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About The Hesperian / (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 4, 1901)
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" Slunq in Slang "
- i ,-wrra BY JOHN H. KEES - --
Illustrations by Dk Hanskn With apologies to George Arte, Win. J. $
Aesop, ami Tohn McCulchen.- jj
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THIS PABMS OF THK HIGH BOY WHO COULDN'T CONNECT
There was Once a Long Guy named i when he saw It.
Porcy, that wont to School because
his old Man had the Hard Rocks. He
was Registered in the Classical courso
but put in most of his Time playing
Bottle Pool in one of the Temperance
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He bought Things because thqy cost
more, and had Tickets on six Ladies'
and Gents' Sliining Parlors. When ho
went into a Clothier's thev had a
.Marked i up Komnant sale ami let him
have the Roman Stripes of five years
Back at a sacrifice to Percy.
In the Jay Town where they Raised
him, he was a Lalapalooser and if he
didn't Hug the Girl the first Night
well It wasn't Him. He know he was
hound to bo a Social Success when the
Mob know ho was Around, and rushed
three Frats so they couldn't Rest and
fed Them on 10c Cigars, but they
Shied clear over to the Other Side of
Before they Knew that he was a
Crayfish the Fellows introduced him
to Some of the Girls. They nearly
got Dopey getting Square.
Somehow some one gave him a
Flopper that the Rho Alpha Omicron
sorority was going to give a Party
that would Knock the Hosiery off of
anything Yet. The Long Guy hadn't
got Knocked Down to any of the Rho
girls, but there was One called Ethy
lene in his Eng. I. class.
The day after he Walked a Piece
with her. He caught her in a long
Block where there was nothing but
A. B. C. and Schlitz Dispensaries so
she couldn't stop in and Lose him.
When. they got to the Corner, Ethy
lene said, "The best of Friends must
I Part. Hero comes .my Car."
But Percy was looking for that
Curve and Knocked a Home Run.
"Well, ain't that singular?" he said,
"I'm going plumb to the End of the
1 It was too late, or she would have
forgot Something and went back.
He called on Sunday before tney
were through with Dinner, and stayed
till the Girl said she Had got to go to
Endeavor Meeting. It was the First
Time she had gone for Three Years.
He took her to a Hop. Before Eddie
finished the introduction to the first
Waltz, Ethylene's dress had four rents
Percy's dress suit was only rented
in two places they didn't have a Tall
enough Coat where he got the Vest
Their Wake looked like a Football
Game after a Big Gain through Center.
The worst of it was that it was just
about a Standoff between Bumping
around on the floor with him and
sitting it out Some of the Damozellos
did One and some the Other and
Wished they Hadn't.
The next Week there was a show
asked her where the Lesson
Next day ho sat Back of her and
asked what sho Got on Hor's, and Bald
the Render couldn't tell Good Stuff
stamped his feet and Cat-called a
few. He had a three Pound box of
Allegros and ate Most of it Himself.
Ho laughed gt?od and Loud at the
wrong Times and tried to make Fly
Cracks at the Show while August
put the soft pedal on the Orchestra
and the Leading Lady got in her
On the Way Homo, he asked her to
go to everything for the rest of the
Year; but it was Dark in the Hack
and she couldn't See him.
The next Day the "Request the
Honor of Your Presencc"s for the
party came out, but there was None
for Percy in the Boxes nor at his
! room. He hung Around so s the Rho
girls could Hand it to him if they
Wanted to, but they Didn't Want
He gave Ethylene a Hunch that his
Bid had been lost in the Shuffle and
asked for a New Deal. On Sunaay
he Dropped out to Get Next to v
ho Stood, but she Saw him First
When she passed him on the WalK
next Day he Tried to Have Words
with her, but she passed him Up. She
was trying to count the Stars on the
Percy is getting real Ghummy with
the Alpha Q's. They arc going to
Give Something next week. It is u
Hen Banquet, but he isn't on.
Moral: One man's Coin is as good
as Another's If You can Get it Loose.
You should see our line
of BOOKSand PICTURES
before selecting your
graduating presents. We
have both to please you.
Wilson & Hall
Booksellers and Stationers
1123 O Street
a NEW LINE JUST IN
THE B. L. PHINE GLCTHING STORE
"A Geed Place te Buy Good Glethe&"
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"The Latest" !3 Shoe
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wJtli a N Y Rep. in town. Prices
were lioosted up three Notches. The
Lengthy Percy read the "Free list
suspended. Out ol Town orders filled
as Received" con and took two seats
at five a throw.
He never had hoanl of the Actor,
(('didn't romombor the Name of the
Play n oi pronounce it if ho Could
Little Ethylene made him "wait two
Days for hor Answer, hut Inside sno
jum pod at the Chance to go All Right.
She wanted to say She had Boon. Hor
Solid was away and she didn't Caro
to Touch Up tho Old Man (Papa Dear)
Jdst then. Ho had to he kept jollied
lor tho Party Dress and Assessment
As they wont ji, He jostled the
President of the Bank and 17 other
prominent and substantial Citizens
with tholr Wives. They wore going
Tho Long Guy had a Good 'Time. Ho
PERKINS & SHELDON CO.
1129 0 Street
Mention The Hesperian
Kodaks, & Cameras,
t OFF ON
tKJ Promos and Pocos
D. -M. "E)ePutroH -f
'ii?. North Eleventh' St. Opposite Ridmris Xlt.
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