THE HESPERIAN
BIXBY'S RETREKT,
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AN OPEN LETTER FROM BIX.
To the Student Body, Individually and at Largo:
Dear Body: If you should happen to see a youth, slender,
sickly, wearing ague-colored shoes, iritated hosiery and rain
bow tinted trousers, do not rashly conjecture that Lincoln,
minus his bull-pup and corn-cob, has come again.
Ho hasn't.
It is simply the College Idiot, your titled gentleman of
leisure, basking in the vernal sunshine. Jnst notice that low,
receding forehead, those bulging eyes, that morbid, insinuat
ing smile.
Lincoln has come and gone as a thief in the dark, stilly
night. Solah.
Gaze about you, dear body, and behold the men who aspire
to be even as he was.
A certain Freshman, on sunny afternoons, arrays himself in
gorgeous Knickerbockers, paid for by a doting father who
wears overalls. Then the deah young man goes to the library
and puzzles over McOlure's.
Another fellow wears three pairs of heavy, woolen golf
socks in order to transform a pair of spindle shanks into plump,
well-rounded calves.
This is all vanity, damfoolishness, and vexation of Profs.
Dear Body, none but the College Idiot can be Ed. Henry's
parallel. So Long, . Bix.
Wo have the Now
Spring Styles
in tho best
$3, $3.50 AND $5
SHOES
on earth.
One profit from factory to foot. WEBSTER & ROGERS, 1 043 O St.
-gyp- ...imnr-TTiii ' """itfiTi i wtiiMiiiatesa-
P. B. Weaver spent a week at home in Falls City.
Sam B. Sloan spent a pleasant Easter at Logan, .Iowa.
Students will do well to remember that Westerfiold is still
in business at his old stand 117 N. 13th street.
A banquet of the Alumni of the University residing in
Chicago was held last week. Chancellor MacLoan was present
and responded to the toast "My dear boys and girls at the
front." Ex-chancollor Canfield responded to the toast ''When
I rode in a caboose." Tho event was a very enjoyable one.
The contest which will be held tonight'at Omaha, will no
doubt, be an interesting one. Secretary Benedict has been
working hard to get up a good party from the University. He
expects to secure a party of about twenty-five. The delegates
to the state convention are J. A. Maguire, F. L. Rain, R. L.
Waterman, E. F. Warner, and F. E. Edgorton. All earnestly
hope that our representative will secure first place. Already
nearly all of tho states in the League have chosen their repre
sentatives for tho inter-state contest which will be held here
May 4. Iowa will bo represented by a man from Simpson
college. Wo understand that tho students of that college ex
pect to charter a car and attend the contest in a body. Ne
braska must make this oratorical meet a success whether she
is represented or not. Her honor and that of Lincoln is at
stake.
ACTIVE SOLICITORS WANTED EVERYWHERE for "The Story of tho Philip
pines." by Murut Halstcad. commissioned by the Government ns official Hlstorica
to tho War Department. Tho book was written in army camps at Ran Franciscol
on the Puclilc with General Merritt, in tho hospitals at Honolulu, in Hong Kong, in the
American trenches at Manila, in the Insurpcnt camps with Ajniinaldo, on tho deck of
tho Olympia with Dewey, and In the roar of battle at tho fall of Manila. Bonanza for
agents, urimrui or original pictures tunen iy government pnotograpners on me spot.
iargo dooic. iow prices, nig proms preignt paiu. ureau given. Drop aw
unofficial war books
Street. Chicago
Outilt free. Address H I
trashy
narber, Gen Mngr., 350 Dearborn
60 YEARS'
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