The Hesperian / (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1899, October 16, 1893, Page 16, Image 16

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16
THE HESPERIAN
NOT TO BE REflD.
bill's presumption.
Bill. Say, givo mo a lift on this trig.,
Our only request to the reader is not to can't you?
mistake this column for "sand-burrs."
DREADFUL TO THINK OF.
If haste makes waste, just comprehend
What bushels those create,
Who rise at 7:40 and tend
Their morning class at eight.
The surest way to make one refuse to rec
ognize you is to lend him your umbrella.
ONE MIGHT KNOW IT.
Jim Sun weed. What's the principal dish
at your boarding club?
Jacky NapeB. Tongue. Three Bopho
mores dine there.
Silence may bo golden, but in the recita
tion room it seems brazen.
HER REASON.
Sophy Moore. What makes Miss X
always wear a demi-train? They went out
of style long ago.
June Yoore. She wears number nine
shoes. I've seen 'em.
When Milton wrote his celebrated simile
about Yallombrosa and the autumnal leaves,
he was not thinking about the faculty and the
chapel rostrum..
"All sorts and all conditions of men,"
murmured the professor gleefully as ho ran
over his examination list.
Jack. Shut up for goodness' sake. How
am I to finish this essay on "Always Lond a
Helping Hand," if you don't padlock your
jaw?
TO BE FEARED.
Prof. Bessoy's board is very gay,
Bnt yet if all wore worn that way .
One fears that neckties never viewed
Would tumble into desuetude.
HE WAS A NEW STUDENT.
Freshio, (looking up from his history les
son). I wonder if a tyrant can ever bo truly
happy?
Soph. Easy enough to find out.
Freshio. How ?
Soph. Go and ask the night watchman.
VERY SAD.
Wantsum Mooro. Isn't that strange
about Bill Smith's eyes? They used to bo
blue, and last week they changed to a deep
chestnut.
Lots Mooro. Poor follow. Ho read the
' ' Sand-burr' ' column in the JV- n.
ANOTHER TRAGEDY.
They found him lying there quite dead,
And cold; he'd slipped and cracked his
Cerebrum, as he wildly fled
To got away before, 'tis said,
The glee club started practice.
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