Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1881)
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
"Swift of foot was Hiawatha;
Ho (outil shool nn arrow from him,
Ami run forward with such llootnce.
That the nrrow loll behind hunt
Strong of arm was Hlawalm;
lie could phoot ten arrows upward,
Shoot them with Mich strength nnd swiftness
That the tenth had left the liowttlnu
Kru the first to enrtli had fallen !
Tlit'it Prof. Little desired llio class to
tiscertuin if it would be infc to bet the
odds on Hiawatha at the Derby. The
class held a mournful consultation out in
the hall alter ict'itntion.
"It's very blind," said the short girl.
" It's a slicker," said the short girl.
" What would Longfellow say?" qttcr.
ied the mild-eyed youth.
" I don't know, but I think I can do
it," exclaimed the infant prodigy with his
eyes on the ground.
"It's an n-nurrow problem," remarked
the boy who never could do anything but
make a poor pun, and the class meeting
broke up on the spot.
Sure enough, of couise, as everybody
expected, the infant prodigy gravely put
tiio figures on the blackboard the next
morning, and showed the class that Long
fellow had slightly exngeiated his hero's
powers, for it would be necessary for Ilia
wntliu to run a mile in forty.six seconds
if he performed the feat ascribed lo him.
The usual lime of horses in the Derby is
Complaint having reached our ears that the
Freshmen of tiio University fail to grasp the en
tire stupendousnos of the Student, and desiring
to furnish reading matter within the comprohen
sion of all. we have opened n department express
ly for the Froshman class. We hope that parents
will tnko notice of this fact nnd subscribe, for the
Student intends to bo a most comprehensive pe
riodical and contain something of interest to
young as well as old.
What is this? Tills is u Door. Is it not
a prelty Thing? Yes, and it is some times
quite Tame. Where are they found ? On
the big prai-rics and one kind in Towns.
Are ihere any Deer in Lin-coln ? Oh, ycs
there arc many Doer in Lin-coln. Would
you not like one for a Pot? Yes, in deed.
Well, when you are a big Ju i or per
haps you may have one. It is very dear
These are the Specs of our Ed-i.lor. He
puts them on to fright-en Utile Fresh.men
out.qf the Offlcc. Then he looks ter.ri-
bio! But he is not dan-gcr-ous, al-though
he is very tall and slim. Is lie as tall and
slim as Mar-shall? No, he is not as tall
and slim as Mat-shall. Most Ed-i-tors are
fright-fuHy Poor. Is our Ed-i-tor Poor?
Oh, no; our Ed-i-tor is is Rich.
This is a Soph o-tnoro. Is it an An-l-mal?
That is a prob-lem. Nat-ural-isls
have not de-ter-min-cd what It is. It has
no Beard, but It has Brains. Sec the
Brains on Its Head. You can count them.
How many Bruins has It got? Must it
not bo very Wise? Yes. It is very wise.
Is this a Bush ? No, this is not a Bush,
this is a Tree. 11 is a Trei- on the Col-lege
Cam-pusl Ts it not nice to stand in the
shade of the tree on the Cum.pus? Oh,
yes: it is very nice if one lias an um-brel
la. Does the Tree grow ? Yes, the Tree
grows fast. George McLean waters the
Tree ev.ery Morning.
Come, now, dear lit-llc Fresh-man, can
you tell us what this is? Per-hapsyou do
not do not know. It Is a quad.ru-ped
found in wild Places and In-sane Asylums
It should always bo Indeed mi, be-cause
it makes aw-ful noises if frol-cd with.
There is one in the Room across from our
OIllcc. It is a cross Thing. Pcr-haps it
is Sick. It needs a Doctor bad-ly.
Could Doc Paine do It good? No, not
oven Doc Paine could do It any Good.
Give it a Best.
What are these Peo-ple do-ing? Of
course you do not Know. They are do.
ing something very, very wick.ed. They
are dan-cing. We pray your tastes may
never fall so low iib to lead you to Dance.
If you want A-inuse.mcnt play nice lli.de
games with each oth-er. There- is Pil-low,
and King Wil-li.am and Post.Ofllco and
Ja-cob and Ruth and Co-penha-gcn and
Spat-'cm-otit In these you will nbl bo so
fu-rail-iar with each oth-er as in Dan-cing.
IIuut.the.BiU-tou is al-so a qtii-ct prel.ty
game lot young La-dies ana Gen.tle.men.
Arc these Dan-cing, too? No, they are
not o.v.act.ly Dan-cing. They are trying
the Stand-ing Still Waltz. That is not
Bad. Good folks who would not real.ly
Dance would do this Is the iady not
heau-ti-ful ? Yes, she is quite too-too. Is
Ihe Man Sol-id? Yes, lie is sol-ul theie
They are stand-ing by the Bell Hope.
See, is this not a line Bird? Do you
roc.og-ni.e it? It lives but a year, but il
is very Promt. It always dies on the last
Thnrs-day in No-vem-her. Is that not
Strange? Is it not good Grub? Yes, it
is im-men.se Grub!
IIAKDINC & AVE"TKU1IHLDS
Star Shaving Parlor
Is the place to get n first class Shave, for
ten cents: Hair Cutting twenty five ce,uts.
N. E Cor. 0 nnd 12 stieets.
Sign ota big Star
U'ltultnnlt nnd Uttntl Itruttr in
OIl-ClotliN, .Mattings. ItugN,
MntN, "Willi Paper,
Window Shades, Laco Curtains, Dumusk.&c.,
Nor i East 0 St. LINCOLN, NEI1
CARPENDER & STEINER,
Drugs & Stationary
PSt., bet. lOlhtfc 11th,
LINCOLN, - - NEHUASKA.
JANSEN BROS. COMPANY.
Mamitttctiircr Retailers and
West Sldo or Post Oilleo Square.
MRS. W. ROTHSCHILD,
eWMtM l tfiKkAhiJfhiJff
Oent'u Clothing Made, Cleaned
Eleventh Street bet. M and N over City Laundry.
Powered by Open ONI