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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 1, 1881)
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T H B II K S P (3 It 1 A N STUDBN T.
For University text hooks, blank books,
and nil kinds or slaMonury, go to the
Hook Storo of Pox & Slruvo.
For n nicu fitting anil gooil wearing
boot or shoe, Goodrich Bros, will give
you HiitlBiuclton. Largo stock and low
Miss Bell and Prof Chamberlain will
givuan entertainment with lliclr pupils in
' about three weeks which promises to bo
something above the ordinnry, as the
names of those pupils will testify.
Students Stive Money
by purchasing what you need of II. 0.
Lett & Bon, on 10th, hutweon P. & Q.
They keep a full line of Dry Goods, Gro.
ceries, boots shoes, hats and cups. They
will make it to you interest to try them.
MIbs Bell and Prof. Chamberlain arc
giving readings at various places through,
out the state, besides giving instruction
to n large class in Orcto and also in the
Y. M. 0. A. Hull in this place.
"There is honor oven among thieves,"
but some have yet to learn this elementary
principle in the semi. barbaric code. One
of the llrst elements of a civilized man is
to be able to uckuowlegc an honorable
defeat as well as to survive a victory
Men as well as nations have been wrecked
in both ways. But the man who can
not show a sprinkling of the first clement
presupposes poverty of the last. "Verily
thy sins do find thec out."
In a late issue of the "Scientific Amcr
ican" we find the following inventory of
the products ol woman's mechanical in
genuity for the year ending July, 1880.
Most of their inventions have to do with
household rpplianccp. Most of their in.
Tcntions are inferior to those patented in
1879; this is accounted for by the increase
of ten above the average number, which
is sixty. "Among the past year are a jar.
lifter, a bag holder, a pillow sham holder,
a dress protector, two dust pans, a wash
ing machine, a fluting Iron, u dress churl,
a fish boner, a sleeve adjuster, a lap table
a sewing machine treadle, a wash basin
an iron heater, sad irons, a garment slit",
feuener, a folding chair, u wardrobe bed,
a weather strip, a churn, an invalid.-,
bed, a strainer, a milk r.inU'r. a .,h hn,
a dipper, a paper disli and pouting do
vice." The election of Uen. C. II. Van Wyck
(J. 8. Senator from Nebraska is an import
ant event in political circles. Gen. Van
Wyck is well known not only in our own
state, but the most flattering notices have
been given him by the press of other
states. Considerable interest attended the
choice of Senator at this time. At pres.
cnt there rro two forces at work in the
politics of Nebraska, Eastern capitalists
and corporations and the people them
selves. The impqrtuncc of tho senatorial
contest therefore lies in this fact. The
practical question to be decided was,
-filial 1 men who are not citizens of Neb
raska, but wlp have largo monied inter,
csts here, or shall tho people themselves
nay who shall bo senator from Nebraska.
Much feeling was exhibited by tho stu.
dents during tho contest as to its outcome.
The Student but expresses tho general
sentiment of tho students when it says
it considers tho election of Gen. Van
Wyck a complete victory for the people,
not of mm section but for the whole slate,
'I hope they won't have such music as
and that "it is Just as It should be."
The grandest product of the farm Is the
boys and girls. In every avenue of lilo
where thrift, capacity and energy are re.
quired, the man who pushes to the front
is the son of a farmer He has the Intolll.
gence, There Is a broad sort of com.
moil sense running through all his acts.
He is what the world calls a level headed
man. He has a constitution that can en
dure labor. It is a notable fact that in
the colleges of our country the best stu
dents arc the boys from the farm. In the
workshops, behind the counter, in the
halls of legislation, at the bar, in tho fo
rum, in the pulpit, nincty-ninc hund
redths of tho men who stand upon tho
summit were once boys on tho farm.
They were barefooted, wore patched
elothes and worked for their bread
Most ouc.half of the people of this conn
try reside in town. Where are tho town
boys in the race of life? Fooling, curl.
ing their hair and polishing their boots,
while the rough country boy is plunging
bare.footed along tho road to fame. With
book under one arm and a few extra
clolhcB in his hand, he passes tho elegant
homo of the town boy and looks in on
ease and luxury, almost for the first time.
He may be called a tramp and refused a
crust; one day ho will return and buy
that mortgage-covered houso, and become
the honored citizen of that town. Where
did that boy get his noble purpose and
his unfaltering courage ? They were born
to him on the farm; they were woven in
to his fibre by early years of toll ; the
warp and woof of his life are threads of
gold. Prof. S. A. Knaw.
that in heaven," said a young lady to -her
singing room-mate. "It won't make any
difference to you," letorted ilio room
A certain little damsel being aggravated
past enduaauco by her big brother, fell
down upon her knees and cried ; "O, Lord I
bless my brother Tom. He lies, lie steals,
he swears. All the boys do, us girls don't
Professor: "Mr. M , what is the answer
to tho second question V"
Mr. M. (after waiting in vain to ho
prompted): "Nobody seems to know,
Teacher in drawing: "You have not
drawn the angles for tho outline of that
apple just right." Chaicoal artist: "I
was trying to draw that candle stick!"
Teacher recognizes a faint resemblance.
A Senior, with a very serious face, was
observed to bo very thoughtfully dishing
out the butter; and when asked what ho
was studying, ho seriously replied that
he was studying Ancient Greece. .
Young lady (speaking about her pros
pects in life): "Tho height ol my atnbL
tion is to become the wife of the Presi.
dent of tho United States." Junior: "Well,
I'm an aspirant for that ofllee."
