some of
tho students made a raid on the chapel and succeeded in
carrying off tho pulpit. Tho Janitor found it after much
labor in tho Gallery the next morning. Tho Fresh ies are
unanimiiB in laying it upon the Sophs but they deny the
imputation and refer it to the preps.
Tho Student ofllco is now open to all University loaf
ers, and the compositor extends a general invitation to all
those wishing a pleasant place to loaf. Ho hns ample
ttmo to entertain as many as can possibly call lu. Come
early and stay all day. You can't concolvo ot the un
bounded comfort your pleasant visits bcutow.
Perhaps one of the most difllcult foals of grafting ever
accomplished was related to us a few weeks ago. A far
mer in Indiana, by grafting the buds of a sour anplo trco
witli sweet appic buds, produced an apple which had
four quarters, two being green and sweet, and two red
and sour. Tho quarters were, perfectly divided. This is
vouched for by good authority.
John Mockctt and Paul Clark, whilo out duck hunt
ing a few days ago, captured a most remarkable specie of
the feathered creation, remotely allied to the duck family,
yet this is not fully determined. Those desiring to see
this curious bird, which tho boys, from scientific facts,
have given a polysyllabic appellation longer than a Dutch
examination, will bo accommodated any time they will
take tiio trouble to stop into Mockctt's museum.
A Prep, who had just finished answering tho last ques
tion in the Latin examination, was so elated over his suc
cess that immedhtoly on reaching the hall he began to
give vent to his o'er flowing soul by singing in a loud,
clear, unmistakable lone, the L. M. doxology. His mellK
fluous swells had not been reverberating through tho halls
very long, however, till four or five infuriated Profs, were
diligently seeking this inspired chanter, and ho was com
pelled to take his leave.
"Now it is just this way, if I was sure that" just
t lie ti his enormous appendages came in contact with a
cruel orange peel, his equilibrium was lost, and his cor
porosity unceremoniously sought an argillaceous repose,
adjacent the pavement. What he meant to say will prob.
ably be foreyer with the innumerable unknown; the utter
ance was abruptly left uutlushod and as yet he has not
sufllcicntlv recovered from the effects of the sudden tran
sition to recall where ho left off.
The Y. M. C. A. of tho university, is growing in num
bers and interest. Seven active and six associate mem
bers joined during the winter term- The following
officers are elected for the next term: Piesidenl, B. W
Marsh; Vice-president, Mary Compbell; Secretary, C. S
Polk, Corresponding secretary, E. Fulmer; Treasurer,
Anna Aldrich. Prayer meetings in room No. 5, every
WednoKlay evening, at 7;15. Bible class, taught by Prof
Hitchcock, in Chancellor's office, every Sunday morning
at 9;80. All are invited to attend.
One day during vacation one of our brightest literary
lights thought that he would celebrate tho holidays by go
ing hunting. In tho morning he started bravely out towards
the salt basin and was lost to sight. About 7 O'clock in
the evening a couple of students found him sealed in the
middle of one of the marshcB, searching for the bottom
of the mud with his borrowed gun. They succeeded in
getting him out on dry ground: but he has not yet suc
ceeded in getting the mud off his clothes or out of the gun
barrel.
A student of the genus green had an engagement with
a lady one evening last term. At the oppointed limo ho
went to her boarding place. She as not there but think,
ing that she would soon bo in, engaged in chat with her
room mate. An hour or more elapsed when upon enquir
ing as to the whereabouts of tho young lauy, he found
that she had moved. The face of the youth was acurloslly.
Cold chills ran up and down his convulsive frame and in
a husky whisper ho said "I guess I had better go." Wo
understand that he has left school.
