THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
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OUR COIiLBOB NEWS.
Botanical specimens nru in demand
huiid 'em in.
Fishino and limiting occupy tlio lime
and talents of some of the preps.
Spuing lias conic in all her verdant
beauty, and the students are happy.
Tun amount of mathematics scudded
over by the sophs during the last three
months is tremendous.
Tun campus is assuming a gay and fes
tive appearance, under the skillful man
agement of our worthy Janitor.
Tuiiouuu the energy of its ellioient
chorister, the Adelphian society has been
furnished with good music tills term.
The semi-annual school fund to be dis
tributed among t lies various districts of
the state, this Spring, is over $107,000.
So.uk of the preps contemplate com
mencing the study of "common sense
addition." Right, boys, success is only
gained by continuous effort.
A fresh, who has been courting the mu
ses for sometime, has become disgusted
and declares that in the future he will
court something more substantial. Sen
sible conclusion.
Fink auto. The need of a gymnasium
for the cultivation of the physical powers
is keenly felt by all the students. Some
of the boys resort to climbing around the
building.
Tun number of children in the state
between the ages of " and 21 years, who
are entitled to a share of the common
school fund, is now 72,1)001. Increase
over last year about 10,400.
Somk of the students pride themselves
on their freethinking proclivities and
quote " Sam" Paine very glibly. Do not
change Panic's name, boys, ii has served
him so long, let it serve him still.
A senior lately found leisure to call up
on his duleinea. The young huly, for some
motive not explained, entertained him in
the dining-room. Senior enjoyed it, but
will not call again for some time.
Recitation in Botany :
Prof.: Of what species is this flower V
Student: (with some indecision,) I I
think it is Struggleus chokyarinus.
Student gits down in some confusion.
The seniors, unable to bear the press
ure, have been excused from duty in so
oioty for the rest of the term. They
say they want some leisure time in order
to cultivate the society of the ladies. Cer
tainly, gentlemen.
Each society proposes to give an enter
t linmcut at the close of the term. As
they linvc begun thus early, there is every
reason to hope that cacli one will be full'
prepared with his part and make these
entertainments as pleasant as possible.
Hokne in the campus: Sudden ap
pcarancc of a rabbit and, in close prox
imity to said rabbit, a long-legged cur.
.straining every nerve to gain an interview
dog stopped rabbit had such an impc
tus unable to stop escaped the ond.
The Palladian society is enjoying a de
grco of prosperity this term, only gained
by the energy and thorough preparation
of its members. The beautiful hull is us
ually crowded with visitors, -who seem
well satisfied witli the entertainment they
receive.
We have to contend -against the world
the flesh and the devil, remarked a pious
fresh, in a thoughtful manner, and then,
casting his eloquent eye around foronie
nook of escape, entered the clns room
and informed the Prof, he was unprepar
ed to recite in differentiation.
Ql'KHY.
-Is there no law to protect a
An energetic prep has been engaged in
selling a book of some sort, it makes no
dilVerence what however. That he is
ranidlv losing flesh is evident to all he
holders. Now whether this is became of
...1. ..11...H it t.iiiinlf himliiu (Ymh
student from the raids of book agents, .remote, ... ...,., .. ... .,-.. .
C "dlin-UHHii', is not iiriniini-i,
mid is it possible to oniov religion lis ' (,X(,t's'
l.w ..; tlw.tr .M n11itim1 In rim ill liiririiV i K1MI1.
I'HIg l ill J tuv; uiiwuvm iw iii( in. j...,-. .
If any one lias a suggestion to make that
will rid the world of this class of Individ
unls, he has an opportunity to immortal
ize himself. Who comes first?
Chivai.hv Revived. Two freshmen
have recently been reading Don Quixote
they pronounce it Don Coyote-ami lia
become so enthusiastic over his nuirvol
ous adventures, that they think strong
of emulating his achievement-.. In r,u)
they have dubbed themselves rcsprctiu'h
that lie or. won ijuimiic imu oiiuciio rnn.a
lie vows The Don. employs Suncho in art in -
ronstantly, he is making money, but t love billets to his duleinea who lius rip
thinks there should be a limit to all things posite, and has piomised in return t..
lie proposes to quit soon. ! make him emperor out an island in Sail
There is a rumor
ensionallv catches a tartar
Tun seniors recently met for the pur- Ten sturdy fre,hmen, headed by our
Creek.
