'
r
In
Hi -ttteM AN
m3fcliY3 i island AW,
IlvlluCVntrnil
ih'lentlit cut Hispaniacl
' Haw you troubles of your invnr
Tell a Phone.
Five-cent baths and ten-cent pay telephones sup
plenicnted by three-cent admission at. the gates
would surpass a Dingley tariff for revenue.
Uiipcr, (at pay telephone) "Hello, live nino six,
please." "
S.weet little voice ut eentral; "Put in a dime,
please."
Roper, (stupelied) "Well-er-say, Central, have
you change for lifty cents?"
PAY-TELEPHONE DID IT.
I had thought to'reform when the puy-tclcphonc
Put a.itM in such notions as that,
For I haven't this price, hence I cannot refrain
From .-peaking riglit on through my hat.
IIAOKU HEADS LOVK INTO SPENC!EU.
' li-. urmving older now each time
lb &its close by her side,
As in the pedagogic work
Their hearts aie iiiollilied
Unto each other lent, sir
. So linger now wiih quickened zeal
Tells what he read and wh.it lie feels
The Prof, frowns darkly from above:
"Arc you not reading a little love
Kight into Herbert Spencers'"
A blush or two
The clafs work through.
' And Hager swears be will not do
It -Any
More.
BUbll WENT TO THE DICKENS.
A bard canc.1
Yes, he hunted through the "cases"
Through the musty old "reports,"
In the law room, ut the State-House
All decisions of the courts.
JiardtU vis Pickwick 'Somewhere
He would find it if it killed him,
To digest that grave decision
Thus determination filled him.
Chanced he then to meet Judge Wilson
(Who can size up last year's chickens)
Said the Judge with kindly twinkle,
"You should go, sir, to the Dickens."
CJollcpje JNonweiifte.
"How goes it now at college, John?"
A father then petitioned.
Then quickly came the answer back;
'I'm very wen conditioned."
eoi.l.fcoT. blctioK'Aitv.
ColUmuiicc-niont The cud.
Soph-o-morc A wise person; one of nature's
noblemen.
Rhe-tor-i-eals A revival of the tortures of the
middle ages.
Sen-ior One who rides a pony hi the race for a
sheepskin.
Junior One who knows it all and tries to teach
the faculty.
Flunk Process of changing from a four to a live
year course.
Quiz An instrument of torture to theclass which
teachers delight iu usiug.
Po-ny A beast of burden used by students when
traveling in unexplored lands. Central College
Magazine.
"SEMPER FIDKI.ld.'
1 sup with the dualling maids, with the jolly diaper-
ones,
Goldsmith meanwhile sending daucing fevers
through my boucs.
I march to the "Stars and Stripes" at the glorious
D. K. Prom.,
Driving home by way of the lake with the girl who
calls me I'om."
1 two step and glide in glue to the rhythm of Beta's
drum,
Falling iu love with "En Review" and the girl who
makes things hum.
I waltz, I waltz aud I waltz, in the rapturous
"Gotham Gay,"
Dreaming with my IM U. Queen, who seuds mo her
love today
1 sit'neaUi shady palms at the Alpha Delta Phi,
Giving the grips of 1', N. E to iho maids demure
and shy.
But when informals I dance and tvutk to Rosalie hall
She, who does not need a cab, is the sweetest of
them all. U. of C. Weekly.
The Youiiff LiKlieH MinwtiolN
ior Use Htsiustit of
Oiiho Ball.
The University anticipates a grand treat at the
Young Ladies Minstrels to bo given Friday night in
the Armory. Let the boys aud girls too of the Uni.
turn out and lill the Armory with a big crowd and
show the girls of the " I'roup" their approbation for
their work done on behalf of University Base Ball.
This is the lirst thing of the kind ever given In the
University, and from what we he- of the perform
auce, It is going to be a great hit. The programme
hasten carefully arranged, there are plenty of good
fresh jokes and catchy new songs The dancing
will be one of the features of the entertainment.
The young men are to bo congratulated that they
have such an attraction to offer the students. Let
every one turn out and bring th.di Mends, and show
the Co-eds that they appreciate their efforts. Miss
