A Futiiro Convenience.
Dlgglcs hnd been working hard for a
long tlmo with a refractory heating
apparatus. Ho camo out of tho bnso
tnent with blue Angers and a red noso,
and an expression of repressed emotion
on his free.
'Maria," ho said, "there's ono com
fort about it."
"What Is It?"
"We needn't worry about lco next
summer. 1 think I hnvo struck a plan
that'H entirely reliable If wo want to
get anything good and cold wo'll take
It down and put It Into that heating
apparatus. Only wo must bo careful
not to leave It too long, or It'll frcezo."
C nclnnatl Commercial-Gazette.
I'crlintm lln Tlml Horn Kitltiff Onions
lie You refuse to nccopt my lovo?
Lot me toll you I have turned tho head
t many a lmndsome womnn In my
day.
SheI bolleve It, since I have turned
my head nwiy whenever you look at
me.
Time Urine (MmiiRCM.
Husband ("hose wlfo has been ro
provinK him for smoking In hrr pvos
ener) Voit often usod to say before wo
wore married, "Oh. George, I do so love
the odor of a good cigar."
Wife Yes, that sort of thing Is part
of a young lady's capltnl.
Missionary Did you notice which
way my colleague went?
Cannibal He just passed down flva
minutes ago,
Folly am I;
This Is my day.
Tho old, tho young,
The gravo, the gny,
Abldo awhile with mo to cheer
Tho world's dull, humdrum way.
Tho richest mnn,
Tho proudest girl;
The polished wit,
Tho heavy churl
Are caught off guard and jostled much
In folly's merry whirl.
No harm Is meant;
All's but for fun;
And when tho day
Its courso has run,
Whoever's done tho mischief gay
Have all themselves been "done"
DR. S. E. COOK EYE. EAR, NOSE
and throat. Olllco rooms, 13 and -11
Burr Bile. Hours, 9-12, 2.,"j.
An Obedient Hoy.
A friend of mlno has a little boy oalled
Robbie, nnd Hobble Is not at all an
angel child. Ho Is. In fact, the terror of
tho neighborhood. Not long ago his
father liougl.t him a bicycle, and Rob
ble was more nn object of dread to the
neighborhood than ever. One day he
was detected In some particularly out
rageous act, "ml his fathor, to punish
him, forbade him to ride tho bicycle for
a whole week. Robblo promised, but as
his father ncred the home next day ho
saw his son whirling along on the wheel.
"Robbie," said he, more In surrow
than In anger, ""idn't I tell you you
were not to rldo your wheel for a
week?"
"Yes, sir," said Robbie, cheerfully,
"and I'm not going to disobey you.
This Isn't my w' -M. It's one I bor
rowed." Wnshlnv n Post.
Franols brothers, proprietors of the
Capital Cafe, have purchased a new
coffee urn and are now prepared to
dispense a delicious oup at any time of
night or day.
"This Infornal dust nuisance must
damage you a groat deal," ho said to
the grocer as ho dodged Into tho door
to let a great cloud roll by.
"Oh, no, sir. Anything ndded to
maple sugar, prunes, ovar"rated apples
etc., Is paid for by the public at so
much per pound. I am not doing any
kicking." Toxas Sittings.
Remember that Francis Bros, have re
opened itho Capitol Cafe, 121 North
Elovenlth street. Short order meals are
their specialty.
t ln.it n I.iitilitcr.
Wiggles I have Just ono elgnr iero
You haven't any objections, hav you?
Waggles Xnt If I smoke lt.Somar
vlllo Journal.
"Now. Charles, let us make a list of
your debts." "Ono motnont, dear undo,
till T have filled up your Inkstand."
Fllegende Ulaetter.
lit I'd Just ns lief be bung for n
sheen ns n lamb. She-Well, you'll be
hutiK tor neither; you'll be hung for
a calf or twilling. Yonkers Statesman.
Jimmy Tinimy Qrognn Is talkln' of
glttln" him n bicycle. Mickey Him?
He ain't Rit the prlco for de wind wot
gors In de tires. Indianapolis Journnl.
Jolirny .Mamma, 1 can count nil tho
way up to twelve. Mamma And what
comes after twelve, Johnny? Johnny
Recess. Harper's Round Table.
Attorney You say, when you nsked
him for tho money, ho used blasphem
ous longungo? Riley I did not, sor. I
snld he swore at mo llko a troopor.
Harper's Hnznr.