. . . . ,.....,,. i i
nose of tellinir their niiiiiv friends what stiHwari local cui.or, waiaco six urn. ...
, . 7. , ........ ....i . i. :' inili' inline ilir nlliM' rlnv In " ro m swim-
tney iikgu in u.e suapc oi vicu.a.s. .i , ; ,-"";' , r ., lirmor lin,i i.eitriUu his respective d.mk,v
1)111 I 10 silrKlllir iriiuiw.s im oiiii,
Take in your windmills, folks, Willie
and Frankie will each soon gird on hit
.. . .1.... .1 1...1 !.. llllllIT" III
neeu.ess io say inai u.oy sueeeem-u """.""", - ". ' and Rosiuanto!
thoroughly interesting the auilience, and v.iueu . iw. un..-. .. .... .. ...,..,.,-
they themselves became exceedingly well 'of Uc intrepid leader. He said lieguess- Tw() sonio,.s mirA nmi ,.()1U u,
satisfied with the result. Sutllce it to say 1 he'd practice a little liefore be wont, rrh.h. landlady ,-0C(.nv discovered a lol.
near the water anyiiow. lie solemnly lk, ()f Vr(.nch brandy uip'er the pillow of
averred Mint, he'd bc-woll-if he'd lur- ,,n,nr No. one, and a bottle of gin uiuler
nisha local, by drowning himself, ,ual of x. tw, whereupon ensm-d tiie
nuiivC some ouier euss niuiioi iiu : nu iiui c0iow Jnir dialogue:
that they went home in a pleasant Irani" j war the water anyhow
of mind.
That student was slightly abashed the
other day when a friend handed him one erchp,, hims(.lf Mmn . lmnk alll, sim
" I.ut cures like n wild ileluj;o comu, Ac."
Anomalous Friendship. Wo h.ive
witnessed many strange freaks in the se
lection of friends anion": animals. We
T
have heard about the lion and the lamb,
lying down in peace together; but here
comes a case which is almost too much!
for our credulity one of our inostoxquis-,
ite seniors has fallen from his exalted .
sphere, and is lavishing his platouic allee-,
of his communications which student
No. one had dropped carelessly. Of
course there is only one way of account
ing for his confusion, and that is, that
some fair is endeavoring to teacli him
composition of a most difllcult and pleas
ing character epluribun unum.
Aituou day was duly observed by pro.
fesors and students, and the result is
highly satisfactory. About one hundred
and fifty trees were planted; a large num-, lions on an intermediate department
her of them being native trees, there school girl ! lie has hired a small boy
seems to be no reason why they should to act Cupid in transmitting hi mceet neat
Landlady : (to M:iior No. rue.) Is it
possible, Sir-JArd you use that vile bran
dy as a beverage in my house?
Sen. No. one: O no, Madam, my li
sician lias prescribed it for the rheuma
tism!
Landlady: (to senior No. two.) Ami
pray, Sir, what use do you make of gin?
Sen. No. two: Why, 1-1 take it inter
niilly for corns!
Hasp. Ham.. The students are taking'
an unusual degree of interest in this ath
letic sport the present term. On Satur-
not grow. Our beautiful campus only . ted messages. We haven't learned wheth-; ,jay jUIH. (jti, , u match -'nine was plaved
needs this adornment to make it the most er xho is old enough to write yet or not. j i,v (i,L. lwo professional clubs of the 1'ni
attractive college ground in tlic west. sVMI.ATY j8 a ooli tliin--. as one fi v'eristy the .Missioiuules and the Little
Gkxiuh COMPMMKNTKO.-Asenior, who tho students is able to testify from actual j Lninlte-tlic gnme co.n.nencing at three
prides himself considerablv on his come- experience. Living next door to a most ," ! '" M "' 11
I i .1 i i i estlinable voiuiLr ladv he ns n mutter nf he Alissioiianes first on the ground, Uls-
ly appearance and flourishing " cliiners," tsiunaoit jouiife inu in, as a mauti " b
.-,' .1- 0rt,i i ? eour.se. made it a point to do the areea- M throughout the game a marelmi
lULlU'M till WIILU u ,l llltlll Kill w i n- ii ti j
public gathering. Subsequently, while M0- Uiifortunatoly said young lady, in
discussing her latest "catch" with anoth- ,,ie discliarge of her domestic duties, lost
cr. she exclaimed: "Well of course he from one of her digits a large piece of
isn't handsome. buUhon be is no smnvtV ' cullclo. The news of this accident com-
He has since removed his hirsute ap
pendage in disgust.
