The Nebraskan. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1892-1899, May 01, 1896, Image 4
A Futiiro Convenience. Dlgglcs hnd been working hard for a long tlmo with a refractory heating apparatus. Ho camo out of tho bnso tnent with blue Angers and a red noso, and an expression of repressed emotion on his free. 'Maria," ho said, "there's ono com fort about it." "What Is It?" "We needn't worry about lco next summer. 1 think I hnvo struck a plan that'H entirely reliable If wo want to get anything good and cold wo'll take It down and put It Into that heating apparatus. Only wo must bo careful not to leave It too long, or It'll frcezo." C nclnnatl Commercial-Gazette. I'crlintm lln Tlml Horn Kitltiff Onions lie You refuse to nccopt my lovo? Lot me toll you I have turned tho head t many a lmndsome womnn In my day. SheI bolleve It, since I have turned my head nwiy whenever you look at me. Time Urine (MmiiRCM. Husband ("hose wlfo has been ro provinK him for smoking In hrr pvos ener) Voit often usod to say before wo wore married, "Oh. George, I do so love the odor of a good cigar." Wife Yes, that sort of thing Is part of a young lady's capltnl. Missionary Did you notice which way my colleague went? Cannibal He just passed down flva minutes ago, Folly am I; This Is my day. Tho old, tho young, The gravo, the gny, Abldo awhile with mo to cheer Tho world's dull, humdrum way. Tho richest mnn, Tho proudest girl; The polished wit, Tho heavy churl Are caught off guard and jostled much In folly's merry whirl. No harm Is meant; All's but for fun; And when tho day Its courso has run, Whoever's done tho mischief gay Have all themselves been "done" DR. S. E. COOK EYE. EAR, NOSE and throat. Olllco rooms, 13 and -11 Burr Bile. Hours, 9-12, 2.,"j. An Obedient Hoy. A friend of mlno has a little boy oalled Robbie, nnd Hobble Is not at all an angel child. Ho Is. In fact, the terror of tho neighborhood. Not long ago his father liougl.t him a bicycle, and Rob ble was more nn object of dread to the neighborhood than ever. One day he was detected In some particularly out rageous act, "ml his fathor, to punish him, forbade him to ride tho bicycle for a whole week. Robblo promised, but as his father ncred the home next day ho saw his son whirling along on the wheel. "Robbie," said he, more In surrow than In anger, ""idn't I tell you you were not to rldo your wheel for a week?" "Yes, sir," said Robbie, cheerfully, "and I'm not going to disobey you. This Isn't my w' -M. It's one I bor rowed." Wnshlnv n Post. Franols brothers, proprietors of the Capital Cafe, have purchased a new coffee urn and are now prepared to dispense a delicious oup at any time of night or day. "This Infornal dust nuisance must damage you a groat deal," ho said to the grocer as ho dodged Into tho door to let a great cloud roll by. "Oh, no, sir. Anything ndded to maple sugar, prunes, ovar"rated apples etc., Is paid for by the public at so much per pound. I am not doing any kicking." Toxas Sittings. Remember that Francis Bros, have re opened itho Capitol Cafe, 121 North Elovenlth street. Short order meals are their specialty. t ln.it n I.iitilitcr. Wiggles I have Just ono elgnr iero You haven't any objections, hav you? Waggles Xnt If I smoke lt.Somar vlllo Journal. "Now. Charles, let us make a list of your debts." "Ono motnont, dear undo, till T have filled up your Inkstand." Fllegende Ulaetter. lit I'd Just ns lief be bung for n sheen ns n lamb. She-Well, you'll be hutiK tor