...J..JJ'P)!JW,W'.' 4 THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. III Mjrt jj'"' a 4 ,' (r hi 1 HESPERIAN STUDENT, I'UIIMSIIKD MONTHLY HYTHL' HESPEIUAN STUDENT PUBLISH. 1NG ASSOCIATION ok Tin: IVHISKASKA VXIVEKSITY. Eonou-iN-cmi:-, . G. E. llnv.m. Associate, - - Fannii-: Mr.TCAI.l LOCAL, - - - "W. C. SlIOWALTKH. J. 31. Iiiwin, Business Manager. TERMS FOB SUBSCRIPTION. 1 copy per collide year 1 " six month-, . . Single copy .... $1.00. 0.50. 0.10. TERMS OF ADVERTISING. 1 cnliiinii one insertion . $'1.00. it squares " " 1.00. 1 " " " .:)5. AJl nrticlu for imblk-ntlon should bonddruttiud Krtltor IIk-pkiiian Stcimint. Slate Univorxtly, Lincoln Xfbrnskn. All Milirrlinluns, with Ihe midribs should bo fiil to the nui-liu'Cf Milliliter. Subirlitloiis rolh'i'ti'd liiMiilnbly In ndviiuco. AdM'itNi'inunts volloctod niontliU . GAMBLING TALKS. unities, resurrecting our Greek and Latin authors, blowing the dust oil' the backs of our lexicons, and twisting our lingual UiGiube'r into frightful gyrations in vainly attempting to ;wW: voun Frinwais and sprcchen Sic Deutsche. Wo arc glad of it. Let us roll up our sleeves and go at it with a will. We have much to do, while time is precious, and the golden oppotun ity is AVic. Of course you do not feci us refresh ed as you would like, after two months and n half's rest. WhyV Be cause l lie lurid heat and scorching blasts of this unprecedented summer in Ncbras ka has wrought fearful havoc with your anatomical systems. Bless me, some of your physiognomies are as thin and peak od as a convalescent shad's, after a lit of the .jaundice! But those cool autumnal zephyrs mid n little healthy mental and physical exercise will make you thrive again. "We are all here!" All aboard for an other three months' cruise in seas yot tin known and unexplored, in search of do lightful Terra Incognitas of knowledge! "We are all heie" festive Prep, frisky Fresh, complacent Soph, sedate and most ('eeoious .Junior, and your pardon! Excuse our ibrget fulness ! Wo were about to say something about our right-rcvor-end, spectacled Seniors, but alas! wheie nrolhiy? Why these vacant scats? Echo, as usual in such cases, answers " where?" and " why':" but refers us to the good peo pic of North Platte, and to our granger friends in general, for a more satisfactory answer to our conundrum; therefore wo recall the jubilant statement at the begin nin.! of this sentence, borrowed from, Mr. Hprague for poetic effect, and substitute the doleful confession "We are not quite all here." Yes. sir, certalnlv we are stronger in numbers than heretofore. The promising family of our good Mamma, through the Usual Intervention of Providence, has "siill'i'icd" it notable increase. Among the ranks of our frcshlos and props, both masculine and feminine, Ave observe many faces strange and hitherto unseen among us. Welcome, ye new recruits! " But has the number of students in. creased as largely as you anticipated, from the opening of the ' New Farm,' and the institution of dormitories''" interrogates Growler. "Well, no. "We arc a little disappointed in the increase, we admit. " O, you are 'disappointed!' Bo so kind as to explain the reason for this fall ure, the people demand an explanation!" continues Growlor, (up in Omaha, of course). In the language of Solomon (?) we re ply " Go to the grasshopper, thou sluggard, and bo wiso!" But hold on a bit. "Wo Have switched off the- track wo started in oi.. Like n Mclhbdist revivalist, wo never could stick to our text for throe consecutive' senten ces ) ' U If we remember rightly, we were about to say something about the time's having arrived for unearthing our musty mnthe- How about the Literary Society? It's all very well and extremely laudable for you, my earnest friend of the genus "dig'' or "book-worm," to "knuckle down" to the rigid substantial of 3-0111- college course. Stuff your cranium with square cornered, unleavened science, and musty classic lore, as much as you please; but is temporarily neglected. TliesiiinKr.it is harder to describe he has more shapes than Protitis. We will picture two or three species for you, which will lead you to detect the whole genus. If a declamation is required, this sort of tiling will not try to commit It