Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885, April 01, 1876, Page 8, Image 8
.jL.z!teimmmmmmm JL 8 THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. wwTt.'afeeBwnwfiBr ! 'at vjjJsttesvwtJSUm Vim Cry of Intemperance. I inn dying, Toniporanco, dying, I can fuel my life-blood flow, Thou hail caused tho dart to untcr, Tliou hast dealt tho fittal blow. Kings niul queeiiH have bowed before inn, Potentates huvu liuon my hIuvjs, Wealth and honor ntooped to worship. And accept it drunkard' grave All the world ha noon my glory, All linvo full my filial power, Men to buatn huvu turned before nit'. In a wuak, unguarded hour. I have canned tho widow's mourning, And thu orphan' liiltur team, Child and mother hopeless corrow, As thuy watched thu drunkard' lilur. 1 have mndo thu rich to tremble, And tho poor ho poorer Mill ; Made tho monarch wield his coplor At tho bidding or my will. I have brought thu living aorrow, -Hut when came tho funeral knell, Joy and gladness reigned HUproinely Through tho lowest depths of hell. Now I'm dying, Temperance, dying, Thou hunt done thy work too well. Farewell, friend and foe, forever, llucclius too, a long farewell. SilitH on tho 1'acilh. Coumi. wltii which to muko her homo lively. Just boyonil is a gcntlcmiui, on wlioso up per lip is tho down which betrays his youth, touching daintily with his foppish cunou bouquotnf hot-house dowers intend, ed for the fair one who has lately captivat ed his heart. Just opposite tho flower stand, the odor of cheese arises, and turn ing, we see everything coming under this head, from the foreign LimbiTgor to the home-made Schmirkase. Next, a stand for embroideries and fancy work, and while we are wondering what will come next our escort quickly steps ahead and out of j the labyrinth and opens a door. Of course ; we pass through the door and llnd our I selves in Iho daintiest and tiniest of res taurants. As soon as wo have seated our selves at one of the tiny tables and given our orders for one of their famous "stews," tho gentlemanly proprietor brings us (for tunately for this occasion we are ladies) a i bouquet of sweet spring violets, and during ! the meal wc regale ourselves with the ' odor of Ilowcrs instead of the custom ary ale or beer. Next is placed be fore us a plate covered with an im maculate napkin, and raising this you start as you sec a plateful of the most hor rible,and to tho uninitiated tho most fright ful of eatables. These are the shrimps which every Frisco lady says she loves mid every gentleman declares are tho best eating in the world. Then comes the fun of teaching tho stranger the process of breaking the shells. This is fun indeed, and if the stranger bo a huly, she involun tarily does all that is expected of her sex in tho way of screams and starts, and at Inst she drops tho ugly looking tilings in great disgust. By the time this fun is over your order is filled, and the oysters are placed before you. Was anything ever more delicious? We sit and eat and chat as long as we feel inclined, and when we have finished we pay the small price for our dinner, and again go out into the are full of people I Market, and through this to Montgomery it is said (and tru-! St. Un this street we elbow our wav as well as wo can. Montgomery St. is as emphatically the gents' street as Kearney Si- is tho ladies'. On we go, staring in country style at the buildings, tho show windows and the crowd. After a low blocks of this slow journey we find ourselves being steadily drawn from the crowd, and begin to real izo that in spite of our fears to the contra ry, we have escaped with a little breath, and stop before the Diamond Palace, of which gorgeous establisnient J. 11. An drews is the wealthy proprietor. Tho window is fairly ablaze witli diamonds. Mirrors arc placed at the back of the win dow, by which means itjs made to appear square instead of triangular. In each cor ner is a slowly revolving globe, on which are placed in graceful positions tho dia monds most noted tor size, brilliancy or selling. In the center of the window is the largest diamond in California; it is about the size of a nickel. All around this magnificent centerpiece arc jeweled watches and necklaces with prices most fabulous. After gazing long at the win dow, if you wish to purchase jewels, or have a loiter of introduction to the firm, you step insido and become lost in tho beauties