Latest example of syllogism: Professor,
staling two propositions, "Harry is not
my brother. John is not my brother.
Mr. 0. "Neither oj them is your bro-ther."
We clip the following from an eloquent
Freshman's oration: "Throught the whole
history of the world, the footprints ot
God's hand may bo traced. Ex.
It is a poor speller who doea' not keep
an i to business.
The cultured way to speak of u burles
que actress' dress is to say that the sklrtB
are very decollett at the bottom.
"There is no place like home" repeated
Mr. Henpeck, looking at u motto, and he
heartily added; "I'm glad there isn't."
First Junior: ? , Hill, where's the
Latin lesson? Second Junior: "Page
804 of the horse; don't no where it is in
tho other book."
The number of students at Yale is 1003 ;
Harvard, 1,350; Michigan "University,
1,807; Pennsylvania University 1,800; Co
lumbia, 1,430, and Weslyan, 101.
Class-room Mr- K.: "It is po cold in
this room that my foot is just turning into
an icicle." Smart Freshio: "It seems to
me that, it looks more like an iceberg."
A Prof, opened a talk to one of his
classes on an event of 1830 with the
remark: "I presume you all remember
it." Sir? College Index.
Prof., (in Astronomy) "What lime
does Mars get full?" Junior "Don't
know, sir, I never associalo with such
Prof.: If I should tell you that ice
could be heated so hot that it could not
bo held in tho hand, what would you say?
Cheeky Junior:' Well Professor, know
ing you as 1 do, I should ubIc you to
prove it. Class becomes noisy.
An, old lady visiting the Antiquarian
Museum in Edinburg the other day, on
inspecting the old weapons very earnestly,
and failing to find what she was appar
ently looking for, asked a visitor, "where
they kept the axe of the Apostles." SchoU
A baldheadcd professor, reporting a
youth for the exercise ol lists, said: "We
light with our heads at this college."
The young pugilist hesitated and replied:
"Ah, I sie; and you have butted all your
Scene in Optic Class. Prof.: "Miss W.
you may recite."
Miss W. "I don't think I will try,
the bell will ring in a miuute."
Prof, to next lady. "Miss A., you may
Miss A. "I don't believe I'll havo time
before tlu bell rings."
The Professor subsides.
Not long ago as one of our Fresh-
men, (what adjective can describe a Fresh
man V) was enjoying his "constitutional,"
ho met an unsophisticated looking grang
er astride a mule. Tho mule brays tho
Freshman speaks; he asks ttie country,
man, "which one spoke then ?" The reply
came instantly. "all three."
A professor's definition of collegians:
Freshman one at war with the Lutiu
language ; Sophomore one that b as ic
noraniot Urcqk as an unborn babe; Ju.
n:or one who needs to be reminded that
he has a forgotten gramnujr accumulating
dust on some forgotten shelf; Senior
one whoso classics are to him torra tncoy
A witty Medio is a prodigy, but there
Is said to he one In the class this yea:
Ho very demurely asked the tall Junior
the other day how he pronounced tho
word "Bao-kaoho." Of course tho Ju.
nlor could not tell him; but when tho
Medic smiled and said ho thought it was
"Uack-ache," the Junior wept and the
Medic scored one. Vidette.
It was In tho Junior Biology. One of
tho members had adjusted his microscope
so that Instead of a cross-section of black
walnut there wa3 only visible a highly
magnified spot of the gum used in pre.
paring the specimens. The member
called the Prof, and innocently inquired
where the colta were in this specimen nl'
woo'd. Tho Prof, tumbled (as the girls
say) and answered 'T imagine it to be
all 'sell.'" Member fainis.
"Tho pebble in the streamlet scant,
litis changed tho course of many a river;
Tho dew-drop on tho baby plant,
lias warped tho giant oak forever."
Toll mo, yo angelic host,
Yo ministers of love,
Can BUtlerlng prluters hero bolow,
Have no redress above?
Thonngcl band replied:
"To us is knowlcgo given,
Delinquents on tho printer's books
Can never enter heaven."
A llttlo peach in tho orchard grew,
A llttlo peach of emerald hue.
A. llttlo boy ho climbed tho fence,
And took that peach from hcuco to thenco.
A little colic found him there,
nd then ho climbed the golden stair.
His weeping playmates could not tell
Whether ho went to heaven or not.
Uo found a good warm placo thcro though,
Too tropical to peaches grow.
Prof.: "What case is brevi in?" Stu
dent: "It la masculine gender." Prof.:
"But what case is it in ?" Stu.: "It is an
adjective.'" Prof.: "Where do you flud
It?" Stu.: "It Is of the class of two teiv
initiations." Prof.: "Can you tell what it
is from?" Stu.: "It limits tho noun."
Prof.: "Well, where is it found ?" Stu. :
"The accusitlve is brevtm." Prof.: "Can
you tell icluit case this is?" Student: "No,
sir." College Index.
The class In Mental Philosophy, with
thoughtful attention, havo listened to the
exemplification of the point in question
as shown in tho conduct of namau to
ward Moidecai. Mr. II., enthusiastic
with the delightful novelty of tho narra
live, enquires: "Dr., what book Is that
in?" A cooling of ardor, a folding of
arms and a subsiding of feeling is noticed,
as tho Dr. remarked that "ho would find
it in theBlblo." Central Collegian.
The Finest Drug Store in
Lincoln or the West is that
Between 11 and 15 on O St.
The patronage of tho public
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