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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 20, 1883)
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
Tno following are tb delegates from the University
and Preparatory deportment who met last week to devise
ways and menus for the furlheranci of puns: Juniors, J.
H. Holmes; Sophs, the whole class; Freshmen, W. O.
Jones, W.T. Mauck; Prep , Paul Clark.
Quito a number of new students have entered Miss
Smith's class in "prop(p)osltion." They havo already
learned the definition of "sub," and intend to finish their
"sentence" of labor, alter being "subjecf'ed to both
'verb"al and written inquisition at the hands of the
Much to thy disappointment of all the regents failed to
have a quorum on the lOlli. A cold chapel and slim ex
ercises therein will be the indubitable result. With re.
spect to the chancellorship Dean Hitchcock fills the plncc
so well that wo have no cause to grumble that the regents
did not meet.
The Preps aro wrestling with the following essay sub.
jeets: Alchemy, History of the Basilic, Duke Alva, Dante,
Liunacus, The Vikings, Who are the Stalwarts? Inllucnco
of New England on National nistory, Influence of Vir
ginia on our Struggle for Independence, The Fist Mid
land Explorers of America.
The hcrdic man backed up near the Capitol slcp3 and
was making good use of his lungs, enjoining the lawmak
ers, aa they came flooding through the door, to "take the
herdic." A Soph, yes, it was n Soph this time, yelled out
as he slid down the banister knocking down a couple of
senators, "Why, are you through with it?"
How complete the human structure! What wisdom
and skill exhibited by the Divine Architect! The most
perfect, uniform, complicated piece of mechanism in ex
istence. In substantiation of these facts a "hopeful" in
the physiology class informed the profctsor "that the
spinal column was situated in the front part of the trunk."
A county superintendents' state convention was held in
Lincoln, January llih and 12llt. There was a good at
tendance, and many important subjects immediately per
taining to public schools were discussed. As this is the
season for grinding out laws, a few strong suggestions
were made, which, it is hoped, will rcceiye the careful
consideration of the present law-makers.
John Drydcu, the acknowledged humorist of the Uni.
vcrsitj', has left tchool for the rest of the year to keep
books for a banking house in Central City. John has the
best wishes and benign blessings ol the Student coutin
ually with him, which cannot fail to bring him fcuccess.
The two most serious fevers that threaten the health of
the students nre poetry and short-hand. We are pained
to stale that both are raging in quite a considerable de
gree. The poetry fever is much worse than usual. Few
recover from the first attack. The following is a speci
men symptom of one in a chronic state:
My furtive muse cannot refuse
To gush in lyric strain :
From it my heart will ne'er depart
H or more Jrom it refrain.
At last the appointments of officers in the legislature
arc over, and the students who have been on the uuxious
seat for some live waiting for political lightning, in the
shape of clerkships, to strike them, arc cither happy in
their positions or settled down to disappointment aud
On the evening of January Gilt the societies held a joint
reception in their halls. Notwithstanding tho cold weath
er tilts students were out en masst. Tho halls rang with
merry laughter until tho closing time.
"Scliachtel, box: hut, hat; hul-schactel, bandbox. Su
san B.Anllioiy 1st cin hul-schachtol, consequently, a
woman suffrage meeting is a meeting of old bandboxes."
It is gnucrally conceded that Miss Susan B. Anthony iscn
tirely insensible to ridicule aud derision, but wo havo
reason to believe if she had heard the above compliment,
bestowed by our German professor, a few days ago, she
certainly would have waxed exceedingly wrath.
Whit is This funny lliir.g? Is it A dia-mond ? No al
Though it is very Hard it is Not a dia-mond. Is it dust?
No Although il is very Dry il is pot Dust. Is it a jun ior's
Bump of self-es-teem? No although it Is sur-pris ing-ly
largo It is not A jun-ior's bump of Sclf-es-tecm. Is il The
o-ceau? No it is not The ocean though it is very Deep.
What Can il be? It is An es-say sub-jeel Jusl given to
Mrs. Dearborno's reading before the Palladiau society,
Friday evening, January 12th, was certainly as fine as
was ever given in the University. The reading consisted
of extracts from Fridlbjof's Snga, as translated by Prof.
Sherman, of our University. Tho story has a siriking in
terest pervading it throughout, and when rendered by
one possessing the elocutionary accomplishments as those
possessed by Mrs. Dcarboruc. is capable of exciting a
deep feeling aud atlcntiveness in any audience.
The following is an extract from the speech delivered
by John Johnson, a colored man, whom the Third house
saw fit to choose to tho honorable position of United
States Senator, last Monday night: "The grand old Re
publican party has allowed the fierce American Eaglo to
pounce upon tho iron cage of oppression, and with a
Yankee Doodle scream unbarred the doors allowing four
and one-half millions of black canaries to flee from tho
fclters of imprisonment and soar away to the balmly
shore of freedom!"
Another martyr to science has taken his flight to the
stars. Wo arc sorry to announce that our late compositor,
in his ignorance of the peculiar "elevating" qualities of
the benzine kept in stock in the office, kindled the fire
with that great illuminator of darkness aud disseminator
of material things, some time ago, and has not "been
seen" since. His obituary will appear in a dark corner
of this journal, and his many virtues embalmed in hex
hyperbolic verse when enough of him can be gathered
lo constitute a working majority.
One of these slippery mornings within a very near ap
proach to truth 18,000,000 people die annually yc local
was placidly wending his way lo tho University when
the longest muscle of the body is the Snrtorious which
extends from the anterior superior spinoris process of the
Ileum to the Ybia-hc came to a smooth piece of ice on
the sidewalk oppressive breathing may bo relieved by
, taking three or four grains of pulo cubebs he surveyed
it calmly for a moment of 100 children nursed by their
mothers 18.2 die during the first year then advanced his
right foot and If you are so unfortunate as to cut au
artery arrest the hemmorhage by compression like a
general going to battle The human family inhabiting
the earth is 1,000,000,000. Set down !
' " "
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