tlMlAAj
3.
TWO TRAINS DAILY
nnwKi'N
Auburn, Falls City,
Atchison, St. Joseph.
and Kansas City.
HHBKJjyVT nwfuSPHRrt aJPemMMMb. PWIm p. JBBHSff
i uni' till
Pi
Mr. V.llioti aiI1 '. hi- fHinoUK '-lit' i
inlmn. h:, llazi I Kukt. .a -' "
unlver-ils Tluiixilm t'nliiK M.iin
111m ..ilv lun 1'iN-ii nut . lliusl mi
.cMMful .unl i IU-M1 iniiniiiiliitUiH
ir.Hn iln lii'Mt uiiiiurllk'fl. lrl Knu-r-x
ti UiNmkH wi.vm. "Mimicry would nu
ll. t Hii .h n io-i fomu1C'l', oninnwnpwu;o.
only Inlwirn jrfnlim. .ixI:m1 l lu-v
liiHiidniiiilil. art. could -irr a nirorrn
micp t. dho perfwttoir. Mr. KIIM1 lox."
The Tuiuni (' Tlmow wiya:
ivhllrt .it tlnir Irir. xlMtlldy funny,
i licit' Ticv.-r was an t itm- n ulnar
v.rl vr :i "il.n: fuel thai In tluto dn"
.a Inifloooii cwncly must iimnn-nd tin-l-rfoi'ninv
to popular fivor"
ilooiw 11. WVndllnjr will k- hi"
kt, utt lifiUH' in Ap.il An I'lnmlncm
divine In I ho .nit smyf "1 would mfhrv
Tlio rnrtli Tri-inlileil.
"Ah!"
The shock passed away and the world
ivns quiet,
"Evidently"
Ho pnzed with wondor upon the curi
ous formations of rook which tho quako
had revealed.
"Tho oarth is not what It Is cracked
up to ho." New York World.
in
! !
i In- uuili.n- r Hint lent nre on 'The
Tho TSwIng Clothtnp Co. nro showing
the boat valuos In ?S and $10 suits and
overcoats In Lincoln.
Teachor Tho Lord made tho earth
in six days.
Tommy Smuthcrs What did ho do
nights?
Toachor That is a funny question.
Who can toll Tommy what God did at
night?
llobhy lilathers I can, tcaohor. Tie
made Tolodo, Ohio.
Tin) Only Alnrket.
Editor 1 am sorrv I can not take
tliose Jokes. Tlioy aro all as old as
MulluiM'liih.
lnkliiyli lint what am T to do with
them? I must pet rid of them some
where.
Editor Send them to l'hilndolphia
as spoeinii'iis of the miming humor of
our great-grandchildren.
Anil No I'oo Anlaxl.
First Tramp AVhero'r yor goin',
Hill?
Second Tramp Oh. I'm off tor one
of them summor rosorts around hero.
Flrst Tramp What'h tho idea or
doin' that?
Second Tramp 'Well, yor soo, I jist
called on the doctor that lives 'cross
tho street there and lie ordered me
away.
Don Cameron's lunch oountor, 118
fiouth Eleventh street.
M.-ih "f rt.iliu. ' tli.ui f nri hunmn pro
duction Mint 1 liac i . r hoard fall from
the lips ..r nn llvliiK 4iinn."
.Itiwph Cook: "li In luilllnnt nnd
powerful -n flnwlnntlon and an insplra-
j iln. Tlie Anifnlonn lyceum am boast
j no gronr owtor llinn Wondllng."
, A ticket .'aitltlli.tf the bolder to both
tlicMe lectures nard a nworvoil seat costs
only fiO cents. Single admission SIS cents.
Sjeclnl enrs will be on O streot nt 7
o'clock to carry the ciwnl out rawl bnek.
Tlie retwvwl Hem are going fnst; get
ymil m before they Htv gope.
Two unlverMltv boys otnvttV for
M.lc Friday evening. Tliey Intend
to bu. land wh4cfh cn be used foi
growing coffee.
No riniit T.oKt.
l")o llrolior jbrlbklj') Mr. Silvcrplate
in?
Clark No, sir.
Do Hrolcor Well, when he comes,
please tell him to sand me another
barrel ol things rniltti'ulu for wedding
prcsonts. Tho last lot is aliout gono.
Tn, ta! Now York Weekly.
llnromfortnlilo Com fori.
Mrs. Wayupp 1 sympathize with
you deoply. It must he very painful
to lose a fortune.
Mrs. llluck It's torrilile! When wc
wore rich wo used nothing hut the
most exquisite antique furniture, lint
it's all gone, every piece.
"Tho new furniture which you have
horo looks very comfortable."
"That's the trouble. It is so com
fortable that 1 am continually re
minded of tho awful fact that it is not
antique."
