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THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
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HESPERIAN STUDENT,
I'UIIMSIIKD MONTHLY HYTHL'
HESPEIUAN STUDENT PUBLISH.
1NG ASSOCIATION
ok Tin:
IVHISKASKA VXIVEKSITY.
Eonou-iN-cmi:-, . G. E. llnv.m.
Associate, - - Fannii-: Mr.TCAI.l
LOCAL, - - - "W. C. SlIOWALTKH.
J. 31. Iiiwin, Business Manager.
TERMS FOB SUBSCRIPTION.
1 copy per collide year
1 " six month-, . .
Single copy ....
$1.00.
0.50.
0.10.
TERMS OF ADVERTISING.
1 cnliiinii one insertion . $'1.00.
it squares " " 1.00.
1 " " " .:)5.
AJl nrticlu for imblk-ntlon should bonddruttiud
Krtltor IIk-pkiiian Stcimint. Slate Univorxtly,
Lincoln Xfbrnskn. All Milirrlinluns, with Ihe
midribs should bo fiil to the nui-liu'Cf Milliliter.
Subirlitloiis rolh'i'ti'd liiMiilnbly In ndviiuco.
AdM'itNi'inunts volloctod niontliU .
GAMBLING TALKS.
unities, resurrecting our Greek and Latin
authors, blowing the dust oil' the backs of
our lexicons, and twisting our lingual
UiGiube'r into frightful gyrations in vainly
attempting to ;wW: voun Frinwais and
sprcchen Sic Deutsche. Wo arc glad of it.
Let us roll up our sleeves and go at it
with a will. We have much to do, while
time is precious, and the golden oppotun
ity is AVic.
Of course you do not feci us refresh
ed as you would like, after two
months and n half's rest. WhyV Be
cause l lie lurid heat and scorching blasts
of this unprecedented summer in Ncbras
ka has wrought fearful havoc with your
anatomical systems. Bless me, some of
your physiognomies are as thin and peak
od as a convalescent shad's, after a lit of
the .jaundice! But those cool autumnal
zephyrs mid n little healthy mental and
physical exercise will make you thrive
again.
"We are all here!" All aboard for an
other three months' cruise in seas yot tin
known and unexplored, in search of do
lightful Terra Incognitas of knowledge!
"We are all heie" festive Prep, frisky
Fresh, complacent Soph, sedate and most
('eeoious .Junior, and your pardon!
Excuse our ibrget fulness ! Wo were about
to say something about our right-rcvor-end,
spectacled Seniors, but alas! wheie
nrolhiy? Why these vacant scats? Echo,
as usual in such cases, answers " where?"
and " why':" but refers us to the good peo
pic of North Platte, and to our granger
friends in general, for a more satisfactory
answer to our conundrum; therefore wo
recall the jubilant statement at the begin
nin.! of this sentence, borrowed from, Mr.
Hprague for poetic effect, and substitute
the doleful confession "We are not quite
all here."
Yes. sir, certalnlv we are stronger in
numbers than heretofore. The promising
family of our good Mamma, through the
Usual Intervention of Providence, has
"siill'i'icd" it notable increase. Among the
ranks of our frcshlos and props, both
masculine and feminine, Ave observe many
faces strange and hitherto unseen among
us. Welcome, ye new recruits!
" But has the number of students in.
creased as largely as you anticipated, from
the opening of the ' New Farm,' and the
institution of dormitories''" interrogates
Growler.
"Well, no. "We arc a little disappointed
in the increase, we admit.
" O, you are 'disappointed!' Bo so
kind as to explain the reason for this fall
ure, the people demand an explanation!"
continues Growlor, (up in Omaha, of
course).
In the language of Solomon (?) we re
ply " Go to the grasshopper, thou sluggard,
and bo wiso!"
But hold on a bit. "Wo Have switched
off the- track wo started in oi.. Like n
Mclhbdist revivalist, wo never could stick
to our text for throe consecutive' senten
ces ) ' U
If we remember rightly, we were about
to say something about the time's having
arrived for unearthing our musty mnthe-
How about the Literary Society? It's
all very well and extremely laudable for
you, my earnest friend of the genus "dig''
or "book-worm," to "knuckle down" to
the rigid substantial of 3-0111- college
course. Stuff your cranium with square
cornered, unleavened science, and musty
classic lore, as much as you please; but
is temporarily neglected.
