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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1877)
152 A Fuw Thoughts on Conveubatiox. 1 M4 -I, M f H R The poet Lycophon once declared thnl he would linng himself if a man could be found who could understand his Cassan. dra." The world at present has no pa tionce with such men. If a man writes or speaks now-a-days in such a manner as not to he readily understood, his words are useless and fruitless as nobody will take the trouble to search out his hidden meaning. Never make a vague or unmeaning as sortion or statement. Always speak to the point whatever may be the topic of conversation. When we say speak to the point in conversation, we do not mean that a person is to practise habitual si lence unless he has something particular and necessity to say, and then give expres sion to his thought in the shortest, surliest way possible. Spartan brevity is as detri mental to pleasant, entertaining conversa tion as Athenian loquaciousness. The mcar between these two extremes is the best and safest course to pursue if you would be entertaining and at the same time command attention. In conversation, as a rule, provincial isms and all such superfluous, unmeaning expressions as " good gracious," "by Jupi ter, "w,cll now I'll be confounded," etc etc., should be avoided. I Bay as a rule, because these expressions should be avoid od, necessarily, only in good societ'. If you are by chance among people who use these expressions, and even worse ones, you will be countod odd and less than a gentleman by them if you do not talk as the rest of the company do. It is related of Montaigne, that, while in Paris, he fre quently called the street arabs, boys from the most degraded ranks of society, into his parlor to give hisjown boys lessons in the street dialects. When questioned by a friend as to the object of this singular conduct, Montaigne replied that he wished his boys to become so cultured that they might be able to adapt them selves to any society and feel perfectly at home in it. 1 shall not discuss the wis. ilufi of hiielt a coulee of trtdningfor boj's; but the story suggests a thought which some would-be elegant convorsationlists might do well to ponder, i. c. that conver sation to be agreeable must often be brought down to a level with that of your companion. Hut ordinarily there is no need of lowering thu tone of conversation. The great failing of most conversational ists, even of educated men, is a lark of el egance xand correctness of expression. This is one thing which makes the arl of conversation so dillicult to acquire in its higher degree of perfection. Many per sons seem to think that little talent is dis played in good conversation; but it is a mistake. There arc fewer good conversa tionalists in society than authors and speech-makers. Everyone, unless he be dumb, can converse, but very few people can converse well; and it is quite as ditli. cult a matter to learn the art of conversa tion, as to learn the art of writing. Dr. Johnson, who in his time was reckoned the best conversationalist in England, said that he had only acquired his proficiency in the art by resolving when a youth nev er to sit' anything unless he could say it in the most elegant and proper of ways. It is only by close observation and long practice that we can become very profi cient conversationalists. To speak so that anotlicr can hear you, is an important thing in conversation. It is not only very disagreeable, but like wise embarassing, for one listening to you to be obliged to stand to with " aurilutt arrcctts" as Virgil says, in order to hear what you may be saying, or else be under the necessity of asking you to repeat your words. It is Hannah More, I think, who has somewhere remarked that one of the minor virtues is to speak so that you can be heard. Conversation should be adapted to the time and company. Some people, think ing with Montaigne no doubt, tnat ' the and fly quite as quickly upon being ined died with. Iutidvortoncc or absence of mind in speaking may often cuusc another its much 4