Romomhor Umit Frnnols Bros, have re
opened the Capital Cafe, 121 North
IClcvenlth street. Short ordor meals are ,
their apookilty. 1
Ci'y Ticket Gfflco, 1201 0 Stroot.
IX. C, TOVNS2ND, Oun'l P. & T. A.
T. D. COUNtI.1.. C. P. & T. A
The Funke Opera House Block
is llio placn to get our Clioico Amurl
cii lleauty and Hoses .f any shmle.
Carnations and nil ilor.il work guaran
toi'il. Decorations i specialty.
VKKY Vi FllEY,
F.orists.
Tho ISwlng Clothing company are the
popular priced clothlors of Lincoln. A
call will convince you. 1115 and 1117 O.
TH'E.
NEBRASKA
FOR THIS
SECOND SEMESTER
...40 cents
Burlington's personally conducted
excursions to Utah and California. A
Pullman tourist sleeping car will leave
Lincoln every Thursday at 12:15 .p.
m. for Denver, Salt Lake, Ogdon, San
Francisco and Los Angeles. Only $5
for a double berth Lincoln to Los An
geles in one of those cars. Komember
thoro is no change of cars. For full In
formation and tickets apply at Bur
lington & Missouri depot or city ticket
ofTlco, cornor Tonth and O streets.
G. "W. Bonnell, C. P. & T. A.
m k-,
AVHrterfleld should be your barber.
Have your toiiBorlal work done at
Wfstertleld's.
The very latest styles In hair cut at
Westvrflnld'ft.
A full lino of typewriter supplies at
the Smith iPromlor ofllce, 185 South
Eleven tli stroet. Tel. 1-13. C. W. Ecker-
Only Another Itt liiproplHin.
She was a very stout woman stouter
than stout women usually aro. Bal
laetod with a haskot, two parcols and a
baby, Hho bucked her way to tho only
scat In the car. Already In half tho Boat
was a slip of a girl, frosh and Maylike,
as girls are apt to bo nowadays.
Tho young girl had a big hunch of
lilacs In her lap. Tho stout woman,
with tho olght-o'clock-in-tho-mornlng
porsplratlon, mopped somo of it from
hor hoad and faco. Thon the lilacs
caught hor oyo.
Tlioso lilacs looked decllclously cool
and frosh, and tho stout woman felt
uncommonly warm. Tho situation was
a fatal one and imperative Tho stout
woman folt impollod to do justlco to It.
Sho did. Sho looked at tho llowors
ngaln, thon at tlio young girl, thon
straight up Into space and canio out
with, "My, nln't thom lllaos flagrant!"
Philadolphla Call.
man, agent.
"Dan Cameron's lunch counter, 118
South Eleventh stroot.
Duliiy Aro DniignrotiH.
Lovor And so your mot her does not
buliove in long engagements? 1 am
delighted.
Mish Ho Itroker Yes, mamma says
ever (?o many girls' fathers have failed
during longongagomontb, and the poor
thing never got married at all.
, A T.itHt lU'Hnrt.
Little (Jirl I've glued my doll'b hair
on twice, and it came oil' both times.
Mother Oh, well, try It again.
Little tilrl I'm goin' to. This t.mc
I'm goin' to mix the glue in a hair re
storer bottle. Good News.
Ought to I'm'l (Jhnip.
First Boy 1 hot Mr. Do Brokoi iccl
cheap.
Sooond Hoy Why?
First l!oy Last week ho paid two
hundred dollars for a dog, and to-day
a two dollar dog licked him Good
News.
Old, hut In 11 Now Di-chh.
A country nowppnpur reports a brlof
colloquy hotweon a woman and her
lazy husband. Sho was busy, and tho
baby was crying, and tho man, bo far aB
appears, was saying nothing.
"John," sho said, "I wish you would
rock the baby."
"Oh, bother," wiib tho answer, "why
should I rock tho baby?"
"Why, hocauso ho isn't very well and
I havo this mondlng to do. Besides half
of him holongs to you, anyhow, and you
ought to bo willing to holp take caro or
him."
"Woll, half of him holongs to you,
too, and you can rock your half and lot
my half holler." Philadelphia In-quiror.
rlfcHMVMl
V COPYRIGHTS.-
CAN I 01ITA1N A PATENT For a
Rrcmnit, niiHwur mid iin limicut opinion, wrlto to
It NN V('(., wlin Imvo Imd nourlyttfty years'
expcrlcnco In tlio piitunt tiUHlnots, Comraunlco
tlnns inrlotly CMiilldnntlut. A llitmttionlc of In
lonnntlon vmirunilue I'litcnlN nnd bow to ob
tuln tlii'in Bent Iron. AIho a mtulOKUu ot meclian
Iwil nnd Hclomnio liookH mint lreo.
ratcuts tnkon tliroucli Munn & Co. receive
fpecliuiiotlcolntliorvli'ittlllcAiiierlrnn, ana
tliiiB nro lironulit wlilnljr bef nro tlio public with
out cost to tlio Inventor. This nnlpudld naiicr,
8u(!d weekly, ulecuntlylllustruti'd, has bylur tho
larcest iMrculiitlou of liny scicntlllc work In the,
world. Ml 11 yenr. Sniuplo conlca eont frco.
