a
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
jjfampus $mt;tnte.
The "Eu''clld club.
Car ry H-h-r-r-m a I
Tho best thing on Record the cigars.
Tho Intcst thing on Footc a barked nose.
"And you too, Sheldon." Baby Sliocmaker.
"What's the matter with your hard, Marshall?"
Motto of the IlaJlowo'enors: "The stump or the pump.'1
The Ath. Ass. is developing two knock-downs and one
sanguinary noso up to dale.
Tho Cadels during tho co.d snap began to sympathise
with Washington's troops in Valley Forge.
Prof, asks a Freshmen what oignnsof sense are located
in the nose. Fresh :"Orgaus of peiceplion."
"Our Boy", A. W. Fiold, ran 'way "ever so far" ahead of
his ticket, being cleclcd by the vole polled for aiy candi.
date.
Our genial friend, 0. V. Cole, does the city lor the Dan-
tocrat what time he can spare from his adolescent mus
Itachc.
We have an albino in tho University. Ho Is Al (I)
White, but his moustache; this also is White when the
Jenow Hies.
We have heard of long Gorman words but never fully
realized what they were till we saw those of Prof. Foslei's
manufacture.
It is a pretty difficult task foroim to possess a devotional
spirit during chapel exercise.-, with the temperature oflhc
room a l HO degres below zero.
Elcition in Lincoln was attended with more than usual
enthusiasm. Divisions in party lines and woni-.n clec.
tioneers perhaps explain Hie maltcr.
lie was a first year rep; the Hallovve'encrs demanded a
spiech; he began "Not Ibis evening' some r-r-rc a
faint gurgle and it was done. (Lowor class wils' N. B.)
Palladians uiocoulompiating repairs to their hull. The
subject lias been discussed at several nicotines and lite
plans are about matured. The expense will probably be
about S200
18
II
In the present cold snap the "chivalry" oflhc prep boys
tried to its utmost. To tote two loads of books five or
six blocks makes a fellow wish he were an Ami Suffragist
in jood cumest.
I Question by Physics Pi of: Describe a method of pro
I ducing cold artificially. Junior, who has been out late
Jiall.weve: Being put to bed in (lie Artesian well at
1 midnight is one way.
And occasionally some of our students wax eloquent:
"O, whut a brilliant ray of light the gentlemen would have
poured into tho benighted hearts of our Revolutionary
forefathers 1" Drydcn.
"The daisies on the College Farm are no more," said a
Senior prep, to his younger cousins. "Why." inouired
a Junior conditional. S. P: "Because there was never any
there." What a chance for the co-eds!
The dc bating clubs iu the University arc designed prin.
cipally for new students, those Hint have had little prac
tice at extempore speaking. Tliusll those should avail
themsclycs of these rare opportunities.
When a student keeps feeling of his muscle and tries to
knock down every ono dial's in his way, it is safe to con
elude that ho is a mt-mbcr of tho gymnasium.
And now comes tho time of classes iu Electrical Psy
chology. Don't let any one staro at you very long or you
will be under tho hands of sonio amateur mesmerists.
Owing to the resignation of Messrs. Botsford ami Dry
den there was a special meeting oflhc association on the
Oth which resulted in tho election of W. T. Mauck aud
Dell Stratton. The latter has sinco resigned.
When a mau kums to mo for advise, I find out tho kind
of advise ho wants, and I giv it to him; this satisfies him
that ho and me itro two az smart az there is livhr Josh
Billings. Josh has been talking to the Juniors.
Tho Agric. Literary Society commences the first Sat-'
evening after election. But, as its president resides bo
neath his paternal roof; aud as the old members arc sonio.
what dispersed, the first society will probably be rather
heterogeneous.
Owing to unavoidable circumstances no Student was
issued on the first of the month. This, however, will occa
sion no loss to our patrons astime will be extended accord,
ingly and if all will kindly forbear we will endeavor to bo
prompt in the future.
Morning after Hallow-ovc Prof: You may draw that
figure on the bo ml. Enterprisi g student: I can't draw
anything. Prot : Well I should think y u could a wagon
and put it on the steps. However, draw no inference from
what I say. e '. subsides.
The young ladies of second year German class were com
siderably mortified the other day when one of the young
men who had been appointed instructor for a short time
usked them obsequiously "Sind sic gcmalilen?" Tho
ladies smiled, then indignantly replied "no!"
The latest drive Soph, to innocent Frcshic: Now
I want to reason with you. We will go at it logically.
How much is two plus two. I. F.(with alacrity) "four,"
of course. Soph : Well that is very good, indeed, for a
Fresh. Laugh.
Several of the more pious of the Univorsity boys have
been heard to speak iu very commendable terms of tho
gate on the south side of the campus. It is not at all
strange that they should do so,' for of all gates, ancient or
modern this one removes the drapery.
A certain Freshman was heard to remark that he did
not purpose to he mail carrier for the entire University.
Certrinly not; it is not right. Those that have considera
hie maii matter to dispose of should take this timely hint
and impose a portion of their work on others.
And now tho Union society orgauizes a debating club.
The officers will hold their positions for one month only
aud thus eaclt one has a chance to become nrquniuted
with the work of the several offices. For November the
officers are Pros., II. T. Conley ; Vice Pros., J. M. Deweeco,
Sec, O. M. Quackeubush., Critic, Mr. Sullivan; Sergeant
at arms., E. F. Peck.
Wc hear from souices that can scarcely be doubted that
Dryden and Warner have sworn a mighty swear aud by a
mutual compact scaled it, not to engage themselves matri.
monially till woman suffrage prevails. Wc can't believe
it and in the name of tho "unrepresented" and anxious co.
cd population of the University cull upon these gentlemen
to clear themselves.
"TO