neither; you'll be hung for a calf or twilling. Yonkers Statesman. Jimmy Tinimy Qrognn Is talkln' of glttln" him n bicycle. Mickey Him? He ain't Rit the prlco for de wind wot gors In de tires. Indianapolis Journnl. Jolirny .Mamma, 1 can count nil tho way up to twelve. Mamma And what comes after twelve, Johnny? Johnny Recess. Harper's Round Table. Attorney You say, when you nsked him for tho money, ho used blasphem ous longungo? Riley I did not, sor. I snld he swore at mo llko a troopor. Harper's Hnznr. Simpson How do you know that your rival and hor fathor will fall out and light? Jlmpson (gleefully) Thoy'vo both joined tho same church choir. Tammany Times. Jones I luar that you have a good organ at your lodgings. IDo you know how many stops It hns? She Only about three a day, and those are not long ones. Roston Globe. Mr. Husy Hody It you hang those turkoys by tho feet you will keop them longer. Mr. Butcher Business That ain't what I'm trying to do. I wnnt to sell 'em. Harlem Life. Mr. Droppln Is Mr Balto In to-day? Mr Unite's Partner No, sir; ho'a down at tho Rangleys. Mr Droppln Ah! Catching fish? Mr. R.'s P. No, : Ir; fishing. Boston Courier. "I will work night and day to make you happy," ho said. "No," she an swered thoughtfully, "don't do that. Just work during the day and stay homo at night." Washington Star. Ouest 1 would like a nice round stenk, rare done, and some fresh fried potntocs. Walter (In stontorlnn voice) Carnage In tho skillet! Frlod Pln groes on the side! Chicago Tribune. "There doesn't soom to bo anything selllsh about that man Plngree," said 1'nclo Allen Spnrks. "In that potato patch scheme of his ho has let every body In on the ground lloor." Chicago Tribune. Mrs. Poormnn This money question niH to bo go'ttlng very bitter. How do you feel nbout it, dear? Mr. Poor mnn Bad onough. Really, I'm all broke up. Cleveland Plain Dealer. A full line of typewriter supplies at tho Smith Premier office, 135 South Eleventh street. Tel. 143. C. W. Ecker man, agent. !.v i 'erveiit Hope, A man meetlnw on the street Henry W. Palno. tho distinguished member of tho Boston bar, addressed him as Mr. D . a mnn of very different reputation "I am not Mr. D ," was the answer "but Mr. Henry W. Palno." "I beg your pardon." said the man, "for making the mistake." "I will excuse you." replied Mr. Palno "but I sincerely hope tho devil will not make the same rrl".i!:i',"-i:x. If you get up too late for breakfast Sunday morning, come down to Francis Bros.' restaurant. 127 no. 11th and cot a plate of cakes and coffo. Special of for to students for ten days. A $1.10 ticket for 80 cents. Howard Thero goes a modern argo naut. Algornon-Whnt golden llccco Is ho after? Howard Old Astorbllt'u owo lamb. Nebraska Steam Dye and Cleaning Works Gentleman's Suits and Overcoats LADIES' DUICSS GOODS, SHAWLS, CLOAKS, ETC. CU-nncd, Dyed, nnd l'reswt to Kiiinl Now. 1'nst Colors. Military Suits Special Prlco. Kcp.ilrhign Specialty. Promptly ami Ncntly Done. 134 N. 11 St. . C. B. CAl'RON. Prop. If you want a Suit Mado, go to C.il'IILKRS, x5hc QPopulat- bailor Repairing Xoatly Done. Ovor Wohlonborg's Cigar Storo 120 South 11th St. C. H. FREY. Wholesale and Retail STORE 113) O ST. Telephone 603. GREEN HOUSE :i5tli Tlireo lllockH Honth of South St. Telephono 572. '3M01S ilVOID XrldV S.AcJVIO 'WWS WT W& III )u dn it(tfu Indian juHp jno pity 1ia noA iSAOa AVS Roy's Drug Store Cor. 10th and P Sts. FINE STATIONERY, STUDENTS' TABLETS, Fountain Pens, Hasc Hall