THE HESPERIAN
13
authorities of that country that he does not think
it wise to do so. Even from this distance, it is a
disadvantage to the exiles whom he wishes to be
friend to show them any interest. A letter to his
friends in the Czar's dominions is liable to get
them into trouble.
He An agnostic, my dear, is one who knows
nothing.
She I see. You refer to the youth fresh from
college.
He Or, rather, I should say, one who does
not claim to know anything.
She Ah I then of course I'm wrong. No,
you cannot mean the youth fresh from college.
Transcript.
Our wise contemporary is pleased to rank our
highly esteemed business manager and oursclf
among the poets. Such recognition of exalted
merit is greatly appreciated. We owe too much
to the kind hand that wrote a certain couplet in
the last Nebraskan to say anything by way of
ciiticism in return. We would, however, recom
mend one thing to his honor, the sand-burr artist.
Tread lightly the paths that lead to room 25.
Little Sing Yek (a Hong Kong lad) Hi-ya,
Vang Lee ! Heap muchee big bug hoppec outee
hole in glound ? Comee see !
The Big Bug (speaking English) Aw ! Come
oft"! I'm no bug. I am the frog that, according
to the arithmetic, fell into the well many, many
long years ago and tried to get out by jumping
up ten feet each day and falling back thirteen.
It has been a long, tiresome journey, but I'm
thankful to say I'm here at last.
Mrs. Deland, who wrote "John Ward, Preach
er," has been the celebrity of the Deland family.
Mr. Lorin F. Deland might have been best known
generally as Mrs. Deland's husband, even about
Boston, had he not invented a foot-ball trick.
The evolution of the "flying wedge," with a
"funnel for the runner," from a scheme of theory
into a telling evolution of the goaled field, has
made Mr. Deland a man whose name is spoken
and written about as much and as widely as .his
wife's was after her book was published. Celebrity
has wide differences of origin. It is humorously
suggested that Harvard ought to make Mr.
Deland a doctor of law? at the next commence
ment. Worcester Gazette.
The following is a specimen of printers' techni
cal terms; it doesn't mean, however, all it would
seem to the uninitiated: "William, put General
Washington in the galley, and then finish the
murder you commenced yesterday. Set up the
ruins of Herculaneum, and distribute the small
pox; you need not finish that run-away match,
but have the high water in the paper this week.
Put a new head to General Grant, and lock up
Jeff Davis; slide that old dead matter into hell,
and let that pie alone until after dinner. You
can put the Ladies Fair to press, and then go to
the devil and put him to work on Deacon Fogy'.s
article on ' Eternal punishment.' " Notre Dame
Scholastic.
Every once in a while, an exchange editor,
tiring of the same old stale jokes and news that
appear in the various college papers, vents his
wrath on the yielding air. Because every paper
is not filled with new material is no sign the paper
is not up to the times. If the fact vt hat a Chinese
woman is studying at Ann Arbor appears 468
times in as many papers, this is but a sign that
46S editors are finding out a bit of news that is,
of itself, interesting. The college paper is gotten
out chiefly for its subscribers and not for its ex
changes. 01 course, the sooner the 468th editor
finds out the news, the better editor he is. He
has a right, however, to publish whatever has not
appeared in his paper before, for the majority of
college students or, at least, the great minority are
not careful readers of the daily newspapers at
their command.
Why's a poodle on an iceberg like unto a fleeting kiss,
Which some day you get by fortune from a sixteen year
old miss ?
Don't you know ? Then I'll tell you so you needn't
ask me twice.
Both are really can't you see it? very awfully dog on
ice.
THE KIN UK SIECLK GIRL.
"What do you know, oh, maiden fair ?"
"Oh, I know much," she made reply;
"1 know of Homer and Moliere;
I can make poetry if I try,
Or send sonatas with a crash
Out of my three-legged parlor grand;
Play Wagner with terrific dash,
And 'Home, Swee) Home,' with my left hand;
Also can I whenever I please,
Variegate the general din,
Removing with dispatch and ease
Concertos from my violin;
I know talking, dancing. Kant,
Zoology and how to box.
And the name of every plant;
The solstices and equinox.
The only things I do not know,
Are how to cook and how to sew. Ex.
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