TliesiiinKr.it is harder to describe he
has more shapes than Protitis. We will
picture two or three species for you, which
will lead you to detect the whole genus.
If a declamation is required, this sort of
tiling will not try to commit It until Fri
day afternoon. Of course it is then loo
late to prepare anythingnew, so he "looks
over an old one"" Spavticus' Speech to
the Gladiators." Now this identical,
grand, old piece he has butchered on ox
actly seventeen different occasions. In
lact he committed it when a little boy,
and has kept on committing and reciting
it ever since, and failed every time; fYr
if he is a true shirk, ho is sure to drone it
out to the tune of the "Old Hundredth"
while some fellow-moinbcr lines it for
him at irregular intervals.
We have known one or two cases where
the sufferers retaliated by conferring up
on their persecutors the lofty titles,
"Spartieus," or " Rionzi," as pseuilo pat.
ronyniies.
If an essay is required, a shirk will
a bore. The member who reiterate- n
single idea in a multitude of forms vmttl
it assumes ponderous proportions, whose
sweetness is entirely loo long drawn out
is of the same species. The beginner
who stammers, blushes, and blunders un.
til you feel as if you were sitting on n
cushion of first-class nettles, belongs, to
the same category. But we can endure
the bore. The Society is a hospital i
which his malady, by skillful treatment,
is generally cured. We have seen one or
two incurable cases.
If we have made our e'.nssi llo.itioncknr
you may now answer our question, unci
classify yourself accordingly.
(i
God bless tile ItUlicsT "Without the dour
girls what a cheerless, dreary waste wore
Ufo! Ah! eternal Sun, ah! everlasting
fh'ry Moon, what were your enkindling
rays or mild, sotil-inspiring beams, with,
out the soft radiance of woman's smile?
Wo hae always loved the girls, alas! we
fear too dearly for our spiritual welfare.
I hey have made a poly t heist of Us; nnhi
Society member:
in
..L-i, ...i.....aa.J.Umiu mMusanw.yssuu.m possessing a large membership of iniw
mightily like some article in his " Clnsl. ia(iies. Their rea-lings, and ossavs. and
cal Dictionary," or " Chambers' Encyclo- imis,C 1o use K.ir ,', SW(!U, ve ;,,,
pedin." 1 ho only originality he manifests ...... .. m.,r,,,v Hnle.w1i,l n..i ,. i.... ..
cnucKie wiin sausiaciion, to tiuiiK ne can ......i, ,, ,..,. .,, .ii..!,,!,,. .. ,
palm off some old, second-hand, class e. Why, we know not; but our 'adoration js
say, which his professor compelled him vcmny of the purest and mot utwUUi
to write, as a special effort. Your shirk ( character; for never in our life t ur
lias several admirable traits of character , ct.nlll unowki0) ,IMsJ a so,itan. ,,m. of
-prudence, economy, and cunning. lie ,e Ueli-htful c. eatu.es l..!.,.,i '. .1..
a . . . W ..-i-.mi 11 . ) iMi
depend upon it, you can get more real Doliovos in "Killing two lurds Willi one gk. gr.lt.jous s,ii0, in leturn for our al'
knowledge, even of this kind, into your stone." lie usually chooses souk- high- 0!:iunC(.
1 :i !... 1.11,. t... It.... ?Mimr1 inrr liimrr.mti u. ill m b ictiwiu1 timii . .
smil, 11 1101 imu.mii - iiuuuiu, uj shimmy , " '"'p ...-. ..,.... ..w. .v... '"r-v. iuil what WO Want to SUV is tills.
a goodly portion of each week 111 "society " "" ui&u.uihiuii. 11 is a peculiar Tl0 Adeliihian society is fortunate
worK, learning to utilize wnaiyou nave
learned, and allowing the broadened mind
a chance to plume its pinions for loftier
ilijrht.
J low many are going to work with zeal
for the society this term, with the dctormi
nation of making it a place of more than
usual interest, and profit? What part are
you going to phi- the Worker, the Shirk
er, the Nuisance, or the Bore?
Please define our terms? Certainly,
with infinite pleasure. Just glance at
this classification:
f Genus 1, Workers.
2, Shirkers,
y, Nuisances.
Mongrel, Bores.
The woiiKiui is an axiom, i. c, ho is a
self-evident proposition. "We seldom need
mistake him for a spurious article nor a
spurious article for him. Yet mistakes
do happen. A in Geometry, some fools
don't know an axiom when they see it,
and are continually trying to shirk a square
demonstration of a proposition by declar
ing it self-evident, which is neither the
fault of the axiom nor the proposition,
so with the case in hand.
