Ilojio 8irlnjr Nlornnl, Hto.
An old nmld at lonst seventy youri
of ngo wttH lifll)u(l Into a chair In the
ollloo of iv Now Yorlt nolleo justice
Sho wiih very iiiuuh o.vullutl.
Do I unilcrnlnntl you to way Mint
ton think your nooluit wiih picked Iij
i yoimir man wlio sat nlouifsldo of yoi
ui'ii 'I'lilj-tl uvuniio our'.'"
"Yes, I'm sum of lU llo Rqueoir.od
no up In tho corner no Mint 1 uoithl
nenmlv breathe, nnd liu kept tonllinu
t nu, un.i Hinlllnif ut tuo, its If Ik
know iih "
"Why .ltd you permit, lilm todo tliuL
liy did you not complain to tho con
duolor"" linked tin justice.
'I- r --
"Out with It."
"I thonifht perhaps ho wns ho
wns"
"Wns what?"
"Mnlnp to propose to mu," Texas
MftliiRs.
Whom llio Old AliM Uonm In.
"Uo you know, sir," inquired nn
American tourist., 01 ins companion,
while dolnp Ktitflnnd, "ounyou info, in
uie the reason for thin fresh, healthful
nppenranco of tho Kiifjlisli pcopkrf
Their complexion Is fur superior tc
ours, or our countrymen over tho her
rhi pond.'.
'Well. I know what l'rof. Huxley
biiyR. "
"And whut renson doeshondvnnceV"
"Well, Huxley says it Is nil owintf tc
tho old maids."
"Owing' to old mnids! You surprise
me,"
"FpoU Huxley figures it out in this
way: Now, you know tho English nrc
very fond of roust bcof."
"Hut what has that to do with old
maids?"
"(io slow This genuine Kngllsh
beef Is the best nnd most nutritious
beef In the world, and it imparts a
beautiful complexion."
"Well, about the old maids?"
"Yes, you see the excellence of this
hnglish beef is duo exclusively to red
clover. Do you see tho point?"
"All but tho old maids. They are
still hovering in the .shadows."
"Why, don't yon see? This red clover)
is enriched, sweetened and fructified
by bumble bees."
"Hut where do tho old maids conic
in?" said the inquisitive American,
wiping his brow wearily.
" hy it is as plain as tho nose on
your face, Tho enemy of tho bumble
bee is the field mouse."
' Hut what have roast beef, red
clover, bumble bees and Held mice got
to do with old mnids?"
"Why, you must be very obtuse.
Don't you perceive that tho bumble
bees would soon become exterminated
by the Held mice if it were not for"
Old maids?"
No. if it were not for eats, null tho
old maids f old England keep tho
countrv thoroughly stocked up with
cat,, and so wo ean directly trace tho
effect of the rosy English complexions
to tlu benign cause of English old
maids, at least, that's whnt Huxley
sas about it, and that's just whore
the old maids comoin. Science makes
clear many mysterious things, and
don't you forget it."
Have you seen the now model No. 2
Smith Premier typewriter? If not call
In at 13T. South Elovonth street and
examine it. C. "W. Kokorman agent.
lie Knew IIM IIurIiii'm.
"Ynu nri- tho man!" he said, as ho
loanM forward In the street car nnd
point.-d ills dnioT to the complacent and
e K-s.itlM.fd lokiiiK passenger oppo-Pit-
""U are the man who prediotod
las o. tuber that we would havo a mild
wint. r' "
I did." renlted the mnn.
we had a terrible winter In
.sifter
poot will
havo Ills Idyl
The busiest
moment i
A nhort method of manmirlng timber
Is by tmw-liurnrlthniH,
TIioiikIi ii man may not Uko littHlnem.
he xliiuild he btiRlnessllke.
It li nn wonder college nion Ihvihuo
fust. Thoy Indulgo In a rush so nHi n.
KIhIi, n a rule, drink water, hut u
Jhnrk dnean't object to n nip oppimhui
ally.
It Is n sad fate for tho Holf-nuide mnn
to bo tied for life to tho tullor-mnde
lrl.
The angler Urst Hph In wait for his
en tell nnd then Ilea In weight of lilt
Jut eh.
The time Is hero when the family
mnn who does not know how to bent
onrpei will have an opportunity to
Ion ru.
The bubble of nn Infnnt may be the
langtiRjre of tho angels, but without an
Interpreter It sounds like tho slbilnnt
sob of n mush kettle.