JiulKlliur Kdltion, moiitlily, tlMu yeur. BlnRlo
copies, tf. cuntH. Kvery nuniliur contnlnB beuu
tlxul pliiti'8, in colors, nnd libntni;rupbB ol new
Iioubcs. with iilans. puiitillne builders to nhow the
latest designs mid si.curu contractu. Address
MUNN k CO., New York, Util HiioauwJLT.
S WEBSTER'S
$ INTERNATIOXA7, I
t A Grand I Jiitnmr. ' at
huccinoruj tho i
" UuahrJtlavd."
Hlandiird of tho $
V. 8. Gov't Print
itnr Ofllei. tlit-r.H. ?
Hiijirt'inei (iiirtuiiii
of iicurh till tlio
Belioolbo'iUB.
11 iirinly rnm
lniindoil by every
Btiuo biii.uriutuii
(lcnt of HulioolR,
ami otliu i;iluni-
torH nlniMt with
out number.
A Colll'iro lrnslilniir. -n-rlieu! "T.ir.
5 "eiiHO ivlth which tho rye HiuIk tho
S " word nought, for nrimriicy of doflnU
S "thin, for offootlvo inothodH In lmll
J " rating ironuiiolatlon, for torwi yot
" i-oniiirnhonslvo Btatoninntu of fnctH,
I " and for jirnntlcnl ubo uh a working
Z "dletloiiury.'-lVoliKtor'H liitnriiiitlonul1
,, " oxioln uny othor single volume."
I Tlw Ono firtmt Standard Authority,
i Ho writes lion. i. .1. jirnwnr, Justice V. B.
5 Stiiirciiie Court.
;
J O. .& C. Mr.llllIAM CO., FtlbllHlwra,
t Sprlngauld, Muhb., V. S.A.
M-fipiirt t Hie mbllliere for free pnmplilt.
Uflll It .1111 i.t..n.. . ...1 ..?..'. .....
m- .--..-....., vnviiji IK1MIIUHU1 IlUUUJIl I'UlUOnS. A
This siinco is rohorved for II. H. 1'lorco,
bifjyolofl and bicvolo lopnirs. HI No.
mtli si root, llullur lUni'k.
1 11 1 i
HAS BEEN RE-OPENED EY
Vyir 1 1 A I . . THE MOST CONVENIENT PLACE FOR STUDENTS
rF OPEN ALL NIGHT.
UArL -j Oysters and ame in Season.
1 2 1 North Eleventh Street.
SHORT ORDERS OUR SPECIALTY.
GIVE US A TRIAL.
The
Lincoln
Salt Baths.
miAximMvMU'Ujm,
lJ . .. .1 M. c , ,iim
J-
Cor. 14th & M
Streets.
LINCOLN,
NEBRASKA.
OPEN AT ALL HOURS DAY OR NIGHT.
SULPHO-SALINE BATH HOUSE AND SANITARIUM
ALL roitMS OF IIATHS Turklli, itinmlnn. Ilonuin, Deetrlr, will piln1 iittentlon to tlio niipll.
ration of NATUKAL SALT WATCH MATH-. HfTerul II s tmiiirvr Hum m-a ttuler.tor tlmeure
ot HliuuiiiiitlHiii, Nitvouh Uinti'iiltli'H, hiiiI many oilier iIIh..ih.m. Tim Until House I tlin most cuiii.
plete in tlie world SCA IIATHI.MI mny b eno.ed nt nil hi-bmoiih In our liui'. inairiilflc nt Salt
liter KwlmmlnK l'ool, CUxlDO Ioiir, S to 10 ft deep, Imuled to a uniform tuinperuture of u deirreei
226 So. I 1th St. Ground Floor.
Special Hates to Stubents.
FXJ2STKE OPEKA HOUSJE-
niAKK C. ZniLUVHa Manaper,
Corner O ana lath
Friday & Saturday and Sat, Mattnee,
Feb. 28 and 29,
BEACH & BOWE5?S
MINSTRELS
30 Distinguished Artists,
J'OPULAR PRICES. Scats on Bale Wedncidny
morning Pub. 26. 10, 20, 30, cents.
IF YOU KNOW,
that I have
the apparatus
for half Boling In the neatest stylo,
the latest point shoes and up-to-date
styles, it -would pay you to bring all
your shoe repair work to 100 South 18th
Bt. All work guaranteed. J, HI
rettit.
Salter ftoe
. . . PRINTER
1115 p Street, Lincoln
Cards, Programs, in
vitations Good Work. Prim Hemonable.
C