The leading characteristics of the gen
uine worker are originality, individuality,
sincerity, and earnestness. lie may be
as odd as " Dick's hat-band," and as awk
ward as a pair of bars and yet bo genuine.
The worker always has his allotted part
ready, in his own peculiar style. He (or
she) is always "on hand" at every meet
ing, and will occasionally neglect a ball,
a festival, a party, a drive, a flirtation, or
other important afFuIr, for the welfare of
the society.
The worker will make n sacrifice for
his society. lie (or she) would as lief
pay $1.50 for a new picture for the hall
as to spend $2.r0 for cigars, gloves,
"switches" or cologne waior.
The worker don't complain, that ho has
no time to prepare Ho feels that it is his
duty and his most vital interest to tako
time for this work, even if something else
is in distorting his copy with his fright.
ful rhetoric, daubing it over with his
abominable syntax, and barbarous orthog.
raphy, and In disgusting the listener with
his execrable pronunciation of words, as
intelligible to him as the dialect of a
Kiekapoo warrior. Another pretty dodge
resorted to by very cute shirks, is to con.
trive, or borrow, a caricature, or humor
ous parody on an essay, of a dozen words
in length, and costing five minutes men
tal labor, and then to oflei it in lien of his
expected performance. Ho hopes to cheat
the society and hide his low cunning and
siniii lif.iiiiwi n... ., ,.,!.,.. i.;..i. i.: i... iv. '. '
" 1" . mmuiuiii. nave to meet and answer all great ques-
ery excites. A e pity the poor wretch! ,i0s of political as well as domestic
'Pliovmuumi II. ....1. IF,... ! .., ... ..
. ..v ., .o..r.,, wuuin. uumuii, is a rarer iummiy, in uio near luiurey Such are
why
suggestion we would like to make to them
with all due deference and humility.
Why not join in the debates also If
Bullions and Pinneo had not irrevocably
decided that such words can not be com
p.ireil, we would say, " that would be iwre
perfectly splendid still." Would not the
clashing of woman's wil, the trial of her
reasoning powers with man's, in pohini.
cal discourse, be mutually bcneliualY
Are we not here to educate our minds to
meet in common the great problems hk-li
after life wi 1 bring v Will not man and
woman, side by side, as novor in the past,
ri
yuiius. iieu 3011 see a young man or
woman attending society every evening,
apparently with the solo purpose of whis
poring, snickering, giggling and other.
the signs of the times. Then, ladles, vl
not associate together In acquiring all
kinds of knowledge?
jjo 1101 lor a moment iniaidne that we
ir.:.,:!...:!'":' t??. .. u -m-. ,
whose style does not exactly suit him, 01
her, you may conclude that you have
"spotted" n nuisance. If, upon further
inquiry, you should find that the thimj in
question never works for the society itself,
and that the persons it annoys are among
the utaunchost, most sensible members,
though, perhaps, a little prosy, then you
may be morally sure you've treed the right
bird.
Your nuisance criticises and maligns
the literary standing of every worker. Is
he afraid of retaliation? Bless you, no.
He has no literary standing or reputation
to be destroyed .
The boku is a mongrel, because he par
takes of the nature of the worker, tho
shirker, and the nuisance. He is a sort of
a batrnchiun, who changes his form by
the process of natural development, and
often comes out at last a genuine, earnest
worker. The man who tires you by long,
dull speeches, but often full of thought, is
should come off victorious from such a
cambat. Ah ! no, we would not hope that;
wo are in search of conquerors, not vic
tims, and, then, methinks 'twould be pass
ing sweet thus to shift this mortal coil.
We could kiss the hands that dealt meet
chastisement for our temerity, and then
' Fold our tout, like the Arab,
And na silently stunl uwiry,"
into blessed oblivion. We trust the In
dies will take on. suggestion kindly, and
consider it favorably,
Neither Salt Creek nor the Antelope of
for the most excellent advantages for boat
ing. Indeed we feel quite confident that
Nast will never vilify the students of the
Nebraska University with caricatures of
the inordinate development of their bi
ceps, on this score. Well, there is no use
wailing over this. Make the most of cir
cumstances, which arc uotso bad after all
If water is scarce for arm-devolopment
fs-"g'n J L'LU""M
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