The Hesperian / (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1899, March 04, 1898, Image 10

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14
THE: HESPERIAN
BIXBY'S R-EXJR.E.tUr.
Spring?
Basket-ball me too!
A man may die laughing.
"Etwas zu wohl ist imi'suinl."
" What in thunder does lie do'"
Exhaustive observation is au element of all great
success. St.eucer.
K. V.
NOT CATALOGUED, OK I'AUIDISK KEGAI.VED.
Advance bliec. from tlic -enlor I'lny.
St. Peter: Who comes? Mark, who bolsters there
To seek in II;aven it cushioned chair?
Hip Van Wiuklc: Tis 1. a Lord myself, a King,
. A monarch, despot, anything,
Swiu.$ biuu tuoic gate sir, I say awing!
St. Peter: You Hip? aud you not catalogued,
Not cheeked not listed? I'll be dogged!
A duplicate? No, that Won't do,
We only ordered one of you.
W: A vaunt, ye serf, ye lazy slave,
H.iu vill.tiu, scono-livl, duplex knave
Si. Peter: Hut nlay, dear Hip, repress your pride
And nave a neat down there outside.
II re, luo uiut tulox on your right
Then look foi "Speech, ' and "Swear" and
Spite,"
And "Outrage, " Insult," "Disrespect"
Inuoiiipeteucy," "Derelict"
"Uobuiues-dike," and "Lizy," "Lix"
Demi," "Foisilized" and "Bittle-Axe"
What! Heavens, Kip! Can't find the word?
Tut Hit, your murmur U abiurJ
I think 1 know, Sir, by your locus
You've slept among old musty bjoks
And now till- index cannot me!
I swear, want in? Well I refusel
Hip rises, b alters down boih gates with bis list,
t!u (Mies Pete, aud the curtain fall.
TUB It K A HON
I have feed my fond reader on viands,
In the kitchen of fanny preptred,
On sweet and delect tble viands
In the cook-room of fancy prepared,
I have liun the pomegranate of beauty
On line heavy-la led witli pnise,
Tl: orient fruit of p jm 'grani Uts,
On line overburdened wit'i prale.
Oppressed with ilelilitiiblu praise.
I h tVB poured out the nectarine julse.
From stanzas a-sccntcd with love,
Hebu's nccttrcous juice,
A scent with the attar of love
Hoiiuielian attar of love,
But they turn from my viand delicious
In the kitchen of fancy prepared,
From my nectar, pomegranate and attar,
They turn with impatient di.gust,
With impatient aud sneering disgust;
Aud they vow as they're munching the mutton,
Prepared in the cook-room of fact,
As Ihcy'ie tearing and munching the mutton,
Prepared in the oven of fact,
In the iron hard oven of fact:
There is nothing so sweet to the eater
To the famished and gluttonous eater
There's nothing so rare as a roast
As a cold slice of oven-browu roast.
A PASTORAL.
Every straying amorous zephyr
Venturous harliing-M' of pring,
Twangs a vibrant chord of feeling
Bid" the heart awake and sing;
Hangs before the pensive fancy
Canvasses retouched by age,
Sets in pictures panoramic
"Snaps" from memory's kodak page.
Then we see the green a coining
Underneath the orchard trees
Where the clover is providing
Forage for the bumble-bees;
Then we hear the hens a-cackliug
On l he straw roof of l he sheds
While the pigeons, hawk awatching
Sky ward turn thicr burnished heads.
Days like this the cattle wander
From thestalk Held to the sod
Down among the roots of stubble-
Snilling every other rod
Days like this the careless farmer
Sorts among hi bolt and screws
Gittiu' that old cultivator
Some how or other, lit to use.
Days like this the solid couples
Take their 'ternal taffy-talk
From the library study ttblos
To the benches by the walk.
P. S
But the blizzard drives the zephyrs
Straying to the north too soon,
To the laud of rice and cotton,
legions of perpetual Juno;
All those visions fade and vanish
And the heart it singing stills
While another vision rises
Of the coal man with his bills.
All the kodak snaps skedaddle
To tli km long fol gotten nooks,
White I turn to fruitless hunting
For the hygiene doctor's books.
L'envoi
To the dreamer who is drifting
Where the sward is getting green
To my fellow fool a looking
Fortlnxe books in hygiene.
Itfscnmuiily reported that W. Judson Hunting,
formerly 1U17, has been promoted to advanced
standing in child study,
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