THE : HESPERIAN 13 15EXH3VS RETREAT. A lie spreads iteolf. Tho exam-signal is out hotter with threatening snows. "A genuine dime is worth more than a counterfeit twenty-dollar piece." Prof. Nicholson (to olas in organic ehem.) "Ualcs there is something iJcry special going on in chapel, you would hotter come over here, because there is something special going on her!." A LIVING IIEICO. How doth Prof. Franklin form himself Into a regimental gem To squelch the girlish prattle in The Sombre History Sem! My many sins are all forgiven Since Porter wears a star. The stars shine brighter up in heaven To vie with Porter's star. Into the chapel no jam and squeeze. No serious fall from tho Gym trapeze. And Land's' breath isn't scented with cheese Since Porter wears a star. Prof. Davis has gaudily painted his wheel Since Porter wears a star. And Shuff has a natural spring in his hoei Since Porter wears a star Kuhltnan makes socialist talks thro his hat Not knowing salvation and such things as that. Come only by way of the now "Preacher Frat" Since Porter wears a star. Frank Philbrick wears an honest look Since Porter wears a star. And Baker sneaks back stolen bookx Since Porter wears a star. But I think, to sum up. on the whole The only matter clear out of control Is the library sparking pathetically droll In defiance of Porter'?, star. My feelings stir in deepest fount. My soul ascends devotion's mount, I seem like seer in mountain cleft Or Patmos hard of flesh bereft ; From spirit-height to spirit-height. My God-ward soul holds steady flight When Davis prays in ehapol. A FEW SIMPLE SENTENCES. I take hygiene. 1 spend half my time reading the rest, looking for books. Tim prof, says I'll Hun if I don't have my work done in time. The prof, further says he'll give a toknn of merit to the good boys who get their work in in time. Mean while his good boys swipe the books from the lib rary to earn their merits and leave ine to look for tho books and prepare to flunk. Wo are soiling Mandolins, Guitars and Violins at reduced prices during our January Clearance sale. New ehoet muslo at less than half price. Send for Catalogue of Do music containing more than 4.000 pieces. Music Dept. Herpolsheimer & Co, We liked your 'learned show' Mr. Crabtree; Of school ma'am, don't you know, Mr. Crabtree; There were maids of every age There were simpering ones and sage. And flirtations were tho rage, Mr. Crabtree. There were lads of downless, Mr. Crabtree, There wore thick men, there were thin, Mr. Crabtree, There were hearts all "mashed" amain There were vows to meet again, There were helps for heart and brain Mr. Crabtree. But, it some how seemed to me, Mr. Crabtree. That your registrar should bo. Mr- Crabtree. In tho Arm'ry over there, Where there's room and room to span'. And no students led to swear, Mr. Crabtree. Mr. Epos, the librarian, has been contined to his room this week by sickness. The Pershing Rifles give their annual hop at the Lincoln this evening. There will be a joint meeting of the Christian As sociations on Sunday at 4 p. m, in Delian hall. Mr. C. A. Fisher recently made a visit to Denver to do some work in the interest of the Geology de partment. Mr. Fisher vigited the State mineral collection while there. The U. B 1) C. and the 1. K 1). society of Doaue College held the debate as announced in the HesI'j:u ian of last week. It is to be regrctcd that the de tailed report of the debate wap received too late for publication. The horticultural society met at the University this Aveek. Profs. T. W. Taylor and F. W. Card and other University peoplo were prominent in the pro ceedings of the asrtoeiatiou. When buying History Paper, Note Books, Univer sity Tablets, History Covers, Fountain Pens, Dic tionaries and University Supplies generally, be mire and look up the Bool; and Stationery Dep't of Herpolsheimer & Co. The II Rsri'iii an states in another column that tho mother of Miss Ruth Pyrtlc is nrioiisIy ill. Since this part of tho paper wont, to press we regret to nay that Mrs. Pyrtle has died. , Miis Pyrtle has the students' sympathy. Tho Stato Historical society hold their most suc cessful meeting this year. Tho attendance was the largest and the series of papers .tho best. Promi nent pioneers reading napors were J, Sterling Mor ton of Nebraska City, G. L Miller of Omaha, A. .1. Snwyer and Mr. Tibbies of Lincoln. '