Simpson How do you know that
your rival and hor fathor will fall out
and light? Jlmpson (gleefully) Thoy'vo
both joined tho same church choir.
Tammany Times.
Jones I luar that you have a good
organ at your lodgings. IDo you know
how many stops It hns? She Only
about three a day, and those are not
long ones. Roston Globe.
Mr. Husy Hody It you hang those
turkoys by tho feet you will keop them
longer. Mr. Butcher Business That
ain't what I'm trying to do. I wnnt to
sell 'em. Harlem Life.
Mr. Droppln Is Mr Balto In to-day?
Mr Unite's Partner No, sir; ho'a
down at tho Rangleys. Mr Droppln
Ah! Catching fish? Mr. R.'s P. No,
: Ir; fishing. Boston Courier.
"I will work night and day to make
you happy," ho said. "No," she an
swered thoughtfully, "don't do that.
Just work during the day and stay
homo at night." Washington Star.
Ouest 1 would like a nice round
stenk, rare done, and some fresh fried
potntocs. Walter (In stontorlnn voice)
Carnage In tho skillet! Frlod Pln
groes on the side! Chicago Tribune.
"There doesn't soom to bo anything
selllsh about that man Plngree," said
1'nclo Allen Spnrks. "In that potato
patch scheme of his ho has let every
body In on the ground lloor." Chicago
Tribune.
Mrs. Poormnn This money question
niH to bo go'ttlng very bitter. How
do you feel nbout it, dear? Mr. Poor
mnn Bad onough. Really, I'm all
broke up. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A full line of typewriter supplies at
tho Smith Premier office, 135 South
Eleventh street. Tel. 143. C. W. Ecker
man, agent.
!.v i
'erveiit Hope,
A man meetlnw on the street Henry
W. Palno. tho distinguished member of
tho Boston bar, addressed him as Mr.
D . a mnn of very different reputation
"I am not Mr. D ," was the answer
"but Mr. Henry W. Palno."
"I beg your pardon." said the man,
"for making the mistake."
"I will excuse you." replied Mr. Palno
"but I sincerely hope tho devil will not
make the same rrl".i!:i',"-i:x.
If you get up too late for breakfast
Sunday morning, come down to Francis
Bros.' restaurant. 127 no. 11th and cot
a plate of cakes and coffo. Special of
for to students for ten days. A $1.10
ticket for 80 cents.
Howard Thero goes a modern argo
naut. Algornon-Whnt golden llccco Is ho
after?
Howard Old Astorbllt'u owo lamb.
Nebraska Steam Dye
and
Cleaning Works
Gentleman's Suits and Overcoats
LADIES' DUICSS GOODS,
SHAWLS, CLOAKS, ETC.
CU-nncd, Dyed, nnd l'reswt to Kiiinl Now.
1'nst Colors. Military Suits Special Prlco.
Kcp.ilrhign Specialty.
Promptly ami Ncntly Done.
134 N. 11 St. . C. B. CAl'RON. Prop.
If you want a Suit Mado, go to
C.il'IILKRS,
x5hc QPopulat- bailor
Repairing Xoatly Done.
Ovor Wohlonborg's Cigar Storo
120 South 11th St.
C. H. FREY.
Wholesale and Retail
STORE
113) O ST.
Telephone 603.
GREEN HOUSE
:i5tli Tlireo lllockH
Honth of South St.
Telephono 572.
'3M01S ilVOID XrldV S.AcJVIO
'WWS WT W& III
)u dn it(tfu Indian
juHp jno pity
1ia noA
iSAOa AVS
Roy's Drug Store
Cor. 10th and P Sts.
FINE STATIONERY, STUDENTS' TABLETS,
Fountain Pens, Hasc Hall Goods, Ilnmmo.ks
Fishing Tncklc, Etc.
HKST -IREATMKNT. MiST 1'RICE.
S. E. ROY, Cox. lot i and P Sts.
JlIlm
MfMli
Nebraska Tent
and Awning Go,
136-8 N. 11 St.
Tents for Kent.
The "Hotel Lincoln,"
Matter Ibooe
. . . PRINTER
1115 P Street, Lincoln
Cards. Programs, in
vi "ations
Good Work. TrU os Reasonable.
A Hoy's ICfTnrt tci Kxpluln Tilings.
"Mnmmn, do you llko to kiss Mrs.
Jewhlllakor?"
"No, dear"
"Do you think Mrs. Jowhlllaker likes
to kiss you?"
