k h' Villi NKBRASKAX-HIJSPtilUAN, 1 X i ' i B rtr irR fl Iff In. r n' j i i I J I1 ! 4 Kqnnl to Hie Ocennlon. m sfe "Your wife's sick V Didn't yon toll mo Inst wot'lc shf wns dead?" "Yes, innni, but I'vo mniricd 6gain."New York Journal. HonnclfocplnR: In Afrlcn. Negro Oh, ma, the elephant is eat ing the houco npl rielF I leurii, Pnmloin Olnra, tltat yon favor this follow rather than me, I'll first 1'ill biui, then yon, and then uiyaolf I She If yon' vo not sot on this panic nlitr order, I'd Tuflior you'd begin at the othor enfl! Unsuro GrppllHchaft. r Rend the... Nebraskan Hesperian Scholarship Offer. Open to all Students K Positions Secured! J Vi. , "iifi unit, dr.HVluu IIUUKI 0 I lilt Nearly Appointments Iv.ptn. hj rimil for nil GovMrmiiniii (ncniiiinaiioiia Vam cash or inatnUmontR A tlH.rough and Bomntific ociuiHt- in nil dupnrtmanta. Rfdiiiri Xe'nl.e nf i'i S",ttriBh,,w,c 'llc' " pnvaio lirniH for the Rmo lond oi ivoik I 0 liour. of Ubor ro fclmri duiias light poninoiiH for lifo. Tnao our cour. .f h tutly and wo (uarnntiiB tlim you will paB tho Civil Servioo Rxmniniitivna Write in closing Hinmp for Cm ilnguc cleacribiiis conw to "iMn. write in IIUREAU Of CIVIL SfRVICl INSTIIUCTI0N, WASHINGTON. D. (,. NOT A SURPRISE. It will not bo i surprise to any who are at all familiar with tho good qual ities of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to know that people everywhere take pleasure in rolat'ng tholr experience in the use of that splendid medicine, and in tolling of tho benefit they have ( leceived from it, of bad colds it has ( cured, of threatened attacks of prion-1 mo.iia it has averted, and of tho chil- ( dron it has saved from attacks of . croup and whooping cough. It is a grind, good men" el no. For sale by druggists. j Wanted--We will pay $12.00 a wcok i salary to either a man or woman to I represent the Midland months maga- j 7."no as a subscription solicitor. Tho Midland is the same size as McCluro'u or the Cosmopolitan. It is now 'r. its sixth year and is tho only magazine of this kind published in the groat central west A handsome premium given to each subscriber. Sond 10 conts for a copy of tho Midland and prom'um list jto tho Twentieth Century Publishing Co.. St. Louis, Mo. W1UT CAUSED TUB TROUBLE. , ' "Was there any confusion in hand-' brg the crowd?" "Well, there was a lot of confusion in the wav the crowd handled each other " , COULDN'T BE INTERRUPTED "Send my typewriter girl In bore, 1 Jimmy. " "1 dassont interrupt her, sir; she's 'martin' a letter from her boaii." CONSOLATION. i The postmaster does not como my way t And yet my heart is very light; If 1 receive no mail today, No one will think I "ought to write.' KEEPING THINGS MOVING. "Bobby has malar a aad Ave had to pay him a dime to take qu'nine." "'1 hat's all right." "But lie spent the dime for a water melon a rd that gave him another chill " A NEIGHBORHOOD TRAGEDY. "Mrs. Chipporton took care of my palm while 1 was away and ruined it." "How?" "It was one of those varnished pnlmp, and bIip watered It every day" A WAY OUT. "Our rooms look perfectly disgrace ful, and hero are visitors coming." "Lot's throw things around a little more and then we win toll thorn wo are clraning house." EASILY TRACED. "That auonymous letter was easily traced to a woman." "What made thorn Hiink a woman wrote 'f" "It hurt no date " Intercolleginte Bureau. Collrril 4 Lemnl, W-i l?K Itrodunv A.liuti), Nuw York MuUiTtt if t he Caps, Gowns and Moods To the American Colleen and Univer BtUMi ItltiHtrHled manual, samplm pnrh 1 cue , upon roqiiwit Howii for the pulpn and 1 lie honcli. Wo aid nil those who want GOVERN MENT POSITIONS 8i.000 plnoon ,.,.1.... r.. .. o .. 'r ...... " ISBV iiaraS8 Date Changed vV'- II 'ire vVt Vi'f Rev. Thomas Dixon, first number w m. C. A. Star Course, at the Funkc, October 25th. Single admissions, 23c, 3.".c and flOc. Season tickets, ten numbers, SI. 00 Secure Tickets at once. 71 V ,55Ss2ir- i ... - r r-r -r - un fw j I THE. UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF MUSIC i tb SUuleiits contemplating the study of music, and those wlio have friends desirous of inl.M'mation concerning ,t, the advantages oil'ered, are cordially invitedjjto visit the school and obtain an illustrated Catalogue. You can vi xb U i I :25::2sas:5?S2?; JJOlMIIEbSj.Lucror cukv t utu a t-AKKtK. fouNTAiN PEN 1 ftsrumi 5 IfM ri t r th: iSQCCESSoFTHEPEN AGE.9 Geo. S. Parker Fountain Pens I I I I I I I I I No Screw to Break No .lolnt to Leak No Old-fashioned Nozzle : CHAS. J. ALLEN, Agent. , University of Nebraska. $5$l$ Rambler I BicycleS... The Twenty Year w is opposite the Campus, fy i enter ai any nine 55.11 iii i 4 WILLARD KIMBALL DIRECTOR. Perfect Parker Pens... Old Wheel. The GUTHRDE ?S At 1540 "O Street I vmmmm e:tes5es vit&jmmvA