I O
I THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. 7
1 MMIMMMlWMMMaWWBWMMWWW""""""""""""""'''"j11
I CHAT WITH EXCHANGES.
A student wishes to purchase some
midnight oW.Hcrkelcyan. Wouhl'n't a
little dny-llghtoil do just as well V
The Ventral Colleyi"n Is a great help in
making up a spicy paper, but we think
its typographical appearance could be
improved by disposing of that "fancy"
head letter; "but of course, every man to
his own HkinV
Let's have a Presbyterian pr ifcssor and
see if that won't hem Chronicle. We
haven't the slightest idea as to what is
meant, but it calls to mind the fact that
all we arc in need of is a representative
from the Navy (Baptist) Department.
MEDICAL SlVDKNT AT THE DlNNKH
Taiili:. Well, llrst there's the mnstiea
llon, then, If the asophagus bo sulUclent.
y lubricated, the consequence is degluti
tion. Fieshman turns pale and gasps for
br a h.J)alhousie Gozelte. What did the
rest do and did the Medic live?
The November number of the Virginia
Uniccsity Mayaz-'nc regrets their inability
to present a better appearance typographi
eally and externally. To this, the Jlerkel
cyan says : " Cheer up boys ! Better good
wine in bad bottles than bad wine in
good ones." Your words of cheer are
certainly commendable.
Those students who received a box of
cotton from some young ladles, arc total.
ly at a loss to know what they intended
to do witn It. Will they please inform
hem Westminster Monthly. "What who
intended to do with It? "We Infer that the
editor wants to know what ths ladles in
tended to do with it provided they had
not sent it to the young men. But if that
Is what he intended, he must have " lace"
enough for a life insurance agent.
Unhooked. A young lady had coquet
ted until the victim was completely ex
hausted, lie arose to go away. She
whispered, as she accompanied him to
the door, "I shall be at home next Sun
day evening." "So shall I," lie replied.
Ex. Pshaw! he's no man at all! .What
would ho do with six " previous en
gagenients" to one entertainment! That
was the experience of one of our boys,
but when asked if he was not a Utile bit
mad, said: no, that's nothing.
OTIIEH COLLEGES.
A Soph translates "cantabltor," " can't
I bite her." Oeyser.
Brurtis asked Ctesar how many eggs he
had eaten that day. Ciusar replied: "Et
tit, Jinite." Brutus got mad because Cte
Mir culled him a brute; seized a knife,
and stabbed him quite dead. Ex.
An Essex Street man bought a pig Sat
unlay. "What do you feed your plgV"
asked a neighbor. "Coin," he said. "Do
you feed it in the car?" "Do you think
I'm a fool V said the Essex Street man
sareasiiely. Central Collegian.
If there is anything that rejoices the
heart of a Freshman St is the llrst appear
ance of sprouts on his upper lip. We
have known an expectant Fresh grow
squint wliile watoliing for it. His eha-
grin may be imagined when, after having
asked his " Molly dearest, don't you think
my moustache is becoming V" she replied,
" Well, it may be coming, but it has not
yet arrived," 1'aryum.
A college genius received a valentine,
on which was Inscribed in a fair feminine
land, these suggestive words: "Seek and
ye shall Hud." The quotation was made
doubly significant by the presence of a
Hue-tooth comb, which accompanied the
missive. Westminster Monthly.
Not all the ablest men in Congress are
college men. While Logan, Butler, Pome
roy, Connor, and Voorhecs, represent the
Alumni of as many colleges, such men
as Trumbull, Poland, Bayard, Conkling,
Sherman, Thurmaii and Edmunds never
received the benefit of college training.
Ex.
There is one Senior who evidently be
lieves In a Divine Providence. Before
going into a very poorly prepared recita
tion at the close of the term, he was heard
to remark: Well, I'll have to trust in
God and sit by Stillman,"and then added
parenthetically, "guess the last Idea Is by
far the hus."Rerkcli'yan.
A junior, who had been troubled all
the week by the importunities of his
washwoman, was disturbed in his sleep
by the malignant, moniaeal howls of a
discontented cat, and rolling over in his
bed ho muttered, "I'm dead broke now,
but Pm uxncctini; a remittance from
home every day, and when it comes I'll
settle, so now let up old woman." Chron
icle. A landlady on York Street gave a spread
to her new Freshman boarders. On the
tabic were all the indelicacies of the sea
son. A meinour 01 ine incoming cia&s
from tho West reached for an olive, turned
it over and iinally tasted. He then
skimmed oil' to the window, relieved his
mouth of a pickle, and cautiously beck
oned to the aforesaid landlady to meet
him in the hall. Then, with a facial ex
pression denoting disgust, he quietly re-
marked: "Mrs Urown, I do not wish to
destroy the hilarity of the party, but that
cuss from New Jersey has put acid on
the plumbs. Record.
Some of the smaller Southern colleges
are assuming their former positions as ed
ucational centers, with every promise of
future prosperity. Among these may be
named Davidson College, in North Car
olina, which appears to be supplanting
the old University of the State at Chapel
Hill. H has now one hundred and fif
teen students, a larger number than in
any previous year. As for the proposed
Central University of Kentucky, over the
location of which there has been no little
wrangling, it is now definitely decided to
establish It at the town of Richmond.
Great things are hoped for it when com
pleted. Ex.
