8
THE HESPERIAN
H
surely then somo of thom aro taking very
unnecessary precautions. There is just one
explanation loft. They all felt so sorry for
the first follow who yielded to the fashion
able barber, that out of brotherly charity
for him they agreed to share his conspicuity
and his misery. And like all brother phil
anthropists, dress reformors, etc., they for
got to consider the misery of the rest of us
who havo to look at them occasionally.
There is something coming down the
stairs. It is coming loudly and rapidly,
with a swoop and crash. It secerns to have
legs and arms, a great many of them, but
what in the name of John Jones is it ? Bo
careful, get out of the way, it is coming five
steps, six stops, eight steps at a time ! Clear
the track ! Why 1 it's nothing but a boy,
after all. There are whole regiments of them
here now the boyB who come swooping
down the stairs and go swooping up again.
They labor under disadvantages which will
not bo removed until the legislature provides
some other place for the crowds to congre
gate. But still they labor, and it is great
.fun to watch them if you are at a safe dis
tance. They seem to have implicit confi
dence that you will be, and it is best not to
disappoint them. There iB something scien
tifically fascinating about the way they gather
momentum as they sweep on their way.
The only trouble is, that they are a little
in the rough yet. They need encourage
ment and training. They don't quite come
up to their capabilities, which aro about
twenty steps at a time. "Why can't the
professors of acrobatics and gymnastics over
in the armory arrange a course in stair
jumping? It need not bo compulsory. The
aspirants could save all their muscle till class
time. It would be a thrilling sight to see Co.
X come down the stairs twenty steps at a
jump and one to wheel on at the corners.
The stairway, which was wickedly defrauded
of its ancient rights as an acrobatic arena
when John Green nailed those horrid blocks
along the banisters, would regain its old
time glory, and the awkward squad would
never bo hoard of again.
There has boon a great mistake made as
to the duty and mission of the professors of
this growing University. The citizens of the
state think a professor is a grave, gaunt man
with spectacles on the one of his nose, who
sits in his class-room hour after hour and
hears the children recite their little lessons
and looks sternly at the fractious boys and
girls. The regents imagine it the duty of
each professor to manage his own depart
ment. The amiable faculty hold the belief
that their several duties are to teach some
thing less than twenty-five hours a week if
they can. The registrar knows it is the one
priind duty of each professor to send in the
senior's credits. But these dignitaries aro
all at fault. The student body is the court
of decision, and the way they put it is, "The
profs, aro hore to be bored." If you can't
do it during class time, see him later. Wait
ten minutes to ask him whore he said the
lesson was, to toll him your firm conviction
that lie was mistaken on some point in or
thography, to discuss with him whether
Macbeth was a gentleman or a knave, to
make corrections in your Anglo-Saxon gram
mar, do anything you might have and should
have done in class, just to keep him busy and
bored. Prevent him from going to chapel
if you can; stop him in the hall, visit him in
his den, corner him on the stairs and proceed
to make his life one long and tedious boro.
It is what he is here for evidently !
PRELIMINARY DEBATES.
The following are the special rules adopted
by the executive committee to govern the
debates preliminary to the Kausas-Nebraska
debate:
I. There shall be four divisions, or
classes, consisting of eight debaters each, to
be known as division A, division B, division
C, division D. Lots shall determine the
division in which the respective debaters
shall speak.