that surround you. Tho room is lined with mirrors and when at last we come to our senses wc are puzzled to tell which of the man' reflections of ourself is the real one. Our good escort comes to our assistance, and wo regretfully loave tho beautiful place and firmly resolvo to visit it often. From this Palace we go to another which is quito as noted as tills. and about which I shall tell you in tho fu turo Sauoy. TUB LOCAL AT WORK AMONG OUK EXCHANGES. It is easier by far to tell of the wonder ful and interesting sights which one sees in San Francisco, or Frisco as it is called by its inhabitants, than to describe the city itself. It is hilly, and some of the streets are seemingly inaccessible, for you look upward until it seems as though the roofs of the houses reached tho clouds. Some of the street cars are run by steam up streets which horses can not travel. Tho houses are built entirely of wood; such a thing as a brownstoue, or marble front is unknown. But with all the irregularity of the strcels, (and they are very irregular,) it is almost impossible to lose one's self, for, turn which way you will, the building of the Court of Records faces you. The rainy season is al last over, and the streets and dust. As ly too) that people are in a better humor after having eaten a hearty meal, I will first take my friends to the grand Cal ifomia Market, which is perhaps the larg est establishment of the kind in the United States. Starting down Kearney St, we gaze with wonder at the great number of ladies who are promenading the street, and though there are many gentlemen, they seem comparatively few. This is cm phatically tho ladles' street, and every la dy who can dress in tho latest and most extravagant fashion is expected to be there on all bright days. A poorly dressed per son is rarely seen in tho city. As we pass down the street tho taste for the beautiful is fully satisfied in tho line display of paintings and statuary, with which the store windows are filled. Fortunately for fiight-seers, this is a Cosmopolitan city, and one may stand for hours, gazing through the great windows without at tracting any attention. As wo turn from Kearney St. to California St. we fairly stand still at the sight of tho moving mass of black broadcloth and silk hats. Tho noon Stock Board is in session and the crowd is so densoly packed that it is al most impossible to pass it. Proceeding a short distance we ascend a few steps, and are in the Market. At our right is an olo gantly dressed lady ordering the most costly vegetables for her dinner, and at tho next stall is one less favored with wealth buying a dime's worth of sausage ior the hungry little ones at home. Far. ther on is a young lady selecting birds She asked him if her new dress wasn't as sweet as a Spring rose, and thu brute stiid it was, oven to Iho minor attraction of I still h.iving a little duo on it. Ex. Fresh : ''1 wonder why my mustache doesn't grow under my nose ns well ns at the corners of my mouth " Soph: "Too much shade." (Cries of more.) Ex. "Talk aboul extravagance in dress of women!" cries Martha Jane, oxultingly. "What do you say to Tweed's six million suit, I'd like to know I He isn't a woman, I guess." -Ex. ".Man," says Victor Hugo, "was the .conundrum of tho eighteenth century, I woman is the conundrum of the nine teenth century. Wo cant guess her but we 'II never give her up no never!" Ex. A long discussion between a young j lady and gentleman of the town of S , as to which had the larger mouth, was brought to a close by the gentleman, say. ing: "Let's measure." Ex. A Ruflalo man dreamed that he was going over the Falls, and he had his wife by the throat when he woke up. Next night she had a dream, and broke his nose as she was striking an Indian. Ex. Tho skeptic, when he plunges into the depths of infidelity, like tho miser who 'leaps from the shipwreck, will find that the treasures which he bears about him I will only sink him the deeper in the abyss ! Ex. As a Fresh, and his girl were walking down town the other day, they saw a horse I slip and fall down in the street. The young lady threw up her hands and ut itcred tho following "little, tender, dolorous cry:" O, murder, that horse has fainted!" I Ex. An attorney read n petition in court i from ii man up country who slated that he 'had ordered a curtain grade of whisky J and had received un inferior article, .whereby