Goods, Ilnmmo.ks Fishing Tncklc, Etc. HKST -IREATMKNT. MiST 1'RICE. S. E. ROY, Cox. lot i and P Sts. JlIlm MfMli Nebraska Tent and Awning Go, 136-8 N. 11 St. Tents for Kent. The "Hotel Lincoln," Matter Ibooe . . . PRINTER 1115 P Street, Lincoln Cards. Programs, in vi "ations Good Work. TrU os Reasonable. A Hoy's ICfTnrt tci Kxpluln Tilings. "Mnmmn, do you llko to kiss Mrs. Jewhlllakor?" "No, dear" "Do you think Mrs. Jowhlllaker likes to kiss you?" "I don't think she (loos." "Then why do you and sho alwaya kiss when you moot?" "I don't know, dear." "Don't you think Mrs. Jowhlllaker would rather you didn't kiss her?" "I have no doubt of It." "Wouldn't you rathor Mrs. Jewhllla ker didn't kiss you?" "Oh, very much!" "Then that must bo why." Chicago Tribune. t Em 0 Abrtat v 4 urana tutucaiar II. 11. Pierce handles tho Dayton wheel, bicyelo sundrloa ftnd repairs, 111 North Thlrtoonth stroot, llnltor block. 1 11 1 CAPITAL, CAFE i HAS BEEN RE-OPENED BY Brands Bros. THE MOST CONVENIENT PLACE FOR STUDENTS '-OPEN ALL NIGHT. Oysters and ame in Season. 121 North Eleventh Street. SHORT ORDERS OUR SPECIALTY. -:- GIVE US A TRIAL. I29 South !2tli St, wi'.-.. WEBSTER'S INTERNATIONAL HrttvNnu. nTinrT 1 -r-T Abr.ast ofth, Tim.JA UiVi"! 11 l Ilnrdor to (lot At. "I suppose thnt It would take a great deal of observation and experience to onnblo a man to pick the fastest horso antered for a race," she remarked. "Yes," replied tho man of mournful 3xporIonco; "but that Isn't what you aro trying to do. What you want la to pick the horso that Is going to win." Vvashington Sfar. Successor of tho " Unabridged." Stiuxliiril nftl-o U. 8. Clm't l'rlnt liiK Ofliro, tliel'.S. 8uiremu Court tun) of nearly all tho BclinolliookB. Viirmly com mended liy every Btnto Bui crimen (lent of BeliiHilB, and other Ktlnrn tors almost with out number. A College President verltegj 'Tor " enno with which tho eyo finds tho " word sought, for ncourncy of drflriU 'tlon, for effective methods In indl 'cntlng itronuncliitlon, for torso yet " voiiijirehonslvo statements of facts, " and for practical uso ns n working " dictionary, 'WouBtor'H Internatlonar " excels any other slnglo volunjo." Tho Ono Great Standard Authority, du wnwa jtun. i'. u. iirowpr. uueuco u. o. Uupreme Court. O. & C. MimniAar CO., rabllnhera, SnrluiMeld. Muss.. U.S.A. V ntwmflMnA In ItiA nill.1lliTa tnr frA mmnM.f J fcir Vo not buy cheap reprints of ancient edluVai, LINCOLN, NEB. 75 Rooms S2.GU per day. your pfytx 12 CABINETS ONLY $1.00 WORTH $3.00. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Call and see Samples. PIJEWlTT, 1216 O St. vOlttfcfc. i.n3STffira TWO TRAINS DAILY BETWEEN :iLxxrooiL,ir AND Auburn, Falls City, Atchison, St. Joseph, and Kansas City. City Ticket Office, 1201 0 Stroot. IT. O, TOWKSEHD, Oen'l P. & T. A. T. D, COKITEIiI., O, 1. ft T. A AV. O. Forties' reliable linolt and car riage lino. Telephone 31, 131 North HIevonth. The Lincoln Salt Baths. Cor. 14th & M Streets. illprl LINCOLN, ?j NEBRASKA. OPEN AT ALL HOURS DAV nn nirut. SULPHO-SALINE BATH HOUSE AND SANITARIUM caVloiTor1 NATUIt a" HAWvATK,i?ATHi "omn"'- "Hh .p.rl.1 ntt.ntlon to II.. nppM. ot lllieiiimtls.ii, NrvnuVu Ifflciilt e i iiml n.inJ V"",1. ,lmea i" '" "" water, for H.e.nre li'ete in th" world 8KA I aTIMnm? ni ?y ot ,er U.Ueu?.B' t h" th Mouse I- tin. most .' Water H mmlDK Pool, m B0 lon a to utt V.VJ,y'"i, ?" ,,ea"Hn ,n 0,,r lur1'' mwinflo nt Hull " ' ,ou 'onH to 10 It Ueep, boated to a uniform tsmperuture of bll dnwrt"" '