ing to tliis gallant student's ears, he seix.ed
in wild alarm a bottle of sweet oil, a hot
lie of arnica, and n partial bottle of ben-
The Rev. Mr. Sanborn delivered an ex zinc and repnred to the scene of the acci-
cellent sermon at the Opera House, on
Sunday evening, May 24th. His manner
of treating the subject chosen appeared
eminently fitting. Religion at home, in
the street, and in tho church, was shown
up in colors, plain and striking. There
is something refreshing in hearing genu
ine common sense, from the pulpit, in
this age of fanaticism.
ad-Ac.
The Adelphian society is prosperous,
and the members evidently mean business.
By a vote of the society, it was determin
ed to include in the programme for this
term, nn original oration. Several mom
hers have already entertained the society
with these original productions. The
idea is a good one, and, if only carried
out, there seems to be no reason why it
should not be a success.
"WlfV ln llin ciliirti'a inl .. 1..1. I
childlike and, at the same time, so bland.
Tlioy are as staid and dignified asdoacons
of an orthodox church, externaly of
course, but a peep behind the scenes:
Tho private room of two of tho seniors ;
each, divested of his coat, is mixing a
glass of 'alf and 'air, and their melodious
voices fill the room as they sing "begone
dull care" but he is a savage who would
disturb a sccno or such Innocence draw
the screen. -
dent. Tho young lady recovered.
Time Sunday.
Scene University building.
Dhamatis Peiionae Two holies,
miring the beautiful campus fcc.
mostly fcc.
Atitude The Iiell No. 1, a brunette,
with tine pair of whiskers, seated in n
window; the belle No. 2, also a brunette
no whiskers seated in lap of Bell No.
I.
Conclusion Both, evidently alarmed,
are frantically trying to keep each other
from falling to pieces, while they prudent
ly swap gum. (Spectators highly enter,
tained.)
Scene students' sleoping npartment,
occupied by a senior, and a fresh who has
recently succumbed to the crusaders, and
signed the pledge.
Senior produces a bottle or brandy,
bought for medical (V) purposes, stealthi
ly approaches fresh, supposed to bo asleep,
and pours the fluid into his sweet unsus-
peeling mouth.
Fresh sufl'orud about twenty-five awnl.
lows to bo forced down his throat, when
he suddenly awakes, and exclaims in a
tone of injured innocence: "What mean
ness to unpoau on a temperance man, and
make him break his pledge when asle.ep!"
degree of physical endurance, and, as the
sequel showed, took the Little Lamb
within the fold. The game throughout
was a rare display of those two excellent
virtues, piety and gentleness. The Mi"
sionarlcs demonstrating the fact that there
is such a thing as muscular Christianity,
and the Little Lambs proving just as con
clusively that immense power may lie
combined with apparent gentleness. The
occasion was of suflicicnt interest to draw
an immense crowd.
PERSONAL.
W. P. Roads Is engaged in various mut
ters and not attending school this term.
Luther Kuhlmau has assumed the du
ties of pedagogue at Ponca, Dixon coun
ty. T. II. Worley, compelled by ill health
to leave school, is rusticating at Valpar
aiso the scene of his youthful sports.
G. A. Watson, a former student or tl c
University, has been visiting his " friends"
in eastern Iowa. Who is she George?
William J. Patterson has left school
and returned to his father's house, but lie
returned not as tho prodigal we read of in
ancient History.
Prof. .1. E. Anderson, a personage not
unknown to fame, has visited us. and
shown some common sense, as applied to
addition. Call again, Prof.
James Stockam visited the scenes of
Ills struggles and triumphs last week.
Will return to the University next year.
Jim looks as thin as a shad.
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