he had been damaged. Judge j Pershing remarked that it was more like- ly rue petitioner's customers had been damaged by the bad whisky. Ex. When a young man calls on a girl for the first time, and when the conversation lags, and the subject of the weather has been torn all to pieces, then it is that the photograph albums step in and fill up the gap that nothing else in the world could bridge.?!. "What can you say of the second law of thought?" Student "It can not both be and not be. For examplo, the door over there must bo either shut or open ; it can't be both shut and opan." Tutor "Give us another illustration." Student "Well, take the case of another door." Ex. Gentleman on comer of St. Paul and j Main streets last night. Two Froshmen 'swonring at each othor ns though they j were Phil. Sheridan in danger of getting whipped. "Now, now," says gentleman, kindly, "you mustn't use such dreadful language. It's horrible to hoar it" (slips upon pavement and comes down with a crash and an oath), "though I suppose it is excusable on some occasions, condemn It." A'. We commend the following to two or three of our Sophs. Bolter oven than the best 8al vol Try the plan for raising a mustache recommended to one of our Seniors by a lady friend: "Salt well i,10 upper lip, then holding u cup of water nn. detnerlh, catclt the lilllo fellows as they come out to drink." Ex. "HOW DOTH TltlC IiITTI.K IltJSY IIKK" In broken China: How? Sic belly small chin-chin sting bug Ini-lm implovo ebly sllxty niinnlt all a time. Go, plckeo up stlng-btig juice all a day, All kin' places Monti llowels jest got busted. Ex. "There, Philip, tho baby 's awake," remarked Mrs. Sheridan, the other night, "wont you get up nnd walk with her awhile" Tho hero of Five Forks and, the Shenandoah singing "Rock n bye ba by," and pacing the bedroom lloor at two A. M. with regular twenty-eight Inch step, and ten pounds of infant in his soldierly embrace, Is a spectacle calculated to give a tour to the service, and to send Susan U. Anthony into hysterics of delight. Ex. ! The following description of Washing j ton's personal appearance, written in 1778, says an English newspaper, "by a native , of America," contains some points not i generally known: 'Gen. Washington is now in tho 47th year of his age. He is a tall, well-made man, rather large, and has a tolerably gen teel address. His features are manly nnd bold; his eyes of a bluish cast ni.d lively; his hair a deep brown; his face rather long, nnd marked with the small-pox; his complexion sunburned and without much color, and his countenance sensible, com posed, nnd thoughtful. There is n remark able air of dignity about him, with a strik ing degree of gracefulness; he has an ex ccllcnt understanding, without much quickness; is strictly just, vigilant and generous: an affectionate husband, a faith ful friend, a father to the deserving sol dier, a gentleman in his manners, in tem per rather reserved; a total stranger to re ligious prejudices which have so oflonex cited Christians of one denomination to cut the throats of those of another, in his i morals irreproachable; he was never j known to exceed the bounds of thu most i rigid temperance." Ex. ' Prof. In this life when one man does wrong we all sutler for it. If a student should do wrong and an account of it get in the papers we should all stiller. That will not be so in the future life. Student Because the newspaper man wont be there. Targnm. The following is said to bo a copy of Prof. Ty nil nil's proposal to the daughter of Lord Hamilton: Bacharlne conglomeration of proto plasm I Adorable combination of matter nnd force! Barest product of Infinite nges of evolution! the luminiferous ether Is not more responsive to the rays of light than are my nerve centres to the mystic influence which omiuatus from tho photo sphoro of thy countenance. As the helio centric system was evolved from prhnor. dlnl chnos by the workings of inexorablo law, so is that rarifaction of matter which men call my soul lifted fiom profound de spair by the luminance Issuing from thy visual organs. Deign, O, ndmirablc crea ture, U respect that attraction which draws me toward thee u ith a force Inversely pro portional to the squares of tho dlstancp. Grant that wo shall be made double sums, describing concentric orbits, which shall touch each other at all points of their peripherieo. Your own, Tyndam.. "f.m