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About Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 1, 1875)
9WH9I 1 8 THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. I Minutes or (ho Senior Class inouting'. On tho evening of November 9, the Senior Class assembled at their favorite rendezvous, tho Ultli! Mar chamber, for the purpose of cHoctlng u permanent organ!, yjvtion, with sundry uml peculiar objects in vlow, which will appear from these minutes. Tho following members wore i resent: Minerva Atcithi, a Latin Scientific, Keg. Inn llognn. Nestor Clarontlus, u Classic. Johannes Aichitnido, ii Scientific, with mathematical proelivitlc, Chaplain. GorguiH Livius, a Classic and versatile kH., Recording Secretary. After Johannes, the chaplain, had uttered .tip a ferveni invocation, on tho motion of Nestor, Minerva Aleiliu was unanimously .looted presiding officer, with tho title Rogina Itognn. Gorgias Livius waa also elected .secretary. Gorgias then begged pel mission to pre sent the diafi ol a league- of fellowship, , setting fntli Hie "bji'ot of the orgnnizalion. Leave laing obt lined. Gorgias read: "Musi reverend senioiB, you, our fair sis ,tcr and illustrious brothes, greeting: Wlieieas we lrivc recently taken upon ourselves the dignities of our ancient fra ternity, and since in unity there a strength, nil whereas it befits us to resist all ag .fcicfchiun upon our rights, and to proteci ourselves from the scoff.-, and gibe, which (he savage horde of ju iors, sophs and other underlings may put upon us; there, foic wc do bind ourselves together in sol f nut compact, for these objects, namely: to promote our general welfaie, to resist external aggicssion, to quell internal dis. elision, and to punish all iUTuiqucncic-i and dUoicpnncio in our own body, and otherwise devise means for Kustalniiig our dignity 1" This resolution was finally adopted as read, although Clnruititis and Johannes seemed quite unwilling to surrender their individual suvenignty, in trust, to the so oicty. This fear may have been prompted by the dread of punishment for past do. liiiqucncictt, as Ihu .sequel will show. Tho organization thus being completed, Ihc Kegina Mnilingly declared that tho class.meeliiig was open for the relation of experiences, and tho 'rnnmicliou of nooes miry business. Thoicupon Nestor arose and iiitimalcd lliat ho had it very painful duty to pcrfoim; in fact, ho had a very ucrious charge to inako against a brother. It appealed from his statement, that Jo hannes Arclilmides, during the late sum. iner vacation, had been guilty of an am orous escapade with a certain grangci damsel In truth, ho had become hopeless, ly entangled in tho meshes of her charms. Clarcntius was of the opinion that it was a violation of class dignity, for a senior thus to stoop to one benenth his sphere, and that the crime could on!) be expiated by severe penally. The Heirinn having sternly demanded of tho culprit, i bother ho pleadtd guilty or not guilty, Johannes sheepishly arose and amidst a profusion of blushes and stammers acknowledged tho Hofl impeachment; but, in characteris tic language, asked mercy, on tho plea that, ''She was a perfect polygon of beau ty,aparallelopipedonof accomplishments, rand of most rhoniboidal virtue.,, Bui tho unrelenting Alcitla immediately sontenctd him to a (Hot of garlic and beau poi ridge and to wear marrowfat peas in his boots for a week. Johannes begged a mitigation -of the punishment, because ho said," I did not do any damage the jado jilted mc." The merciless Minerva remained unmoved, and, with the vindlctlvcncssof Juno, com nuindod tho culprit to kneel at her feet, which ho did, This feat ho rattier seemed to enjoy, though a picture of humiliation. Minerva, then, in a voice, cold as tho flat of fate, tints addressed him: "Johannes Archimedes, erring brother, thy conduct hath pained and surprised us. Ho who is enthralled and fallcth through the inllu. once of external beauty merely, is pitta ble but not beyond the pale of hope and mercy. But did your offence stop hero? No I you not only fell but failed. Gieat Heavens, a senior jilted by a granger milkmaid 1 Sir, to stoop to such game is most ignoble, but to fail and lone the game is contemptible I Thcrefbic leceive our sovereign