The Hesperian / (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1899, October 17, 1899, Page 8, Image 8

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Villi NKBRASKAX-HIJSPtilUAN,
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Kqnnl to Hie Ocennlon.
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"Your wife's sick V Didn't yon toll
mo Inst wot'lc shf wns dead?"
"Yes, innni, but I'vo mniricd
6gain."New York Journal.
HonnclfocplnR: In Afrlcn.
Negro Oh, ma, the elephant is eat
ing the houco npl
rielF I leurii, Pnmloin Olnra, tltat
yon favor this follow rather than me,
I'll first 1'ill biui, then yon, and then
uiyaolf I
She If yon' vo not sot on this panic
nlitr order, I'd Tuflior you'd begin at
the othor enfl! Unsuro GrppllHchaft.
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Rend the...
Nebraskan
Hesperian
Scholarship
Offer.
Open
to all
Students
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Positions Secured!
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Vi. , "iifi unit, dr.HVluu IIUUKI 0 I lilt
Nearly Appointments Iv.ptn. hj rimil for nil GovMrmiiniii (ncniiiinaiioiia Vam
cash or inatnUmontR A tlH.rough and Bomntific ociuiHt- in nil dupnrtmanta. Rfdiiiri
Xe'nl.e nf i'i S",ttriBh,,w,c 'llc' " pnvaio lirniH for the Rmo lond oi ivoik
I 0 liour. of Ubor ro fclmri duiias light poninoiiH for lifo. Tnao our cour. .f
h tutly and wo (uarnntiiB tlim you will paB tho Civil Servioo Rxmniniitivna Write in
closing Hinmp for Cm ilnguc cleacribiiis conw to "iMn. write in
IIUREAU Of CIVIL SfRVICl INSTIIUCTI0N, WASHINGTON. D. (,.
NOT A SURPRISE.
It will not bo i surprise to any who
are at all familiar with tho good qual
ities of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
to know that people everywhere take
pleasure in rolat'ng tholr experience
in the use of that splendid medicine,
and in tolling of tho benefit they have (
leceived from it, of bad colds it has (
cured, of threatened attacks of prion-1
mo.iia it has averted, and of tho chil- (
dron it has saved from attacks of .
croup and whooping cough. It is a
grind, good men" el no. For sale by
druggists.
j Wanted--We will pay $12.00 a wcok
i salary to either a man or woman to
I represent the Midland months maga-
j 7."no as a subscription solicitor. Tho
Midland is the same size as McCluro'u
or the Cosmopolitan. It is now 'r. its
sixth year and is tho only magazine of
this kind published in the groat central
west A handsome premium given to
each subscriber. Sond 10 conts for a
copy of tho Midland and prom'um list
jto tho Twentieth Century Publishing
Co.. St. Louis, Mo.
W1UT CAUSED TUB TROUBLE. ,
' "Was there any confusion in hand-'
brg the crowd?"
"Well, there was a lot of confusion
in the wav the crowd handled each
other "
, COULDN'T BE INTERRUPTED
"Send my typewriter girl In bore,
1 Jimmy. "
"1 dassont interrupt her, sir; she's
'martin' a letter from her boaii."
CONSOLATION.
i The postmaster does not como my way
t And yet my heart is very light;
If 1 receive no mail today,
No one will think I "ought to write.'
KEEPING THINGS MOVING.
"Bobby has malar a aad Ave had to
pay him a dime to take qu'nine."
"'1 hat's all right."
"But lie spent the dime for a water
melon a rd that gave him another
chill "
A NEIGHBORHOOD TRAGEDY.
"Mrs. Chipporton took care of my
palm while 1 was away and ruined it."
"How?"
"It was one of those varnished
pnlmp, and bIip watered It every day"
A WAY OUT.
"Our rooms look perfectly disgrace
ful, and hero are visitors coming."
"Lot's throw things around a little
more and then we win toll thorn wo are
clraning house."
EASILY TRACED.
"That auonymous letter was easily
traced to a woman."
"What made thorn Hiink a woman
wrote 'f"
"It hurt no date "
Intercolleginte
Bureau.
Collrril 4 Lemnl,
W-i l?K Itrodunv
A.liuti), Nuw York
MuUiTtt if t he
Caps, Gowns and Moods
To the American Colleen and Univer
BtUMi ItltiHtrHled manual, samplm pnrh
1 cue , upon roqiiwit Howii for the pulpn
and 1 lie honcli.
Wo aid nil those who want GOVERN
MENT POSITIONS 8i.000 plnoon
,.,.1.... r.. .. o .. 'r ......
" ISBV
iiaraS8
Date Changed
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Rev. Thomas Dixon, first number w m.
C. A. Star Course, at the Funkc, October 25th. Single
admissions, 23c, 3.".c and flOc. Season tickets, ten
numbers, SI. 00
Secure Tickets at once.
71 V
,55Ss2ir- i ... - r r-r -r - un fw j I
THE. UNIVERSITY
SCHOOL OF MUSIC
i
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SUuleiits contemplating the study of
music, and those wlio have friends
desirous of inl.M'mation concerning
,t, the advantages oil'ered, are cordially
invitedjjto visit the school and obtain
an illustrated Catalogue. You can
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:25::2sas:5?S2?;
JJOlMIIEbSj.Lucror cukv t utu a t-AKKtK. fouNTAiN PEN
1 ftsrumi
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ri t
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iSQCCESSoFTHEPEN AGE.9
Geo. S. Parker
Fountain Pens
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No Screw to Break
No .lolnt to Leak
No Old-fashioned
Nozzle :
CHAS. J. ALLEN, Agent. ,
University of Nebraska.
$5$l$
Rambler
I BicycleS...
The Twenty Year
w
is opposite the Campus, fy
i enter ai any nine 55.11
iii i
4
WILLARD KIMBALL
DIRECTOR.
Perfect
Parker
Pens...
Old Wheel.
The
GUTHRDE ?S
At 1540 "O Street I
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