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T II 13 II E S P E H I A N H T U D E N T.
Those whoso duties compel them to
spi mi miu'li of their time on the third
lioor would liko to know whon the roof
in to he repaired. It is :i disgrace to the
Slate of Nebraska in its present condi
tion. A certain member or tho Froshtnan class
has his name stamped on tho outsidu of
hit collars in plain view of all. This is
an excellent scheme. Why not all adopt it
anil thus do nwtiy with the necessity of
introductions?
Will wonders never coaso? The class
in Physiology actually induced the pro
fessor to hear recitations in that study live
times a week, instead of four! The Fresh
men are becoming too good for this
wicked world.
At Wisconsin University a bull was
recently givon by the young ladies, and
it wiis actually hold in the chapol of their
boarding ball I Should an affair ot this
kind occur here well, no matter. There
Is no danger of such a thing.
The rumor that tho Elective Course of
study was devised and put through by the
booksellers of Li: coin, lacks conllrma
iition. They are well pleased with the
arrangement, though, as their sales of
textbooks to students have doubled in the
lust year.
A suggest Urn to tho Faculty wo charge
nothing for It: To punish oll'enders, con
tine thorn somewhere near the hand room
whilo tho hoys are rehearsing the " Sweet
Hye and Bye." This treatment is warran
ted to subdue the hardest criminal in a
tew hours.
He camo i.i with a copy of tho Stuoh.nt
in his bund and remarked, "Tho puns in
this paper aio rather trite, and if tho local
diior cares not to 'rilo good ones I'll ho
lilowcd if I don't (ry it my.self." He was
immediately pitched out of the third
sloiy window.
Nervous German student: "Professor,
thebinss band is not allowed to piny in
die building during tho day; wouldn't
ihi- samo rule apply to the Eloruiion
olusMJeV" Prof, listens to tin' vocal bom
Imrdmout from tho chapel mid promise
to see about it.
"The Duo do Borgoguo, what, don't
you know who tho Due do Burgogne
was?" bald tho Prof., " why, he was tho
heir to the throne, an excel lout young
man, a Sunday school young man,--but
he died." Ingenious pupil: ' Perhaps
that's what killed hi-u "
Tutor Little has been assigned the tine
largo room formorl, occupied by tho Con
'Tvntory of Music. The change was
inudu necessary by tho size of his classes
it Hie preparatory mathematics. Tho
J" "' left vacant by' this movo will bo
used as piano room next leim.
The extremely funny practice of label
ing the hacks of students has not yet gone
out of date. A member of Snell's Geog
laphy class recently bore the staitling
announcement "For Side. Inquire within."
On discovering it the victim looked as
though tho sale had already taken place.
Why in tho namo of common sense are
the rules in regard to conduct in the
halls not enforced? Students may be
found at almost any time "raising Cain"
in some parts of the building, and the j
professors are as meek as lambs. A
little strict discipline would have a whole
some ellecl.
During tho exercises of the Union soci
ety, two weelcs ago, a bunch of firo-craok-ers
was set oil' in the hall of the second
iloor, and made charming music. The
perpetrators of this outrage nro known.
It is not their (list offinso, and we may
expect interesting developments in the
near future.
Some idiot was thoughtful enough to
sot tire to a quantity of paper on the Iloor
cf the third hall, last week, and succeeded
in charring up the wood work in an artis
tic manner. What it was done for and
who did it is a mystery. If George finds
tho prepetralors they will lrivo an interest
ing inlerervlow, you may be sure.
Skating is glorious sport, but one of
our Sophomores will not lake any more
of it in his'n for a few days, at least. In
company with a juvenile relative lie was
skimming along the congealed surfaco of
the noble Salt, when both went plump
Into the mouth of tho N street sower.
Faugh I Ho will patronize the roller
shaking rink in the future.
Prof. Aughoy is still in Washington,
and his classes have boon distributed
around to anyone kind enough to take
them. Air. 13. P. Rich has been elected
to tho chair of Physiology and IS". Z. Snell
that of Physical Geography for the remain
dor of the semester. Editorials denounc
ing tho manner in which these classes arc
taught are now in order.
Ho is passionately fond of music and
stopped an interesting conversation to
remark, "Hoys, them's a band playing!"
All rush to the windows, lean far out, and
drink in the melody of a carpet-boating
matinee in tho next yard, accompanied by
n lively quirrol between two dogs in a
neighboring alloy. They rather sheepish
ly conclude that the band has stopped
playing or gouo out of hearing.
A movement is on foot to secure sub
stantial asphallum walks for the campus.
It has been agreed, wo believe, to lay tho
matter before the Regents at their next
meeting. The need of walks is evident to
nil. Unless they arc built at once the
tiower beds and borders will bo destroyed.
A man cannot bo blamed for tramping
over tho dry borders when the walks
proper nro impassable.
Information in regard to tho following
books, belonging to the University library,
issouglitby the librarian: Abbot's Shakes
pel inn Grammar; Palgravo's Golden
Treasury; Shaw's Mnnunl of English
Literature; De Tocquevillc's Democracy
in America; Life of Thos. Jefferson;
Andrew's Civil Government; Thos. Hig
ginson's Outdoor Papers; Mndison Pa-
pers; Darwin's Works; Marsh's Man's
Placo in Nature.
When Prof. Little occupies tho lnrgo
room across tho hall from our office, wo
may expect that the morning matinees on
the stairs close by will cease. Where the
performers will go to continue their inter
csting exhibitions is not known. We sug
gest that the basement or the fourth floor
be placed at their disposal, and rhoy open
out witli the thrilling play, "Mashed; or
the Fate of the Golden Bang." Full
houses a ro assured.
Wo have often admired the grit dis
played br the students who live out at the
college farm in attending the University
literary societies. However, it is reported
that in the future they will devote their
lime to the building up of their society,
which meets every Saturday evening in a
room in in the farm dormitory. If this
move is made the sturdy and studious
agricultural students will bo missed from
the regular societies.
The band has already commenced re
hearsing for spring work, with the follow
ing membership: Will Jones, Eb Cornet;
Frank Garlock, 2nd Eb; Dan Wheeler,
Mb; George Frankforter, 1st Alto; M, E
Wheeler, 2nd Alto; W. II. Liclity, Tenor;
A. P. Fair, Baritone; C. Schumakcr, Bb
Bass; Robert Silvers, Tuba; Goo. Hitch,
cock, Snare Drum, E. O. Lewis, Bass
Drum. Leader, Hitchcock; Bus. Man.,
Dan Wheeler; Drum Major, Clark.
W. II. Liultty returned from his vaca
tion n sadder and a wiser man. At Wy
nioro some poison devoid of the first prin
ciples of honesty or right appropriated
his overcoat, a fine embroidered scurf,
and two silk " wipes." Henry spent some
time in searching for the miscreant, with
blood in his eye and a small Gatling gnu
in ills hip pocket, but without succ-ss.
Rigid lieio wo wish to say that the party
wlio reported that the lo.vs was caused by
too much New Years' calling, is a base
fabricator.
The drill ground will mnko a famous
placo for foot-ball, cricket, lawn tennis,
baso ball, etc , and wo hope that theso
health.giving games .vill bo indulged in
as soon as tho weather perm its. The pica
of some that they have no time for such
exercise is not a good one. Students who
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