The loafer naturally Kots the credit
of being on amiable person, lie has
lime to listen to everybody's ptory nnd
la never In u hurry.
A lintel-keeper In Florida olTers a re
ward of $R for the best treatise on "How
to Mnke Outdoor Life Attrnctlvo to tho
Miisnultn."
"Theae are hard times," sighed the
young collector of bills; "every placo 1
went today I was requested to call
nKitlu. but one, nnd that was when I
dropped In to see my lrl."
A well-known lawyer declared one
day at a dinner that the biggest thing
lie had ever done was to cross-examine
a man until he did not know whether
lie wns married or not.
If people could only "benr one an
other's burdens," ns the scripture com-
mnnds. the world would be hnpplor.
Other people's burdens nro always so
inucii lighter Hum our own.
i he inrnier," says an exchange, "Is
the most Independent man on earth."
lust so. See how he works all summer
nvd steps Into a bank in tho fall and
p-is the Interest on tho mortgage.
.is SIfttugs.
Francis brothers, proprietors of tho
Capital Cafe, havo purohascd a new
coffee urn and are now prepared to
dispense a delicious cup at any time of
night or eay.
If you got up too late for broakfast
Sunday morning, come down to Francis
Bros.' restaurant, 127 no. 11th and get
a plate of cukes nnd coffe. Special of
fer to students for ten days. X $1.10
ticket for SO cents.
DR S. E COOK EYE EAR, NOSE
and throat. OIHco rooms, 43 nnd 41
Burr Bile. Hours, 0-1J, 2-o.
The Lincoln news agency, headquar
ters for news, magazines nnd novels.
Harper's Century, Munsey's, Scrlbner's,
Cosmopolltnn and othor periodicals nl
tvays In stock. N. E. comer Eleventh
and O streets, Itichnrd block, J. E.
Pearson, manager.
Don Cameron's lunoh
South Eleventh strcot.
countor, IIS
Bt'
you are no prophet."
-why did you make
Yes.
Put
y.-s
"And
"N..."
"Then why, slr-aur-h
a prediction?
" s a matter of business. I am In the
coal trade, nnd It was my duty to keep
people from running off to Florldn to
esrape a hard winter!"
"Put. sir, but"
"Oh! we shall have a long, hot sum
mer, and if you want fly-screens please
call around! I am going Into that
line tor the season!" Detroit Herald.
Puillngton's personally com uctcd
excursions io Utah nnd California. A
Pullir.in tourist sleeping car will leave
Lincoln every Thursday at 12:in .p.
in. for Denvor, Salt Lake. Ogden, San
Francisco nnd Los Angolos. Only Jf
for a double berth Lincoln to Los An
golos in one of these cars. Remember
thora is no change of cars. For full In
formation nnd tickots apply at llur
llngton & Missouri depot or city ticket
olllce, comer Tonth and O streets.
G. W. Bonnell, C. P. & T. A.
At 12U O street you will find Hay-
I den's photograph gallery. We are
ready to handle tho rush at the close of
the college year. Examine some of our
work.
Nebraska Stoam Dye
and
Cleaning Works
Genllomen's Suits and Overcoats
LADIES1 DRUSS GOODS,
SHAWLS, CLOAKS, ETC.
Clemiwl. Dyed, nnd Piord to Kipinl New.
l'nst Colon, Mlllinty Suits Spoclnl l'rlcoi,
KcpnlrliiR n Sp clnlty,
Promptly nail Neatly Uouo.
liU N, 11 at. O. 11. OAl'llON, Prop.
If you want a Suit MaiIo, go to
G. K I ILK US,
13hc Popular bailor
Kopulrlng Nootly Done.
Ovor Wohlonborg's Clgnr Sloro
120 South 11th St.
C. H. FREY.
WIioIcmIo mill Kctnll
STORE
1131 O ST.
Telsphono S03.
GREEN HOUSE
Mth Throo Weeks
South ot South St,
Telcphono 672,
'3HOXS ilVOID' iX3f!V SiAMVlO
osjs Wl'vK lit
v tin Piliu Indian
julip juo puy
1IA no.
iSAOa AVS
Roy's Drug Store
Cor. 10th and P Sts.
FINE STATIONERY, STUDENTS' TABLETS,
Fountain l'cn, base It.ill Goods, llammo.ki
I'isiiliiK Tackle, lite.
HliST IKUATMKNT. UlvST I'KICU.
