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About The Hesperian / (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 18, 1898)
' r In Hi -ttteM AN m3fcliY3 i island AW, IlvlluCVntrnil ih'lentlit cut Hispaniacl ' Haw you troubles of your invnr Tell a Phone. Five-cent baths and ten-cent pay telephones sup plenicnted by three-cent admission at. the gates would surpass a Dingley tariff for revenue. Uiipcr, (at pay telephone) "Hello, live nino six, please." " S.weet little voice ut eentral; "Put in a dime, please." Roper, (stupelied) "Well-er-say, Central, have you change for lifty cents?" PAY-TELEPHONE DID IT. I had thought to'reform when the puy-tclcphonc Put a.itM in such notions as that, For I haven't this price, hence I cannot refrain From .-peaking riglit on through my hat. IIAOKU HEADS LOVK INTO SPENC!EU. ' li-. urmving older now each time lb &its close by her side, As in the pedagogic work Their hearts aie iiiollilied Unto each other lent, sir . So linger now wiih quickened zeal Tells what he read and wh.it lie feels The Prof, frowns darkly from above: "Arc you not reading a little love Kight into Herbert Spencers'" A blush or two The clafs work through. ' And Hager swears be will not do It -Any More. BUbll WENT TO THE DICKENS. A bard canc.1 Yes, he hunted through the "cases" Through the musty old "reports," In the law room, ut the State-House All decisions of the courts. JiardtU vis Pickwick 'Somewhere He would find it if it killed him, To digest that grave decision Thus determination filled him. Chanced he then to meet Judge Wilson (Who can size up last year's chickens) Said the Judge with kindly twinkle, "You should go, sir, to the Dickens." CJollcpje JNonweiifte. "How goes it now at college, John?" A father then petitioned. Then quickly came the answer back; 'I'm very wen conditioned." eoi.l.fcoT. blctioK'Aitv. ColUmuiicc-niont The cud. Soph-o-morc A wise person; one of nature's noblemen. Rhe-tor-i-eals A revival of the tortures of the middle ages. Sen-ior One who rides a pony hi the race for a sheepskin. Junior One who knows it all and tries to teach the faculty. Flunk Process of changing from a four to a live year course. Quiz An instrument of torture to theclass which teachers delight iu usiug. Po-ny A beast of burden used by students when traveling in unexplored lands. Central College Magazine. "SEMPER FIDKI.ld.' 1 sup with the dualling maids, with the jolly diaper- ones, Goldsmith meanwhile sending daucing fevers through my boucs. I march to the "Stars and Stripes" at the glorious D. K. Prom., Driving home by way of the lake with the girl who calls me I'om." 1 two step and glide in glue to the rhythm of Beta's drum, Falling iu love with "En Review" and the girl who makes things hum. I waltz, I waltz aud I waltz, in the rapturous "Gotham Gay," Dreaming with my IM U. Queen, who seuds mo her love today 1 sit'neaUi shady palms at the Alpha Delta Phi, Giving the grips of 1', N. E to iho maids demure and shy. But when informals I dance and tvutk to Rosalie hall She, who does not need a cab, is the sweetest of them all. U. of C. Weekly. The Youiiff LiKlieH MinwtiolN ior Use Htsiustit of Oiiho Ball. The University anticipates a grand treat at the Young Ladies Minstrels to bo given Friday night in the Armory. Let the boys aud girls too of the Uni. turn out and lill the Armory with a big crowd and show the girls of the " I'roup" their approbation for their work done on behalf of University Base Ball. This is the lirst thing of the kind ever given In the University, and from what we he- of the perform auce, It is going to be a great hit. The programme hasten carefully arranged, there are plenty of good fresh jokes and catchy new songs The dancing will be one of the features of the entertainment. The young men are to bo congratulated that they have such an attraction to offer the students. Let every one turn out and bring th.di Mends, and show the Co-eds that they appreciate their efforts. Miss
