THE HESPERIAN
15
WASTE-BASKET WAIFS.
The most amusing thing yet is to see the Fresh
men in politics. Great, long, serious faces, discus
sions about principle, diatribes about cantankerous
idiots on opposite sides, manly feelings of just
indignation against unmanly feelings of unjustly
considered just indignation, and all over a presi
dent. Let the good work continue. Perhaps,
we may, by practicing in such scraps, be able to
prick Cotner with a point of order in the next
oratorical convention.
flipping pennies in the Hesperian office, or gos
siping in the halls, he is as happy as that hour is
long. As the sensational novels say, "He is glad
for very joy of being."
By some of the older and more stringent mem
bers of the faculty die habit of "skipping class" is
discouraged. This puritanical spirit will surely
die out in a few years, and the professors will soon
see that if there is any one thing that makes a
student reali.e that time has an actual, specific and
intrinsic value, it is the habit of "skipping class."
The professors in the history departments take
especial delight in referring to the themes that
they have caused to be given students to write up
before the end of the year. These interesting
topics are well called "laboratory work in history."
They are, no doubt, very beneficial. We, how
ever, object 'to having them mentioned with
peculiar gusto just before a paltry five days vacation. '
We are able to bear the thorns in our sides as long
as they remain stationary; but when they are
twisted and forced in deeper in such a manner as
to destroy our appreciation of this mundane
sphere for five days devoted by the faculty to the
enjoyment of life, we raise one lone, plaintive, un-
controlable howl.
Of all the rules and instructions in the study of
rhetoric, the most senseless and unwarrantable is
that forbidding the use of puns. Just why every
other form of wit except this is welcomed in writ
ing is to me most unaccountable. It is simply
the artificial exaction of so-called culture.
"Puns are cheap wit." What if they are?
Everybody can breath the air; but the air is not
therefore worthless. It does not take a Beetho
ven to compose "Yankee Doodle," but "Yankee
Doodle" has its importance. But puns are not
characteristic of little minds. The habitual pun
ster can find treasures in Shakespeare, in Milton,
and even in the Bible. To be sure, an excessive
use of this form of wit is as disgusting as the ex
cessive use of any other, but a neat pun is one of
the merriest and most innocent sources of fun.
Ever since I have been at the University, J
have daily heard the name of John Green. Every
Friday night at society, I hear the strains of that
melodious song, "John Green." Every time I
ask to have the steam turned on in Union hall, I
hear the steward mutter something about John
Green. Now, as long as I have been here, I
have never seen John Green in the flesh. He
has become to me a sort of vague, visionary
ideal, like King Arthur and Sir Launcelot. 1
always think of that mysterious mechanic as a
sort of Vulcan, who- does not deign to mingle
with men any more, though he still controls the
powers that be, and gives us steam when he sees
fit. If some day this mythical survivor of the
heroic age could be exhibited to the students in
chapel, so that all might look upon the reality
which has so long been but a dream, I believe
that there would be a renewal of intellectual life
from the Senior class to the Prep, department.
Ordinarily, we think very little about time as
being valuable in itself; we value it only for what
we can do it it. But let a student "skip" class"
once, and that hour of stolen bliss seems to be a
delightful thing in itself. It does not matter in
the least how he spends those sixty minutes;
whether in reading the newspapers in the library,
In one of our walks about the corridors ot the
University, we came upon a gloomy individual
who appeared lost, as if his last friend, and
never expected to have another. Seeing Ly his
countenance that his thoughts, if left to wander
unrestiicted, would eventually lead him to a sui
cide's giae, we questioned him and found that
the deaitst friend l.ehcd.theone he had taken to
show after show, the one on uhem he had
squandered money, the one whem he had reason
to Leliue was really his, had gien her extia gm
nasium txhiliticn tickets to her brother, mother,
and little sister, respectively. hen we learned
this, we shared his sorrow. Should two graves
be found, in the near future, side by side, we ask
a pitying world to paint two bleeding hearts on a
board and place said board between said graves,
so that the heedless, rtw.r-less, but once not
ticketless, girls may know, and, for once, deprive
the boys ol the pkasure of feeling that it is more
blessed to give than to receive.