"I don't think she (loos."
"Then why do you and sho alwaya
kiss when you moot?"
"I don't know, dear."
"Don't you think Mrs. Jowhlllaker
would rather you didn't kiss her?"
"I have no doubt of It."
"Wouldn't you rathor Mrs. Jewhllla
ker didn't kiss you?"
"Oh, very much!"
"Then that must bo why." Chicago
Tribune.
t Em
0 Abrtat
v 4 urana tutucaiar
II. 11. Pierce handles tho Dayton
wheel, bicyelo sundrloa ftnd repairs, 111
North Thlrtoonth stroot, llnltor block.
1 11 1
CAPITAL,
CAFE
i
HAS BEEN RE-OPENED BY
Brands Bros.
THE MOST CONVENIENT PLACE FOR STUDENTS
'-OPEN ALL NIGHT.
Oysters and ame in Season.
121 North Eleventh Street.
SHORT ORDERS OUR SPECIALTY. -:- GIVE US A TRIAL.
I29 South !2tli St,
wi'.-..
WEBSTER'S
INTERNATIONAL
HrttvNnu. nTinrT 1 -r-T
Abr.ast ofth, Tim.JA UiVi"! 11 l
Ilnrdor to (lot At.
"I suppose thnt It would take a great
deal of observation and experience to
onnblo a man to pick the fastest horso
antered for a race," she remarked.
"Yes," replied tho man of mournful
3xporIonco; "but that Isn't what you aro
trying to do. What you want la to pick
the horso that Is going to win."
Vvashington Sfar.
Successor of tho
" Unabridged."
Stiuxliiril nftl-o
U. 8. Clm't l'rlnt
liiK Ofliro, tliel'.S.
8uiremu Court tun)
of nearly all tho
BclinolliookB.
Viirmly com
mended liy every
Btnto Bui crimen
(lent of BeliiHilB,
and other Ktlnrn
tors almost with
out number.
A College President verltegj 'Tor
" enno with which tho eyo finds tho
" word sought, for ncourncy of drflriU
'tlon, for effective methods In indl
'cntlng itronuncliitlon, for torso yet
" voiiijirehonslvo statements of facts,
" and for practical uso ns n working
" dictionary, 'WouBtor'H Internatlonar
" excels any other slnglo volunjo."
Tho Ono Great Standard Authority,
du wnwa jtun. i'. u. iirowpr. uueuco u. o.
Uupreme Court.
O. & C. MimniAar CO., rabllnhera,
SnrluiMeld. Muss.. U.S.A.
V ntwmflMnA In ItiA nill.1lliTa tnr frA mmnM.f
J fcir Vo not buy cheap reprints of ancient edluVai,
LINCOLN, NEB.
75 Rooms S2.GU per day.
your pfytx
12 CABINETS ONLY
$1.00 WORTH $3.00.
Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Call and see Samples.
PIJEWlTT, 1216 O St.
vOlttfcfc.
i.n3STffira
TWO TRAINS DAILY
BETWEEN
:iLxxrooiL,ir
AND
Auburn, Falls City,
Atchison, St. Joseph,
and Kansas City.
City Ticket Office, 1201 0 Stroot.
IT. O, TOWKSEHD, Oen'l P. & T. A.
T. D, COKITEIiI., O, 1. ft T. A
AV. O. Forties' reliable linolt and car
riage lino. Telephone 31, 131 North
HIevonth.
The
Lincoln
Salt Baths.
Cor. 14th & M
Streets.
illprl LINCOLN,
?j NEBRASKA.
OPEN AT ALL HOURS DAV nn nirut.
SULPHO-SALINE BATH HOUSE AND SANITARIUM
caVloiTor1 NATUIt a" HAWvATK,i?ATHi "omn"'- "Hh .p.rl.1 ntt.ntlon to II.. nppM.
ot lllieiiimtls.ii, NrvnuVu Ifflciilt e i iiml n.inJ V"",1. ,lmea i" '" "" water, for H.e.nre
li'ete in th" world 8KA I aTIMnm? ni ?y ot ,er U.Ueu?.B' t h" th Mouse I- tin. most .'
Water H mmlDK Pool, m B0 lon a to utt V.VJ,y'"i, ?" ,,ea"Hn ,n 0,,r lur1'' mwinflo nt Hull
" ' ,ou 'onH to 10 It Ueep, boated to a uniform tsmperuture of bll dnwrt""
'