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12
THE HESPERIAN.
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A VUlnn.
As I lay on my bed in the quiet of night,
And the lire through the room shed a faint, flickering light,
My mind into dreamland away took its flight,
And I saw a (lelectul)le vision.
I thought that I died and to heaven t went.
.Moreover I died e'er I'd thus to repent,
So up to th j great pearly gates I was sent
To aliide by old Peter's decision,
I entered the boat with the ferryman grim.
J was seized with the thought that my chances were .slim.
Hut out over Jordan I paddled with him,
And soon I was safe on the strand.
I took a street ear for the portals above,
The region of pure, unadulterate love,
Where only he enters who's pure as a dove,
And there I.was met by the band.
The sight of tile angels dispelled all my care,
l'hev played "Annie Kooney," my favorite air,
.And conducted me up to the portals so fair
Where I met old Saint Peter the guard.
Then I wrung Peter's hand and in friendly way .said:
"Ah, Pete, glad to meet you; how long you been dead?
And-nli, have a cigar, Pete?" but Pete shook his head,
And I knew that with me 'twould go hard.
Then Pete said, "I don't know you." "Why is mv name,
I'm a Hoosier by birth, from Nebraska I came,
And though I'm not boastful I think 1 mav claim
That I have a record quite fair;
I never swore, Peter, and never did steal,
For the woes of humanity ever did feel,
ntl for other kind acis I don't care to reveal
Why you just better let me in there."
But he said, "I can't do it, but don't drop your chin,
Just sit down and wait there until I go in,
And look up your record; you're not a "has been"
If you've told me the truth all along."
Then he went for the ledger; you bet I was sad.
I had told him some lies and I knew he'd be mad,
And give me the very worst dose that he had,
And make that bad dose doubly strong.
Soon Peter returned with a very liig book.
His face wore a scowling and terrible look,
He eyed me so grimly, I in my boots shook,
I was beared so I hardly could stand.
Then he said: "We will hunt up your record, mv son,
We'll look into those kind deeds you say you have doiu
I know you'll enjoy it; 'twill only be fun;"
And his smile was sarcastic and bland.
And he read: "As a boy you were wicked enough,
When you got to be eighteen were terrible tough,
Swore, drank, lied and gambled, but strangely enough
You, in some way, kept out of the pen,
You stole crutches from cripples, you cheated the poor,
You married ten wives, and you tried to allure
One to poison her husband, of that I am sure,
And you went to the old U. of N."
"And so I guess, Charlie, that down you must gu
To the fury depths of the regions below,
Where the chances are small that you'll e'er shovel snow,
And the joys that you'll know there are few.
They'll roast you by night nnd boil you by day,
They won't give you water, they'll make you eat hay,
And down there in hades forever you'll stay
With the rest of your class, "92."
And then of a sudden my heart gave a bound,
I felt the true explanation I'd found
As tohy they would send me so far under ground
With nothing but brimstone to chew.
Twas because in my case they had made a mistake,
They thought I belonged to that monstrous fake,
With the brains of a shrimp and the heart of a snake,
That scab of earth's scabs, "92."
Then I told the old saint all the facts in the case,
I belonged to the class there, the pride of the place,
Compared with whom, others were not in the race.
Our fame goes from sea unto sea,
Our members are leaders wherever they go,
Our boys, they are fast and our girls ore not slow,
To the "92" dead-heads we're ever a foe,
To us "94" bends its knee.
Our ladies, the beauties of parties and balls,
Our men take the lend in c mgressional halls,
To rule this great nation tlu country now calls
That ne pint ultra class, "93."
And then, of a .sudden, the gates open Hew,
Revealing to iiu- a magnificent view.
I saw then the holy, the good, anil the true.
All the glories of heaven above,
And Saint Peter said, "Charlie, we made a mistake,
You didn't belong to that "92" fake,
You belong to a class that a record did make,
So enter the portals of love.
Then heaven I entered and looking around,
Hesideine each one of my classmates I found,
In white robes they were clad and with pearls thewer'cL i1
crowned, , -- -
All others to them bent the knee;
And so up in heaven forever we'll stay,
We'll wear robes and crowns and on golden harps play,
Receiving all homage forever and aye,
we, me worm-ruling class, "93." C. K.
S.
STA'AY PICK-UPS.
Call on Sayer & Sawyer for the blue books.
And the band played "thirty two to nothing."
New students have been registering all thiough the term.
Univcuily boys acted as ushers at the M. E. church
recital.
Many a prep, turned pale when he saw the examination
schedule.
Or. C, E. Spain, 1215 0 Street, eye, car, nose, and throat
specialist.
l A Rockhnld packed hisgiip and went to Kansas City, .
December 5.
Neat cheap binders have been pioctucd for preservation
of magazines.
Miss (note has scarcely been able to attend classes tlic
.past few days.
.Mr. Henlley recently spent a few days in llutler County oil
a business trip.
The announcement of the' 'Lasso" byaid of editors was
a double surprise.
Ask Marlcy if the invention of the compass led to the
discovery of America.
O where was the wheelman who started on the broncho?
The broncho kicked up.
Ask Marlay about invention preceding discovery as
applcd to political economy.
On account of sickness Miss Rose was unable to attend
class Monday, December 14.
Two of Skilcs' Eagle girls came up to visit the university
and take in the benefit concer:.
E. O. Hair, 94, was out of sohool a day or two alter the
cane rush on account of sickness.
Yates is one of the many who hung from the pinnacle of
the east gale by the tail ol his overcoat.
The first thing that Hoaghland did when he arrived was
to scratch the slate; the next to register.
Professor McClalchie, '90, of California, has sent to the
botanical department a box of aquatic and terrestrial plants,
collected by himself and wife in the iswceU days of courtship..
k?