displeasure; go hence to-night and for a month expiate thy crime in soli tude with penitence and supplication, thy loins gird with sackcloth, a loops cap up on thy head, and lei thy dunk bo hash house tea, and thy meat Limberger cheese. Arise!" Tho fraternity was a little siir prhed at the severity of the Uogina. Ciar entius even whispered in the ear of Gor gias, that he believed that jealousy at Johannes flirtation, had made a very Juno of our Minerva; this idea, however, Gor ging scouted in derision. Gorgias hero arose and preferred a double charge against Nestor: First, lie had been guilty of most numerous and miscellaneous flrtations; that not a flow, or, even tho modest ' Daisy," could bloom upon our desert here, but he mint prema turely pick It; secondly, that to wear lluun'ing brunette chiuuurb, whereas the oilier three members t' the class cannot, is a mark of disrespect, therefore thoy should oil. Minerva decided that tlio first charge was valid, and t lint the penalty should bo rigid celibacy for a week. But, as to the second charge, she said she really did like a nice set o limnetic. chinuorsupon a man; that to her a beau without whiskers or a mustache, was like cold ham without catchup. Thcicforo the chaige, prompted as she supposed by the jealousy of the caiiiicd.strii berry-iniistached blonde, was malicious and illegal. Gorgias then staled tiial he had ficquonl ly of late been mistaken by some of the new Freshes for a Prep, and therefore ho thought steps should he taken to prevent biich abturd bluudeisin future; huncu lie moved that tlio following class badge be adopted, and worn in borne conspicuous place: Jlioc.nl senior; diywm ct honor tints. Johannes moved to amend, by al lowing him, as a Scientific, to have his motto translated Into Gorman Dionor iat ein toiler Aolfaie; or iHtmhraiamltch wuer dill vtwi, briijimh!" The motion and tho amendment wore unanimously adopted. All hands then joined In singing the usual doxology, tlio ohiiplain, Johauiios, lining the stanzas. THK HltNIUItH' DOXOfVotlY. Lot Hoplt and frwili hijiI furtive nron Anil hoUmiiii Junior too, Dig up Uruok nml I.at'n roots, An i tire thu iltli Imtli dny ami night, To drudge thulr lesson through: Hat oar work le o'or -were seniors now. For wo will Imvo oar llttlo run, And weofl ut toll mid troablu: Then l'ii guy and festive still And lot who wunl to, grnmblol OlIOllUH. O, we're n bund or fostlvo brothers, O, we're it band of foHllvo brothora, And a joll-t Hlntorn too. Wo'vo bid farewell to Julius, And Homer, Clc, niulTftC. Pinto nml father iKschylus, Demosthenes uad Xonohon, Wo'vo Inlii Ilium on thu nuk: For with thuso we're doiui we're seniors ndw. And wo will lmvo our llttlo fan, And tii banish cere we'll vow: We'll rmuhla, dunce, unit lmigh mid flirt, And let dull study unit OlIHItUS. O, we're n bund of festive brother, O. we're ii bund of festlfo brothcrp, And ii Joll-1 slstern too. Wo'vo gurgled Dtultthn nnd jiatlrz.voused, And stalled ourselves with physics, Loomls nnd stafi of tike nniiic, Wo'e Ian led them for euchre, Which Is ii prutliur gumo: And we'll nil tuko n lmnd we're eonlorn now. For we will Imvo our little fun, And we'll niiiku n hnppy row: Fill up thu gliiss, boys, till up Die glnes, girl, While thu giddy moments run I CI0IUI O, wo'ru a bnnil of festive brothers, 0, we're u blind of festive biothers, And ajoll-i slHtern too. But wo'vo ronped n lltt'i knowledge, We've onduied u little toll. We lmvo pained ondunrlng friendships, And we've drunk delightful plaiisiiruti While tlllli" wisdom's toll: And we'll not forget these Joys, though Bcnlors now. For life's wnr's before uu And thu buttle we must bide, Though si 111 true mid tender, Mow we'll let our trouble slide. ClIllllUH. Jotaniic: O, we're n bund of fostlo brothers, Gorrjla: 0, we're u bnnd of festhu brotherB, Senior: 0. we're u lmnd of lestho brothers, Alcltlu: And u Joll-1 slsiorn toot After the hist touching strain of the an. them had died away, the Ilcglna declared the meeting adjounud to tho Mb of Do. ceiuber. Minkiiva Ai.uitia, Gokoias Livius, Hegina liegna. Secretary. THE LOCAL AT W01UC AMONG OUR KXOIIANGES. Thoro iirulKiU Colleges in lite United States. A University costing $750,000 is to be built at London by tho Jews. "Ho queer," said a little girl