The Hesperian / (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1899, April 01, 1893, Page 10, Image 10

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"How is it these bills are so very wet?"
Asked the manager, with a vim ;
"Oi guess," said the witty janitor,
"There's that much due on thim."
After a careful perusal of our exchanges,
it is our opinion that college enthusiasm in
many institutions is at an ebb. The general
cry of college editors is "be up and doing.
There are trees in California so tall that
it takes two men and a boy to look to the
top of them. One looks till ho gets tired
and another commences where he left off.
The man who is curious to see how the
world can get along without him, can find
out by sticking a needle into a mill-pond and
then withdrawing it, and looking at the hole
it left in the pond.
A literary Frenchman, after studying Eng
lish for a few months, wrote to an American
friend: "In small time I can learn so many
English as I think I will come at the Amer
ica and go on the scaffold to lecture. ''
If there should bo another flood,
Quickly to my Greek I'd Hy;
For if all else should be engulfed,
Anabasis would still be dry.
The University of Michigan is going to
improve its foot ball team. Five hundred
dollars have been subscribed for the ex
penses of next year's coaching, and a mass
meeting of the students is to be hold to raise
more money.
At the University of Chicago no excuses
will bo asked for or granted, and if at the
end of a year a man has charged to him
thirty absences, he will be required to take
an extra minor to cover (hem. If there are
only twenty-nine nothing will bo said of
them. Exchange.
An export mathematician has boon figuring
on foot-ball, which is apparently becoming
the principal study at most of our col logos:
Ho says the energy in the average game, if
applied to the plow, would break up twenty
acres of tho heaviest soil known in this
country. No time should bo lost in sending
information to tho fathors of foot-ball play
ers. Sunday Globo.
Elsewhere in this department, havo boon
given a few samples of collogo vorso. Tho
reader must judge for himself whether they
will endure forever or will havo to bo on
dured. The predominant topic for poots to
onlargo upon seems to bo love. Wo hope
that none of the young poets over marry
while in the mood that inspires somo of their
offusions; for in that case thoy would most
surely need a divorce coupon attached to
their marriage certificate.
If an S and an I and an O and a IF,
With an X at the end spell SU,
And and E an a Y and an E spell I,
Pray what is a speller to do ?
Then if also an S, an I and a G
And an HED spoil cide,
There is nothing much left for a speller to do
But to go and commit siouxeyesighed.
On Monday the house of representatives
in committee of the whole passed tho bill
giving tho University 70,000 for buildings
and 25,000 for sundry expenses. Tho bill
was easily passed, and tho feeling is that the
senate will act favorably on it somo time to
day. Tho enormous growth of the Univer
sity has made this increase necessary and the
.Journal is ploasod to see that our legislators
take such an interest in state educational
matters. Kansas Students Journal.
We clip tho following from "Reflections
on Life at Harvard," given in the Fayette
"Intellectually considered, Harvard can
not bo too highly recommended, but out of
the 3,300 students tho Y. M. O. A. has less
than fifty members in regular avorago atten
dance. Chapel servico is voluntary, about
two hundred going each morning. Literary
and debating societies amount to but little.
Loss than four per cont of tho students take
part in them.
My ebsay for Professor Grind,
Much praise I thought would for me win,
But life is short and soon I find,
Decomposition has set in, Brunonian,
She's my Sandwich,
I'm her ham,
She's my Lillie,
I'm her Sam.
Soon I'll annex her,
You may bet
Little Hawaii
Will be my pet. Ex.