s
Til K II KS I Hi: I A N
"LJiiIish as She is Wrote. "
The English department has furnished
us certified copies of a couple of themes
that are models of what themes ought
not to be. We print one of them exactly
as it Avas written. Tf this stuff would not
make a brass monkey howl with anguish,
it would at least jar his teeth loose. The
English department stands ready to 'ex
pose 'anything of this "kind that occurs
again. Take notice somebody.
4 ' T H TC DE AT) M AX ' S BET) . ' '
"I pity the person who dares to sleep
in that bed." These words were spoken
hv a dicing man as he iaid on ih floor
of a cosy and neat little room
Mis bed was taken from him with
whih to pay the rent.
Thai night as th boy entered thU
room, in which this hoc! stood, a dread
ful feeling came over him.
He saw deal.li step out of one coiner in
his room, ft stood there, with its eyeless
sockets, its long bony skull, its double
row o'f white teeth, its hollow chops, its
long linns, and over its shoulders a black
robe.
The boy's hair raised on end-., he was
powerless. The cold sweat 'run down
his face, he could not move. 'He lost 'his
breath and themiujED.
The death stepped before him andbtid
one of its Jong bony, jointed liands on
his shoulder.
He fainted, and when brought to his
mind, he saw his mother bent over him.
The feeling left him and he told his
mother what had passed.
The bed was chopped up for kindling
wood. As the first ipafl burned, a cloud
of white smoke burst out from the srove
and floated through the air in the shape
of a man.
TO TUB DMl'KATBI) DHHATHKS.
"We. learn to do by tiding,"
I think the song doth run,
Hut to my mind
Morn things we'lind
And learn by being ''done.' E
The 'Kansas "Nebraska Fuel I Jo. guar
antees its coal 'to be the best for the
money expended.
A Crown of Gold.
An open letter, us It were, to the Aniutul Itoiml .
Men may "wax eloquent over the great
simplicity of the laurel wioath, the Olym
pic crown of glory, but it remains for
the University of Nebraska to win im
mortal fame by stimulating ainbifions
men and maids to strive for a prize which
stands alone, unparalleled for its stern,
more 'than Spat-tan simplicity.
Poets, punch up your muses: and ro
mancers rouse the gods to aid you in
the thrilling contest now at hand.
The Junior Annual will give to tihe
successful combatant s fi fi.ee n gold-stnafi-ard
dollars, ten for the greatest Jul' of
love or war, as the case may be; and five
to reward the muse for the brief disturb
ance of her slumbers.
Hand in three type-written copias.
every mother's son and daughter of you
'who thirst for Junior Annual fault!
enough to enter this great contest be
tween intellectual gian'fs.
I'f'ten of you write Stories of four thou
sand words each, aL five cents a hundred
Wrds you 'Will spay twenty I'lrfllars 'to
'type-writers. But the. more ty'lift "merrier,
and the less -will lie the prriportionrite
worldly value of our fair iprize.
'It may be possible to pay oight cents a
hundred to fair typo-writers. If so. do
not degrade yonr dignity by offering loss.
A fair field and no favors. Undying
honois to the worthy victors; and etoi'iml
famotiQ our Annual.
For fiililiful type-writer
HOOT-HALL, llimiKS,
The goeoud half had just begun;
The signals had boon glvun;
He took tho'ball around the end.
Anil wakened up in Heaven.-- 'Ex.
'His head wan jammed into the sand,
"His arniB were broke in twain; rt
Three ribs 'wen- snapped, four teeth mwWm
lllo'tid'or would walk again.
?liBlips move slow I Htooped toheur
Whewhismers they letfall. ,
His'voieewaH weak, but this'I 'hnru;
"Old man, who got tbe'ball?"-
ak