whose mother was a blooming and rather fast young widow, "so queer keep having uirlh-dajs always just six years old I " An examination paper in chemistry has tho following: Sulphur has been known from remote antiquity, and will probably continue to bo known through out eternity. Uniocnity Herald. Tlio heat had a peculiar effect on that student, wiio returning home Into on the the night of the Fourth, carefully locked tho door, but found the next morning that he had forgotten to shut It first. lierke- I'yan. A bashful young clergyman, recently rising to preach for the first time, made a terrible mix of it, announced his text in this wise: "And immediately tho cock wept, and Peter wont out and crow bit 0fy."Tntlitute. ' Onlamitcs' is what the Professor want ed tlio class to answer when ho asked for the tribe that flourished in the paleozoic and mesozoic ages, but Mr. II. sang out "Qampbollitos," which by tho way beats oven Hay on "church susossIol." Dam' on Collegian. And now one of our irrepressible Ju niors translates: " Achl lebtest du noch, da Hchono Mnldl Ich vurdo dlch llobeu von d!oncr Zeltl " "jhl wert thou living still, thou beiiuteous maid, I might have loved thee by this timet " Denison Collegian. During tho recent revival In Coll j a Sophomore informed his chum of tho conversion of a mutual friend, whereupon the considerate young man exclaimed; "By jolly, I am glad of that, for now I can sell him my Ilible." Dickinsonian. A good deacon making an olllelal visit to a dying neighoor, who was a very clittr. lish and universally unpopular mui, puj tho usual question, "Arc you willing togo my friend v" " O.yes," said the sick mmi' " I am." " Well," said the simple minded deacon, " I am giad that you tire, for all tlio neighbors are willing." Ex. A wicked Soph took his lamp chim ney to a Professor and asked for an expla nation of a ring which had formed about four inches from tho upper end. The Pro fessor gave an hour's explanation about tlio effect of the flame on tho Inside nnd tlio temperature of the air on the outside, etc., etc. Tho Soph said no, he was mere ly cleaning the chimney and his finger would not reach any further, hence the ring was the division lino between the clean part and the dirty. Ex. A Chicago parson, who is also a teacher, handed a problem to his class In mathematics, the other day. First boj took it, looked at it awhile, and said: "I pass." Second boy look it, and said: "I turn it. down." The thitd buy stared at it awhile, and drawled out "I can't niako it." " Very good, boys," said tlio parson, " we will proceed to cut for a new deal"; and, with this remark, the leather strap danced like lightning over the shoulders of those deptaved young niathcninticiims. iSx. A ragged, forlorn-looking boy was strolling around a railroad depol, smoking the stub of a cigar, when a philanthropist in waiting for a train handidout ten cents, and remarked: "Take it, bub; Ifcilsotry for you." 'No yer don't!" exclaimed tho boy, drawing back. " Why, it's a free gift; I don't ask any tiling for it," replied tho man. "I know you," continued tho boy, his eyes twinkling , " , oil want me to promise to grow up and become President, and I ain't going to tio myfcelf up for any man's ten cents I " Dickens lias a scene in tlio celebrated trial of Uardell vh. Pickwick which amus ingly illuatrates tltc interchangeable use of v and to among tlio uneducated of England. Mr. Stun Weller is called to the witness htnnd, where tho following colloquy occurs: " What's your name, sir?" inquired tho judge. "Sam Weller, my lord," replied Hint gentleman. "Do you t-poll it with a For a IKr" In quired the judge. "That depends upon tho tasto and fancy of the speller, my lotd," replied Sam. "I nuvor had occasion to spell it more than onoo or twice in my life, but I spells it with a W." Hero a voice in tlio gallery exclaimed aloud: "Quite rigid, too, Samivel; quito right. Put it down with a wo, my lord; put it down with a ve." The voice of tno elder Weller, issuing from tlio gallery like the benediction of an approving angel, einbalma in its ex pression a simplo philological fact, nanip ly, that traces of ancient usage growu ob solete among the cultivated, may often bo found preserved umong tho ignorant. Ex. IP'BBlfrwiriiiiiiiiij
