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THE HESPERIAN
of a modol hostelry, and an elucidation of
the monetary mystery hidden in a la carte
and table l?hotc, this country jako wont to
the art galleries. There ho surely found
education. Art! O sublime art, consisting
partly of what one porson was so rude as to
call "doadors and bathroom ladies." He
thought of standing up for the effete upon
hearing this, but decided to lot the effete
stand in its own shoos, whenever the artist
had been kind enough to provide such ap
parel. In his walk, ho always stopped be
fore the pictures that covered largo spaces
and looked ordinary, for ho was well enough
versed in art lore to know that those were
the ones to bo admired and remembered.
Especially acute was his observation of the
gems that had rugs spread beneath thorn.
It is so nice of the Exposition management
, to. inform Americans so subtly whore the
exquisite hangs. It enables them to go
homo and talk advisedly and intelligently of
what they are ignorant about.
Jakey remained in the art palace just as long
as his horror of the Wellington Catering
company's awful aggregation of Irish beauties
held the supremacy in his mind. Then ho
gradually weakened, and no sort of art but
the art of cookery had the least particle of
charm for him. There wore some cute
Dutch girls, but they sold chocolate only,
and man cannot satiate exposition hunger by
chocolate alone, oven if it is served by the
sweetest girls in the dearest little cups,
There was" no use in talking, ho just had
to get into the Plaisance. He lodged just
outside it, across the street, and his ears had
been regaled for two nightB by the cow-boll-like
strains from the Javanese orches
N tra. So ho went, drawn into the whirlpool
of students of the queer, on his third day.
That night ho was a poorer but a wiser man.
The place where Princess Eulalia consumed
her cheese and beer was quite interesting, as
also was the place where ladies from the
Orient calesthenicked. He was forcibly re
minded that tho minister to Dahomey in
Hoyt's 'Texas Steer" would not have been
- much out of place in the Dahomey village.
In tho Moorish palace man's, many-sided
character was made apparent. It is modern
progrossivonoss indeed to make- one porson
equal two hundred. But tho noiso, the
blowing of one toned ear-splitters, tho seem
ing onjoyment of tho ugly mugged proteges
of tho Geary law as they succeeded in smok
ing an opium soaked cigarette at the same
time that they made the most infernal din
that was being dinned anywhere in the vi
cinity, struck the visitor with admiration.
If anything can be produced more abject
than a Columbian Chinese tom-tom beater,
it must bo tho tom-tom beater's father.
It takes a long time to go through the
Plaisance, and a still longer time to get a
person to confess that ho has been through
it in its entirety. Our friend was too mod
est to say ho saw all, but to judge from Iris
reticence one would conclude he had been
through with a vengeance. In hio account
book, Plaisance day is a blank with a soli
tary total. This may explain something.
That part of one which walks, gets mighty
tired at tho fair, and that part of one which
eats, gets very little exercise unless it has a
stand-in with that part of one which audits
tho accounts. That part of one which sleeps
gets tho most exercise, because it tackles one
when he is down. It is 9:59 on tho morn
ing after Plaisance day. Jakey still sleeps.
Don't rouse him. He might have a large
radiated iron mechanism among his choicest
thoughts.
Many students whoso classes occur at un
fortunate hours are suffering from total
abstinance from dinner. Wo would suggest
that in tho lino of her official duties Miss
Kate Wilder tie sent about from class to
class with a cruise of oil and a little ground
meal and other light refreshments to keep the
students alive during dinner hour. We
would suggest that an assistant bo procured
for Miss Wilder, as it will cortainly require
a great deal of "physical training" to make
up for tho loss of dinner. "
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