The Nebraskan-Hesperian
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t & llotes anb Comments & HEMQimRTERs f7
A HAIR SUTE IN THE LAW
SCHOOL.
There was a Blnckstono named
Newby,
'Whoso whiskers were both long and
ruby,
The whiskers got clipped
And the Ncwbys were flipped.
Who did It Is kept on the Q. T.
On Inst Tuesday evening occurred
one of tho darkest and most mysteri
ous and at the same time one of the
moso brilliant events of the year. It
arose out of the long and radiant whis
kers which Wm. L. Newby of tho law
school wore. Those whiskers are
now largely a thing of the past. Never
again will they be seen in all their pris
tine beauty, as they wave In tho fore
front of the junior law class like the
helmet of Navarre, leading the class on
to greater and greater achievements
a pillar of Are by day and by night
Not even a thing so good and pure
and beautiful as a complete set of fire
works whiskers is without enemies.
They excited tho envy of the. senior
laws. Ono member was heard to say
that they ought to be cut off. Many
others thought so.
The flambeau offended their aes
thetic taste. Society as a whole had
some rights which were superior to
those of the individual. Moreover, it
would bo an act of kindness to remove
them; it is the duty of every person to
make as good an appearance as possi
ble. None of them had ever seen Mr.
Newby without the whiskers, but they
wero willing to take the risk he
couldn't look much worse anyhow. And
that is just where they fell down, as
will bo shown'hereinafter.
The established facts in tho case
ate few in number and arc too well
known to permii or necessitate a long
account of tho harrowing, or rather
harvesting, event of April 22.
In brief, Mr. Newby was invited to
the rooms of M. J. Cronin, one of his
class mates, where ho indulged In a
plain and fancy conversation for a
short time, and anon jarred down to
Hanna's drug store, where they
sampled a decoction known as "New
by flip." Mr. Newby pronounced It a
success, made arrangements to secure
a royalty for the use of his name, and
expressed tho hope that his namesake
might bo universally popular.
How happy was Wh. L., as, with his
companion, ho turned north on Four
teenth B'.rcet. Ills thoughts were of
the fame which had been attained,
through a certain beverage, by Messrs.
Thomas and Jeremiah, and the future
looked bright as bright as the
w k s.
At P street they turned caat and
had proceeded about half a block when
both wero set upon by unknown men,
who appeared all of a sudden out of tho
darkness.
Mr. Cronin is not a large man, and
was quickly overpowered and bound to
a tree. Mr. Newby was not so easily
handled. Ho made a heroic flght for
what he held most dear. Ho has often
necn heard to say that tho corlso whis
kers held a warm placo In his affec
tions. Tho resistance which ho made
shows how greatly he was attached to
them.
After a desperate struggle, in which
his assailants were repeatedly thrown
Into tho gutter, ho was downed, sat
upon, gagged, and blindfolded.
A pair of tin-shears was brought
into play. Hero again was demonstrat
ed the great attachment between the
man and his whiskers. The noise mado
in tho attempt to trim tho beard quick
ly attracted a large crowd. They were
assured that it was nothing but a fra
ternity initiation and did not Interfere.
Cronin got loose In somo way and at
tempted to aid his companion, but was
again overpowered.
Tho grating sound of the shears con
tinued for a few minutes then the
cutters cut and run and Newby roso
slowly to his feet. Oh, what a change
wan there!
Let us examine him for a moment
by tho ruddy glow of fragments
which cover tho walk. Ono side and
tho lower part of the whiskers are
gone, leaving a long goat's beard under
ihe chin, a long, flowing sldeburn on
one side and a more or less closely
trimmed beard on the other. Mere
words cannot depict the surprising
variety of effects which are combined
one and the same face. The hazers at
tempted to trim his hair, and were
partially successful. The whole job
recembles one of those hair-cuts like
mother used to make. We have heard I
much against tho barbers' college, but
it is not in it for a minute with the
college barbers.
Mr. Newby returned to Hanna's and
without attempting to draw attention
to himself, listened to a group of law
students who were inside flipping the
Newbys. Ho continued gathering evi
dence tho next morning and located
the guilty parties to his own satisfac
tion. It was reported that he would per
sonally conduct the prosecution in po
lice court and an Interesting exhibi
tion was anticipated. However, tho
police did not fancy any trouble with
tho students so near the close of tho
year and discouraged Newby's desire
to swear out a complaint.
Next the friends of the disfigured
man visited the county attorney. This
official became highly incensed and
promised that he would at onco prose
cu.o the fiends to the full extent of tho
law. "Hanging is too good for a gang
that will leave a man's face in that
shape. I'll teach them to cut all off
tho next time."
When ho heard all the facts ho con
cluded that the boys had done the best
they could under the circumstances.
,At this writing Mr. Newby has not
completed tho work so well begun, last
wook. Ho says his wlfo would not
consent to his shaving. People have
boon divorced for much less than this.
Tho City Improvement Society has
taken steps toward requiring tho abate
ment of tho nuisance, but ho swears
by what is loft of his beard that it is
a personal matter nobody's affair but
his own.
Tho worst of it is that tho flnnor
of whom they borrowed the shears re
fuses to tako them back. Ho says they
aro ruined, and must bo paid for.
H. W. Brown Drug Book Co.
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