A medio at the Camille Verso(translat
ed, high-toned concert) was seen listen
lug very intently to one of the Italian Op
eras. He learned far forward and extem
porized n third good sized ear directly
under his noso. When the last tone of
the singers had died away, and tho usual
amount of cheering had been done, he
turned to his girl and said In ft philoso
phising strain: "I didn't catch all the
words to that, and I think Its come to bo
a great fault with singers now-a-days,
that they don't speak tho words distinct
ly enough. It's the sentiment of a song
that catches my oyo when 1 hear it." Tho
girl: "Just so," and the medio was
serene. Chronicle.
STUDENTS DIRECTORY.
Ilallel Is the University jeweler.
For a picture try Young & Chase.
To fit up your, room call on Davis.
Go fo Devereaux's for a good cigar.
T. C. Kern pulls teeth without pain.
If you are sick, send for Dr. Gibson.
Monteith gels up a neat fitting boot.
Cline is the man to lake your picture.?.
Forcoal and wood go to Van Fossen.
Go to Hnrlows for a good dish of oysters.
M.Harris recommends all dental work.
Splendid assortment of new books at
Elliott k Turner's.
II. AV. Hardy sells furniture to Univer
sity boys at a discount.
The old reliable firm of Leighton .Vs
Brown, for drugs and books.
Batchelors and married students should
buy bread at the Steam Bakery.
For knives, and batchclor articles gen
erally, call on Parker & Lansing.
J. L. McConnell is the man to whom the
girls ought to go for their dry goods.
The National Meat Market is still con
ducted by J3ullis & Harris. Try them.
All desiring to be entertained in llrst
class style should call at the Commercial.
Bohanau Bros, arc running old the mar
ket in one of the neatest markets bi the
West.
W. L. Kidd ifc Co., sell boots and shoes
to ministers, professors and students at
five per cent. off.
Horwitz & Davidson, east side of Mar
ket Square, deal in dry goods, etc. oilers
special inducements to students.
Patronize David May, the University
clothier. May does more for the Student
than any business man in the city.
Henry McClurc keeps a complete as
sortment of hats, cans, and "rents furnish
ing goods. It is to the interest of students
to call.
Students will please remember that the
First National, and Bowkcr, Kennard s
Co,, bankers, patronize our paper and
return the favor.
F. W. Hohmann deals in carpets, sta
ple and fancy dry goods, also dealer ill
musical merchandise. Special induce
ments offered to students.
We publish in this number, an adver
tisement of the State Noinial School at
Peru. We hope our students -will always
speak a kind word for that school.
K, IIALMTI',
DKALKlt IN
a old ami Sliver Watches
JEWELRY, SI LVER-WARIC,
SPECTACLES, CUTLEHY, Ac.
31 13 It I C A X W A T J H E S
AT KACTOUY l'ltH'KR.
A Fine Selection of the
CELEIJHATKD SETII THOMAS CLOCKS
V.'r.tchoB, Clocks and Jewelry repaired by ex
urienced workman. Eimravlni: neatly oxeeuted.
liomembur the '.ilncn HALLE'lT'S,
') struct, between lot li mid 11th. mnitli nldo.
V. W. IIOIIMANN,
Dealer In
CAHIVKTS AND OIL-CLOTIIS
STAPLE AND FANCY )UY GOODS
S .v,
8PECIAI INDUCEMENTS TO. STUDENTS.
Lincoln, Jt'rbruska.
C. M. LEIOI1TON. II. W. ltllOWN.
LEIGHTON & BKOWN,
W1IOI.KXA1.E AND ItKTAII.
DRUG-GUSTS,
AND
BOOKSELLERS,
Coiner O and 11th Streetn,
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA.
T. C. Kern, IleiiliHt.
Oitlrr, Jh-lgt' HuildliiK, O St. Hot. lOtb & 11th
LINCOLN, . - NK1HIASKA
SST.W.h WOltK WAllltANTKl).
Dr. Hurlbut, P street.
E. T. M. HURLBUT, M. I).
HoMOd'ATinc Physician and Surgeon.
Olllceand Hesidence on P street, between
11th is 12th North side.
Steam Bakery.
Students and others desiring Bread,
Crackers, Pies, etc , will find it to their
Interst to call at the Steam Bakery, North
side of Public Square Next to the At
wood House.
A. M. J)A r.b',
Wbolenale unit Jtutntl Dealer In
Carpet, Oil CIoIIin, Slug, Main,
U'Sniiuw ha -, hatr Vurlalur,
It tun ox I.-, AV. tte
No. 28 E. O Stkkkt, Lincoln.
W. B. HARLOW.
Confectionery,
Oyster,
lit all style,
Boarding by the day and week.
so Eact O Ktieot,
" Lincoln.
C. Iff. Van Fomncii,
AOKNT KOU THE
PEACOK FORT SCOTT
COAL,
HAKD, and soft
WOOD,
OEEEHA1. AOKNT VOll
WW. BREED & CO'k
CKLKIIKATllD
Belfast Ginger Ale ! ()
G1NCOLN, NEBRSKA.
A. . ;iiison, A. M., HI. !.,
Jfrnn, Surgeon anil .iccouchtuv,
LINCOLN, NED.
OHlt'ii. Itesdenee and DlHjienHory on lltli Street,
Hetween O and N. Office open to call
at all Hour, either by Day or Night.
.w. .f.v,
W E vV TIST,
Teeth inserted on Qold, Silver and Rubber.
All Work Guaranteed.
Oflko ovorNcvrnian'H store on O Street.
(Hetwcon Tenth and Eleventh fitioetn.)
LINCOLN, NEHUASKA.
YOUNG & CHASE,
PHOTOGRAPHERS,
O Street Uetwcoli lOtlf anil lit b
j.
We lack a line to till out the column.
Wo lack another line.
j,cojr..r, .rjyjfw-sic..