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II I --
TEE HESPERIAN
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mystery. Of course, some low women have
suffered that much in their lives, but it has
come to them slowly through long years.
But that any mortal woman can get up and
run the whole gauntlet of human suffering
in two hours and a half seems incredible.
And the kinds and sorts and species and
varieties of agony that she does manage to ,
rako into it: There is the physical agony of
her disease, tho agony of her love, the agony
of her self-contempt, tho agony of her
blasted hopes. It seems as though she fills
the play full of the quintessence of all human
agony and leaves nothing out. But when
we look over the list of her plays and see
what sh6 puffers as Cora, as Odette, as Leah,
as Miss Moulton, one wonders what she is
made of. All tho most awful stage suffer
ing, mental, moral, physical, she has pre
sented. It seems as though somebody ought
to sit down and invent a new kind of suffer
ing for Clara Morris to suffer. And the
sjtrange part of it is she really suffers, her
acting is great, not because it is natural, for
it is not natural, ordinary normal women do
not and cannot suffer that way, but because
it is Clara Morris. Of course there is art
and labor at tho bottom of it all, but one
does not think of art when they see her act
any more than they stop to moralize on cause
and effect when they see real human anguish.
In a sketch written long ago. Mr William
Winter Bays of Clara Morris: "She was
mournfully lovely to tho eye and her pic
turesque loveliness was surcharged with
passionate tenderness." I say it was writ
ton a long time ago, for it must have been
many, many years ago that Clara Morris
possessed "picturesque loveliness." That
she can make one endure her pounds of
flesh, her mouth and her unspeakable eyes
is tho chief proof of her art.
Tally-ho parties from tho Palladians, Beta
Theta Pi's and tho Sigma Alpha Epsilo'n's
"took in" tho Kansas foot-ball game. This
is an excellent way to advertise it through
out tho city.
WASTE BASKET WAIFS.
Tho awkward squad is drilling. At last
tho poor follows are learning what to do with
their hands and feet, a thing nature forgot
to teach them. Tho captain yolls "March."
They know that moans to move their foot.
They move them so fast that tho captain has
to run to keep up with his squad. They hold
thoir arms down at their sides; they do not
let them hang, but hold them as if they were
sticks. They turn the palms of their hands
out and hold tight to their fingers as if they
were afraid of losing them somewhere on
the campus. They stretch their necks and
hold their heads high and "keep their chins
on a level with their noses" whatever that
moans. Tho captain yolls, "Halt! " They
stop thoir foot and unscrew their tingors a
little. Then tho captain teaches them some
Delsarto movements, some bonding and
bowing, some stretching of the arms, some
lifting of tho feet, some general exercises
for the further cultivation of awkwardness.
Then thoy march again and halt again aud
turn all of the three wrong directions when
tho captain yells "Face." But they are
learning, and perhaps by Christmas they will
bo as awkward as the most ambitious cap
tain could desire.
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it is time for somebody to write a book on
"Cribbing as a Fine Art," and to start to
tutoring in the use of the poney. There is
no reason why ponoying should not bo made
a matter of systematic mental exercise and
development as well as anything else. Tho
only reason that its benefits and advantages
have not been universally felt and recognized
is that it is not practiced regularly and as
siduously enough. In tho firsc place, stud
onts must get over tho idea that ponoying is
play. It is not, it is work, work that re
quires tact and brains and ingenuity. A
dumb student can't poney, he has to get his
lessons in the old grinding fashion. It takes
time and talent and practice to ponoy.
In tho matter of cribbing essays for in
stance, hero are a few simple hints that may
h
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