until Fri day afternoon. Of course it is then loo late to prepare anythingnew, so he "looks over an old one"" Spavticus' Speech to the Gladiators." Now this identical, grand, old piece he has butchered on ox actly seventeen different occasions. In lact he committed it when a little boy, and has kept on committing and reciting it ever since, and failed every time; fYr if he is a true shirk, ho is sure to drone it out to the tune of the "Old Hundredth" while some fellow-moinbcr lines it for him at irregular intervals. We have known one or two cases where the sufferers retaliated by conferring up on their persecutors the lofty titles, "Spartieus," or " Rionzi," as pseuilo pat. ronyniies. If an essay is required, a shirk will a bore. The member who reiterate- n single idea in a multitude of forms vmttl it assumes ponderous proportions, whose sweetness is entirely loo long drawn out is of the same species. The beginner who stammers, blushes, and blunders un. til you feel as if you were sitting on n cushion of first-class nettles, belongs, to the same category. But we can endure the bore. The Society is a hospital i which his malady, by skillful treatment, is generally cured. We have seen one or two incurable cases. If we have made our e'.nssi llo.itioncknr you may now answer our question, unci classify yourself accordingly. (i God bless tile ItUlicsT "Without the dour girls what a cheerless, dreary waste wore Ufo! Ah! eternal Sun, ah! everlasting fh'ry Moon, what were your enkindling rays or mild, sotil-inspiring beams, with, out the soft radiance of woman's smile? Wo hae always loved the girls, alas! we fear too dearly for our spiritual welfare. I hey have made a poly t heist of Us; nnhi Society member: in ..L-i, ...i.....aa.J.Umiu mMusanw.yssuu.m possessing a large membership of iniw mightily like some article in his " Clnsl. ia(iies. Their rea-lings, and ossavs. and cal Dictionary," or " Chambers' Encyclo- imis,C 1o use K.ir ,', SW(!U, ve ;,,, pedin." 1 ho only originality he manifests ...... .. m.,r,,,v Hnle.w1i,l n..i ,. i.... .. cnucKie wiin sausiaciion, to tiuiiK ne can ......i, ,, ,..,. .,, .ii..!,,!,,. .. , palm off some old, second-hand, class e. Why, we know not; but our 'adoration js say, which his professor compelled him vcmny of the purest and mot utwUUi to write, as a special effort. Your shirk ( character; for never in our life t ur lias several admirable traits of character , ct.nlll unowki0) ,IMsJ a so,itan. ,,m. of -prudence, economy, and cunning. lie ,e Ueli-htful c. eatu.es l..!.,.,i '. .1.. a . . . W ..-i-.mi 11 . ) iMi depend upon it, you can get more real Doliovos in "Killing two lurds Willi one gk. gr.lt.jous s,ii0, in leturn for our al' knowledge, even of this kind, into your stone." lie usually chooses souk- high- 0!:iunC(. 1 :i !... 1.11,. t... It.... ?Mimr1 inrr liimrr.mti u. ill m b ictiwiu1 timii . . smil, 11 1101 imu.mii - iiuuuiu, uj shimmy , " '"'p ...-. ..,.... ..w. .v... '"r-v. iuil what WO Want to SUV is tills. a goodly portion of each week 111 "society " "" ui&u.uihiuii. 11 is a peculiar Tl0 Adeliihian society is fortunate worK, learning to utilize wnaiyou nave learned, and allowing the broadened mind a chance to plume its pinions for loftier ilijrht. J low many are going to work with zeal for the society this term, with the dctormi nation of making it a place of more than usual interest, and profit? What part are you going to phi- the Worker, the Shirk er, the Nuisance, or the Bore? Please define our terms? Certainly, with infinite pleasure. Just glance at this classification: f Genus 1, Workers. 2, Shirkers, y, Nuisances. Mongrel, Bores. The woiiKiui is an axiom, i. c, ho is a self-evident proposition. "We seldom need mistake him for a spurious article nor a spurious article for him. Yet mistakes do happen. A in Geometry, some fools don't know an axiom when they see it, and are continually trying to shirk a square demonstration of a proposition by declar ing it self-evident, which is neither the fault of the axiom nor the proposition, so with the case in hand. The leading characteristics of the gen uine worker are originality, individuality, sincerity, and earnestness. lie may be as odd as " Dick's hat-band," and as awk ward as a pair of