16
THE HESPERIAN
JUST FOR SPORT.
MISTAKEN.
Freshman Girl. Professor, when will our
themes be returned?
I guess you are mistaken, miss, 1 am only
a senior. My name's Holmes.
Prof. Wilson. In Acts 27 you will find
a description on this same sea.
Virgil Student. Was it the same storm?
German Professor. "Nein! Nein! Nein!
Das mussen sio gar nict sagenl It is not
horse, but gaul a cart horse, a poverty
stricken old nag."
FINISHED.
"Talking about literary style, there goes
a man noted for his finished sentences."
"Indeed? Is ho a novelist?" "No; ho is
an ex-convict."
THEY ALL DO IT.
"People make all sorts of fun about girls
turning the gas down low, when their beaux
come to see them. I never do." "No?"
"No, I put it out."
A GOOD BOY.
Farmer Hay. "How is your son getting
along in college? "
Farmer Straw. "He hasn't said much
about his school work, but he writes that
he's got lots of friends there."
Farmer Hay. "That'siencouragin'. That
shows he ain't had to borrow money yet.
The latest fad among the athletic boys is
to wear their sweaters to class. Perhaps
they think the smiles of the girls are those
of admiration, but they aren't. Boys look
bad enough in regular costume without going
to this extra trouble.
HE HAD.
He. "By Jove! You know, upon my
word, if I wore to see a ghost, you know, I
would be a chattering idiot for the rest of
my life."
She. "Haven't you seen a ghost? "
THEY DON'T WEAE 'EM NOW.
It is reported that since the professor of
graphics has given permission to all the bald-
headed young men in his class, to wear thoi
hats while drawing, an unusual luxuriant
growth of hair has sprung up in that quarter.
an "effect."
Shakespeare Prof. "The effect of this
knocking at the gate is certainly very wond
derful." Carpenter (above). "Thump, thump,
thump, thump! "
The "effect" is observed.
CHEEKY.
She " What a lovely rose! What would
you say if I asked you to give it to me ? "
He. "I would say it was like your
cheek."
The female giant at the dime museum
married the India rubber man, because she
wanted somebody she could twist around her
fingers.
"This is very alarming," said the old
man, as he got up at four o'clock in the
morning and throw the humming clock over
into the next yard.
"Are you sure that Miss L. is eighteen ? "
"Let me think. Yes, she was twenty-one
three years ago."
We understand that Mr. Sedgwick is a
charter member of Miss Anita Muir's fra
ternity. THE SAME THING.
Ouatoraer. "Have you a copy of 'Fif
teen Decisive Battles' ? "
Book agent. "No, sir; we are sold out,
but we can give you ' Reflections of a Mar
ried Man.' "
Times are certainly getting worse, Even
the days are short.
She tripped down the stair and answered
the postman's knock, for she was expecting
letters far too precious to be instrusted to
footman or maid. " What have we here ? "
she inquired smilingly, as she took the mis
sives, "billet doux?" "Not exactly,
miss," replied the now letter carrier, with
a blush, " my name's Bill Dooloy."