S. E.IIOY, Cox. 10th and F Sts.
Nebraska Tent
and Awning Go.
136-8 N. 11 St.
Tent Tor Kent.
The "Hotel Lincoln,"
f : n
1
Mrs. Blnkle (alarmed In the early
morning by the furious barking of the
dog In the backyard) Uutllan! brigand!
be off. or III call the police'
Mr. Blnkle (who has boon to a mas
querade and got full) Don't be f-frald.
Mrs. Blnkle. It's me. Played Turk at
'er (hie) Mas'erade, an' thought I'd
take 'er Turk'sh bath!
Ills IH-preMdnj; Thought.
He had been silent In thought for
some time. At length ho heaved a sigh,
which moved his friend to inquire what
the trouble was.
"This world ain't run right," he an
swered. "Why, you ought to be happy. You've
been away enjoying yourself, I under
stand." "Yes. I've beon away, but I don't
see much enjoyment not in a world
where the fish are so shy about bltln'
an' tho mosquitoes so eternally wlllin'."
Washington Star.
wUMvwaai. .-w . .
WEBSTER'S ;
INTERNATIONA L i
MtrX1'Zm.DICTlONAR Y S
A Grand hducatKr, ' i
Succctwproftlio i
' Unabridged."
Standard nf tlie
P. 8. io"t Print
liiK Onice. tlict'.S.
Suprt'iiu't'oiirt mul
f marly nil tho
ScliooluooliS.
Warmly enjii-moiidc-d
by oxcry
Stato buj irliiten
dent of ScIiooIb,
and other lMnra-
I S Jtorwr' t tors allllost lth-
A Collrgo President irrltcs: "Tor
'case with vrhlch the ejo finds tho
' word souglit, for accuracy of dcfliil-
"tlon, for effect ivo methods In lndl
" eating pronunciation, for torso yet
" comprehensive statements of fnctn,
"and for practical use. us n. working
"dictionary,' "Webster's International'
" excels any other single volume."
Tho Ono Great Standard Authority,
Bo writes Hon. n. J. Ilrewir, Justice U. S.
Supremo Court.
G. & C. SmimiA.31 CO., Xtbltahcra,
Sprlngtield, STasa., U.S.A.
iWSenl to the pnblUliera for free pamphlef.
jv ,v ww wv,F i:iitiiia vi uucieui euiuons.
a
LINCOLN, NEB.
f; knuni'. .t;0 per day
11. II. I'lorco hnndlcs tho Dayton
wheel, uloyolo HUndrlos anil repairs, 144
North 'I'hlrteonth strcot, llnltcr Mock,
TIJp 1 HAS BEEN RE-OPENED BY
rM-n t ' Francis Bros.
UAfllAL
CAFE
I
THE MOST CONVENIENT PLACE FOR STUDENTS
OPEN ALL NIGHT.
:j Oysters and ame in Season.
121 North Eleventh Street.
SHORT ORDERS OUR SPECIALTY. -:- GIVE US A TRIAL.
3tcpcminc 9lcalftj Douc,
129 South 12th St,
your pBjoto.
12 CABINETS ONLY
$1.00 WORTH $3.00.
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Call and see Samples.
FREWlTTs 126 O St.
TWO TRAINS DAILY
BETWEEN
-AND-
Auburn, Falls City,
Atchison, St. Joseph,
and Kansas City.
City Ticket Office, 1201 0 Street.
H. C. TOWHSEHD, Oea'l P. & T. A.
r. x. conxTELi,, o. p. & t. a
W. O. Forues' rellaljle hack and car
iiae lino. Telephone 31, 131 North
Eleventh.
Thi
Cor. 14th & M
T
bait BathvS. f-s N
Streets.
LINCOLN,
EBRASKA.
OPFN AT Al I uniioi- ... .
SULPHO-SALINE BATH HOUSE AND SANITARIUM
cVWKM "EMr ,r,Ci (w,,h ",o,.,n, "M'n,,", ,o t,",1 nppU-
o lllieumntlsni, Nurvoun Ulfflcultle. nn 1 1 manv oiw ii '""" ",,r'"'-r'-'- "" h-o water, (or Uio euro
Plots In the world SKA J AT IHM Tli Ilntli Mongol tlio most cum-
Water Swl.nmlnK Pool, tOxltO IodrS t?ft d..n,0,?5 V" Bea".,.n' ,n our lnre' mnimm ut Snlt
iuujj, o io iv k aeej), lieated to a uniform tumperuture of 8U uegri