THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. "Swift of foot was Hiawatha; Ho (outil shool nn arrow from him, Ami run forward with such llootnce. That the nrrow loll behind hunt Strong of arm was Hlawalm; lie could phoot ten arrows upward, Shoot them with Mich strength nnd swiftness That the tenth had left the liowttlnu Kru the first to enrtli had fallen ! Tlit'it Prof. Little desired llio class to tiscertuin if it would be infc to bet the odds on Hiawatha at the Derby. The class held a mournful consultation out in the hall alter ict'itntion. "It's very blind," said the short girl. " It's a slicker," said the short girl. " What would Longfellow say?" qttcr. ied the mild-eyed youth. " I don't know, but I think I can do it," exclaimed the infant prodigy with his eyes on the ground. "It's an n-nurrow problem," remarked the boy who never could do anything but make a poor pun, and the class meeting broke up on the spot. Sure enough, of couise, as everybody expected, the infant prodigy gravely put tiio figures on the blackboard the next morning, and showed the class that Long fellow had slightly exngeiated his hero's powers, for it would be necessary for Ilia wntliu to run a mile in forty.six seconds if he performed the feat ascribed lo him. The usual lime of horses in the Derby is 1:60. (QhiMrcn't (olimm. NOTE. Complaint having reached our ears that the Freshmen of tiio University fail to grasp the en tire stupendousnos of the Student, and desiring to furnish reading matter within the comprohen sion of all. we have opened n department express ly for the Froshman class. We hope that parents will tnko notice of this fact nnd subscribe, for the Student intends to bo a most comprehensive pe riodical and contain something of interest to young as well as old. Tiiet.ooal Enrron. j-cS" vs ClIArTEU I. What is this? Tills is u Door. Is it not a prelty Thing? Yes, and it is some times quite Tame. Where are they found ? On the big prai-rics and one kind in Towns. Are ihere any Deer in Lin-coln ? Oh, ycs there arc many Doer in Lin-coln. Would you not like one for a Pot? Yes, in deed. Well, when you are a big Ju i or per haps you may have one. It is very dear PJeaBure, though. ClIAPTKK IT. These are the Specs of our Ed-i.lor. He puts them on to fright-en Utile Fresh.men out.qf the Offlcc. Then he looks ter.ri- bio! But he is not dan-gcr-ous, al-though he is very tall and slim. Is lie as tall and slim as Mar-shall? No, he is not as tall and slim as Mat-shall. Most Ed-i-tors are fright-fuHy Poor. Is our Ed-i-tor Poor? Oh, no; our Ed-i-tor is is Rich. Ciiaptku III. This is a Soph o-tnoro. Is it an An-l-mal? That is a prob-lem. Nat-ural-isls have not de-ter-min-cd what It is. It has no Beard, but It has Brains. Sec the Brains on Its Head. You can count them. How many Bruins has It got? Must it not bo very Wise? Yes. It is very wise. CllAlTEK IV. Is this a Bush ? No, this is not a Bush, this is a Tree. 11 is a Trei- on the Col-lege Cam-pusl Ts it not nice to stand in the shade of the tree on the Cum.pus? Oh, yes: it is very nice if one lias an um-brel la. Does the Tree grow ? Yes, the Tree grows fast. George McLean waters the Tree ev.ery Morning. ClIAl'TEIl V. Come, now, dear lit-llc Fresh-man, can you tell us what this is? Per-hapsyou do not do not know. It Is a quad.ru-ped found in wild Places and In-sane Asylums It should always bo Indeed mi, be-cause it makes aw-ful noises if frol-cd with. There is one in the Room across from our OIllcc. It is a cross Thing. Pcr-haps it is Sick. It needs a Doctor bad-ly. Could Doc Paine do It good? No, not oven Doc Paine could do It any Good. Give it a Best. A ClIAl'TEIl VI. What are these Peo-ple do-ing? Of course you do not Know. They are do. ing something very, very wick.ed. They are dan-cing. We pray your tastes may never fall so low iib to lead you to Dance. If you want A-inuse.mcnt play nice lli.de games with each oth-er. There- is Pil-low, and King Wil-li.am and Post.Ofllco and Ja-cob and Ruth and Co-penha-gcn and Spat-'cm-otit In these you will nbl bo so fu-rail-iar with each oth-er as in Dan-cing. IIuut.the.BiU-tou is al-so a qtii-ct prel.ty game lot young La-dies ana Gen.tle.men. ClIAl'TEIl VII. Arc these Dan-cing, too? No, they are not o.v.act.ly Dan-cing. They are trying the Stand-ing Still Waltz. That is not Bad. Good folks who would not real.ly Dance would do this Is the iady not heau-ti-ful ? Yes, she is quite too-too. Is Ihe Man Sol-id? Yes, lie is sol-ul theie They are stand-ing by the Bell Hope. !& ClIAl'TEIl VIII. See, is this not a line Bird? Do you roc.og-ni.e it? It lives but a year, but il is very Promt. It always dies on the last Thnrs-day in No-vem-her. Is that not Strange? Is it not good Grub? Yes, it is im-men.se Grub! R12MEMBER IIAKDINC & AVE"TKU1IHLDS Star Shaving Parlor Is the place to get n first class Shave, for ten cents: Hair Cutting twenty five ce,uts. N. E Cor. 0 nnd 12 stieets. Sign ota big Star A.M. DAVIS, U'ltultnnlt nnd Uttntl Itruttr in S wph OIl-ClotliN, .Mattings. ItugN, MntN, "Willi Paper, Window Shades, Laco Curtains, Dumusk.&c., Nor i East 0 St. LINCOLN, NEI1 CARPENDER & STEINER, Dealers in Drugs & Stationary PSt., bet. lOlhtfc 11th, LINCOLN, - - NEHUASKA. JANSEN BROS. COMPANY. Mamitttctiircr Retailers and Jobbers of FURNITURE West Sldo or Post Oilleo Square. LINCOLN, NEU. MRS. W. ROTHSCHILD, w TiHiW&W eWMtM l tfiKkAhiJfhiJff Oent'u Clothing Made, Cleaned and Repaired. Eleventh Street bet. M and N over City Laundry.