E22323
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
Tlio Lnboratory had its first explosion on tho flrot Inst.
A little scuro in Iho halls about tho amoko was tho only
result. Later Since writing the above wo luurn that tho
explosion was not in the Laboratory, but Prof. Aughby
was tosting somo (Augh)il when it exploded.
What unfeeling clodo of humanity some of our students
arc! Tho other evening a sleigh load of them drovo up
to the house of one of our young ludy students and sung
"Oome to tho Window," otc. She begun to toll them to
wait a minute and she would be there, when oil thoy
drove!
The three Olarks, viz: Paul, Don and his brother
George, procured a dashing littio cutter a short time ago
and skipped out to tho penitentiary and the insane asy.
him. Paul says thoy have very cosy rooms out there, and
if a little closer to tho Univorsit', ho would endeavor to
rent one.
Wo have a few brilliant legislators in tho house this
term. Onoof them tho othot day offered a resolution that
ten cents ho charged per head for admittance to tho
lobby, the proceeds to go toward paying tlm hotol bills of
defeated candidates for the senutorship. The wonder was
that it was ruled out of order.
A Freshio describes his co-ed ns like unto a mighty
magnet. IIo says when he attempts to stop out for u
tniftof fresh air, or to go to the P. O., ho loses on tiro con
trol of himself and must yield to ibis poworful magnetic
inllueiiec, often limes being drawn several blocks nway
from home, and returning only with the most sorious dlf
Acuities. The average Junior is irresponsible. Tho other Sun
day one of this genus, together with a Soph, ntlouded.
church. The contribution box soon found them out. As
the Soph was dutifully pulling out his pocket book, the
Junior checked him with the remark, "I wouldn't patron
ise ilioso tilings; thoy don't pay a good dividend.1
We would like to kindly suggest to the nmuy defeated
would-be U. S. senators who had their little piece all
written out and learned by heart in case (he burdensome
honor was thrust upon them that they preserve them. They
Imve spent no little time in their preparation, and, possi.
bly in tlm near future, by making a few slight changes in
their conduction, they will just answer the purpose.
Freshman physiology class. Professor: '-What is a ro
nmrknblo difference in the respiratory movements of man
and woman ?" Froshio (promptly) : "Tho astounding dis
similarity is this: In man, the principul organ called into
aciun during respiration is the diaphragm; while in wo
mini, tho ribs are the chief agents during tho respiratory
movement." Professor (smiling): "Wo infer from this,
then, tho reuse n of woman's being made from ft (sparejrib."
The vast army of lobbyists who have been with us dur
ing the great senatorial christening (of bleared memory),
putrioticly sharing our burdens and boarding house hash,
have folded their robes about them and noiselessly stolen
) to tho bosoms of their neglected families. Since
Uieir departure business at the hotels has taken n tumble
down ;.ie financial gamut like tho price of linen breeches
m January. But, alaal thoy have not gone to stay. On
the n -assembling oHho legislature thoy will again bc'i up
serenely thicker than frogs on tho classic hunks of tho
nvor Nile.
A few week ago when tho mercury was trjiug to find
the hack door of the thermometer and had got down to
25 o below, a Freshman dreamed that he was tho North
Pole and thut James Gordon Bennett was trying to cut
him down. When ho awoko ho found that his room
mate had kicked him out of bed. Ho comes to school on
crutches now.
( Tlie other day in tho Physics class tho professor was
electrifying tho students by pnsslng a glass tube near their
races. All were shocked till ho came to a Soph. IIo
didn't fool it. The professor tried again. Not a fibre
moved. The professor gave him up, remarking, ''Young
man, you have an uncommonly ough face." "Oh," said
the Vph, "you were passing the tube over my cheek!"
Tho other day ono of the brightest ol our college lumin
aries went out walking and (wonderful lo re late 0 gravi
tated at the house of one of tho co ods. IIo got to talk
ing, and becoming quite enraptured, in bin convolution,
forgot to take his leave. Tho co ed became tired, and
when 12:80 arrived, slio started up and said in tones of
affright: "E , didn't you hcai tho fire boll?" IIo
took tho hint and left at u 2:10 rate. N. 13. lie has not
been heard of since.
At Iho Hosperjan election on the 31st, tho following of
fleers wore chosen for the coming semester:
President J. II. Iloltnos.
Vice President W. F Bisboo.
Secretary E. 0. Levis.
Treasurer Charloa S. Alien.
Editors.in-Cliief Minnie E. Codding, A, G. Warner.
Literary Editor G. W. Botsrord.
Associate Literary Editor A. L. Frost.
Lijcnl Editors Will T. Muuck, E. J. Churchill.
Business Manager W. C. Knight.
No doubt the language would seem real harsh to not a
few students if the assertion were mude that some real
genuine pilfering is being carried on in our midst every
few days, and more to spare the culprits' feeliugs than to
spare the truth we will refrain from making the assertion,
This much must be said, however, that some person or
persons are continually "borrowing" our shoes, mittcnst
scarf, and, in fact, all such essential pieces of attire with
which the average student is generally blessed. Strange
lo say muno are so extremely indigent that they cutiicly
forget to return such properly. Others, win. are not en
tirely nddic'tcd to this pernicious habit, have a weakness
for trading, and in many instances when n trade is made,
one of the parties being absent, the exchange is verj un.
(qui table.
A short time ago a hot of tho younger sUulonts, ro
gardless of party lines, hold a sort of agricultural conclave
in ono of the basement rooms fcfr the purpose ot discuss.
lag the moans, conditions and oircumatancos most favor,
able to a healthy production of board. Wo arc not very
well informed as lo all the proceedings of tho meeting,
but judging from the numerous downy sideburns and
mustaches that have so recently sprung into existonce, wo
conclude that a solemn compact must have been entered
into, at the closo of tho mooting, that nil members of the
association should, between now and tho Ides of March,
strain every eflbrt to grow nu exuberant heard. The ma.
Jority . ill probable pull through if another blizzud don't
set in right away, 'hile nothing short f extremely ci re.
ful hoi-house nurture will save the insipid productions of
other!.