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THE HESPERIAN.
hard. The natural impulse, when sighting a
freak, is to throw something at it just to set
it jump. Next to increasing street car rates,
it is the duty of our council to pass an ordin
ance compelling these boys to have their hair
cut or go to jail. The world has had enough
to make it sad without this blooming array of
unkempt intellectuality that tends to provoke
riot and bloodshed.
Cut off, I pray, those ringlets fair,
Of long, uncombed pneumatic hair,
Dress up your heads and then begin
To cultivate ttie brains within.
State Journal.
Our own and only Professor Hunt who
used to terrorize the unsophisticated freshie
is running a farm in the ground (of Nebraska)
near Syracuse. All old students who remem
ber the professor will be pained to learn that
his weight is reduced to two hundred pounds.
Seeing our German professor lush up
eight flights of stairs, bending beneath a load
of books and examination papers- -seeing our
Virgil professor make a bee. line for Nebraska
Hall, threading his way through the writhing
sea n the halls, one is forcibly reminded of
several things. In the bills that our august
representatives in legislative halls send in
loving remembrance there is always a large
item for the salaries of pages. A picture
comes before us. Imagine one of these poor
men who cannot spare from the common
fund the University appropriation one of
these "friends" of us all, with his fair maiden
pages to bring him the paper and to stand by
his throne, imagine him in the annex behind
the wire door. Fancy him in one of those
inquisitorial chairs in the German room.
Fancy him standing, as one poor youth did,
with chattering teeth before the door of the
English room, faltering, "Is the Lord in?"
Whose fault I it?
A FOOTHAM. STORY IN TWO CHAPTERS.
CHAP. I.
They did not think they would win, but
they went to Lawrence any way. They got
down to work and scattered the grass hoppers
all over the field. The news came over the
wires "12 to 6 in Nebraska's favor." We
never beat 'em before. Last year they simply
ignored us to the tune of 12 to o. So when
we played horse with them this time the boys
could not stand it. 1 mean the boys up here.
They just went out on the campus and allow
ed their enthusiasm to ascend to the skies.
Something els,e went up to.ard heaven also
that was worth more than enthusiasm, it was
our old backless chairs. Shade of W. O.
Jones, come back, and the Palladian carpet is
all you will find that was your contemporary.
Those two old chairs, those dear old stools,
those precious, old relics are gone. But boys,
we are glad you took 'em. We would have
burned them long ago but it seemed cruel to
thus treat them in their old age.
CHAP, 11.
Monday night. It comes over the wires,
"Nebraska 6, Ottawa o. The sluggers, the
professionals are downed. We immediately
thought of our new chairs that we had bought
this day, would the beys attempt to burn
them too? No, they raked up an old hen
coop somewhere, got some Vanity Fairs out
af their pockets and they (the Vanity Fairs)
were soon nearer heaven than their editor
will ever be. But enthusiasm on Monday
night is different from that on Saturday.
The old bell rung, to be sure, but it sounded
somewhat indisposed. A look at the bonfire
disclosed a few slim, shivering specters up
against the black back ground. A few spas
modic yells, and all was still.
Two hundred enthusiastic students at Stan
ford University have each given $2.50 toward
the construction of a ' 'noise making machine, "
to be used at the next athletic contest between
Leland Stanford and the University of Cali
fornia. It is to be a monster horn worked by
a steam blower, and made of galvanized iron.
It is to be fifty feet in length, with a diameter
of ten feet, and will have a thirty-two horse
power boiler. Ex.
The conscientious freshmen work
To get their lessons tough;
The juniors flunk, the sophomores shirk,
The seniors ah! they bluff. Ex