bars and yet bo genuine. The worker always has his allotted part ready, in his own peculiar style. He (or she) is always "on hand" at every meet ing, and will occasionally neglect a ball, a festival, a party, a drive, a flirtation, or other important afFuIr, for the welfare of the society. The worker will make n sacrifice for his society. lie (or she) would as lief pay $1.50 for a new picture for the hall as to spend $2.r0 for cigars, gloves, "switches" or cologne waior. The worker don't complain, that ho has no time to prepare Ho feels that it is his duty and his most vital interest to tako time for this work, even if something else is in distorting his copy with his fright. ful rhetoric, daubing it over with his abominable syntax, and barbarous orthog. raphy, and In disgusting the listener with his execrable pronunciation of words, as intelligible to him as the dialect of a Kiekapoo warrior. Another pretty dodge resorted to by very cute shirks, is to con. trive, or borrow, a caricature, or humor ous parody on an essay, of a dozen words in length, and costing five minutes men tal labor, and then to oflei it in lien of his expected performance. Ho hopes to cheat the society and hide his low cunning and siniii lif.iiiiwi n... ., ,.,!.,.. i.;..i. i.: i... iv. '. ' " 1" . mmuiuiii. nave to meet and answer all great ques- ery excites. A e pity the poor wretch! ,i0s of political as well as domestic 'Pliovmuumi II. ....1. IF,... ! .., ... .. . ..v ., .o..r.,, wuuin. uumuii, is a rarer iummiy, in uio near luiurey Such are why suggestion we would like to make to them with all due deference and humility. Why not join in the debates also If Bullions and Pinneo had not irrevocably decided that such words can not be com p.ireil, we would say, " that would be iwre perfectly splendid still." Would not the clashing of woman's wil, the trial of her reasoning powers with man's, in pohini. cal discourse, be mutually bcneliualY Are we not here to educate our minds to meet in common the great problems hk-li after life wi 1 bring v Will not man and woman, side by side, as novor in the past, ri yuiius. iieu 3011 see a young man or woman attending society every evening, apparently with the solo purpose of whis poring, snickering, giggling and other. the signs of the times. Then, ladles, vl not associate together In acquiring all kinds of knowledge? jjo 1101 lor a moment iniaidne that we ir.:.,:!...:!'":' t??. .. u -m-. , whose style does not exactly suit him, 01 her, you may conclude that you have "spotted" n nuisance. If, upon further inquiry, you should find that the thimj in question never works for the society itself, and that the persons it annoys are among the utaunchost, most sensible members, though, perhaps, a little prosy, then you may be morally sure you've treed the right bird. Your nuisance criticises and maligns the literary standing of every worker. Is he afraid of retaliation? Bless you, no. He has no literary standing or reputation to be destroyed . The boku is a mongrel, because he par takes of the nature of the worker, tho shirker, and the nuisance. He is a sort of a batrnchiun, who changes his form by the process of natural development, and often comes out at last a genuine, earnest worker. The man who tires you by long, dull speeches, but often full of thought, is should come off victorious from such a cambat. Ah ! no, we would not hope that; wo are in search of conquerors, not vic tims, and, then, methinks 'twould be pass ing sweet thus to shift this mortal coil. We could kiss the hands that dealt meet chastisement for our temerity, and then ' Fold our tout, like the Arab, And na silently stunl uwiry," into blessed oblivion. We trust the In dies will take on. suggestion kindly, and consider it favorably, Neither Salt Creek nor the Antelope of for the most excellent advantages for boat ing. Indeed we feel quite confident that Nast will never vilify the students of the Nebraska University with caricatures of the inordinate development of their bi ceps, on this score. Well, there is no use wailing over this. Make the most of cir cumstances, which arc uotso bad after all If water is scarce for arm-devolopment fs-"g'n J L'LU""M Wf. 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