I! Si'- Is '- 1 i ri as i t. hr t l; f rt A iTnvonllo Vlow. First Hoy How did your nlod got Hi-ooittl Hoy Don't Know. Papa nnd mamma wont out on tlio lilll with It after I ot to boil liiHt nlKlit an' thoy brolto It Homobow. "Your pupa niul mamma?" "Yoh." "Tbuy wont out sledding?" "Yoh." "Woll, I BWiint Hcomii to mo folks tlmt'H ninnled an' ban ohllrtron ought to bo thlnliln' "bout what to put on tlnir uniV'JHtoiK'H 'stond of goln' out Hlt'dtlln'." A Moilr-at MiiHlulun. oung Wnly You aro u wondorful maHtor of tbo piano, T boar. ProfoHHof von Spieler (blrod for tbo occiiHl'in) I blay nggomimnlniontn vsomi'tliiioM. "Ai'i-oiiipanlmontH to singing?" "AKKoinpanlmontH to gonvoniallonu." Too Opnn. DentlHt You needn't open your mouth any fartbor. Thnt In ciulto Htilllolont. Poimnnt I HmUKbt ns bow you woro a going to hIiovp In tboin pinchers. Dontim The pinchers, yen, but I nra stopping "UlHlilo myself. Unsoro Go-nellriulinft. FREY & FREY, FLORISTS. Funko Opera Houso Blook, Oornor 0 and 12th Street. "CHRIS' PLACE" TURKISH n JIT IIO VAPOR MASSAGE BATHS Hot & Cold "ouii coM,rcaR" Tbo following voa'Ht'B pot to tmiHlo composed by Wllliml Kimball, havo boon wrlWon by Willi lam need Uunroy iiml will bo Hiiim by tbo nhoriiH Charter ilay, Tin hour Ih dedicated to Chnii collor MaoIan, Tbo numlo will bo publinboil Inter In t'ho NobniHlrnn: Upon a floor of pralrlo laniln, Whoru Huimblno pourri tbo wbolo year tbroimb. Our dear old coUoko grandly stands lluiiontli u Hky Buronoly bluo. TJio ling bor towar waves alrovo And In 11b niveau 'tbo eolom wtream That flro our hoartH with deepest lovo Tbo doar old Hcarlot and tbu oioain. Uy day nnd night it ho woBt wliubi swoep In wilful wllilnoHM 'round 1ior walls And lllo the west wind broad and doop Our prldo and lovo upon hor fallM. Long may our college rulo tbo plain, hong may wo moot to sing hor pmltio, Clod grant limit Hho may grandly rolgn Through doar unnumboml longth ot dnyB, A hoalth Nebraska's prldo to tflioo And to our Ch'nncollor loud and long IUiilHi our loud cheer, thou aiireo Union throo A 'tiger and a Jolly Hong. A IA NOVlOMilS. "Ilo 'throw blB bleeding heart Into her lap: Hho bado him KO, nor hooded 1i!b dls tfOHU." And no small wonder, for the Hud mlBbup IOflt a big grouse spot on bor brand now dross. Kx. It 7?i N. 13. Havo you trlod ono of his SALT GLOE" BATHS. Call and boo him about thorn. Basomont N. W. Corner 11th & P Stroots. H, W. BROWN, DRUGGIST. Books and Stationery, College Text-Books. Ami a Completo Stock o( Standard and Misoollanoous Booka 217 SO. ELEVENTH ST. THE... NEBRASKAN FOR TIIK SECOND SEMESTER ...40 cents KTTOaHRM i,H rn nn jH miCAVhAI &, I RAUL MARKsV COPYRIGHTS.- CAN I OlITAIN A PATENT T For a Rrnmnt onswor and nn lioncut opinion, wrlto to I UN N fc (Ml., who lmvo lind nearly tlfty yonrai experience In tlio p.itont business. Communica tions strictly conlMcntlnl. A Jliuullioolc of In formation concerning I'utentM and bow to ob tntn tucm sent free. Also a catalogue of median lent nnd sclcntltlo books sent free l'atcnts taken tlirovmli Munn & Co, recelvo special notlcoln tho Srlentlllo American, and thus aro brotislit widely boforotho public with out cost to tho Inventor. This splendid paper, Issued weekly, olCKuntly Illustrated, has by far tho lament circulation of any ncicntltlo work In tbo world. S.'l n yenr. Pnrnpla conies sent trco. Uulldlns Udltlon, monthly, fi.S0a year. BlnKlo coplos, l!i cents. Kvcry nuraher contains boiu tlful pluton, in colors, nnd nhotoRrnphs of now houses, with plans, enabling uullders to show tbo latest drslims nnd socuro contracts. Address MIWN & CO., NKW YOllK, aOl BltOADWAY. ft.fcAVAjtasifc,4.u. . WEBSTER'S INTERNA TIONAL m,'Wx.DICTZONAR Y A Grand bdutntor. ' Successor 0 tho " Unabridged," Stnmlnril of tlio V. 8. Gov't l'rint- inp; onioo, tiio u.s. Siiprciiiu Court and of nearly all tho Bclioolbooks. "Wnrnily coin moiKlcil by every Btnto Bui'crlntcn ilent of SchoolB, and other Educa tor almost with out iiumlior. A CoIIcl-o Prosldont -writes: "Tor "enso with which tho cjo fimls tho wont Rouglit, for nccurncy of ihtfliil "tlon, for cffoctlvo method in in.U- , "cntliiB pronunciation, for torso yet ; " comprehensive stntcmoiitH of facts, I " and for practical uho as a worlihiR 1 "llrt!oiinry,MVolstor'fl Inlcrnatloiinl' I " excels any other slne;lo volunio." Tho Ono Great Standard Authority, Bo writes Hon. I). J. lirmvor, Justice U. 8. ; Buprcino Court. O. t- C. MERRTAar CO., rtthUahcrs, jpruiBiioui, Mass., U.S.A. I JWPend to the pubUshers for free parnpMef. w " w j twi ivjiiiuuf ut unciciu euiuons. MLWPAUY T13UM8. rfro- Sabor oxorclao I8S";' in i li'nU 'Plioro aro four unlvorBlty boyB who nmiiBo thoniflolvoH ovoi-y :uornliHJ In combiK to an R o'cloolt roaltatlon by tho hlKhly dntolloctual occupation of ItloltliiK a itln can for Bovoral blockB. Tbi"y havo ovolvod a now iramo and mil thlnklnir of applying; at WawlHiiB ion for a copyright of tho Bamo. Tho four boya Bprood nbroiiBt ovor tbo Btront (proforably brick paved) and tbo miifh nbUBail can Ib Htartod. lflaoh man Ih hiippoboiI to advanco tho can uvciy tlino It comi'H In front of him and a point Ib eord airalnBt him for ovpry failure, lly tbo itlmo tho unlvor Hlty Ih reached tho ono ImMlnu; tbo moHt jKilntB iiRiiliiHt him. ncta up ho oitiwd while all Bond homo ri'ipiPHts upon tho patornal bank for 'tho where withal to purcbani' now foot soar. TIIIODAWN OV LOVI3. "1 lovo my lovo In tho morning," (ju(th he, nnd ho puffed bin briar, "For while I llo abed and snore, Sho'rt up, and llKhUUho lire." Kx. Ho loflt hor hIMiIiik all alone liotwoon tho hcIb; HlB'ImpolltoneHB I tllBllUu to own Hut huoIi are factH. Kx. Unity HiiiIIimI. -.... i. I.... iriuii,,,. n,1 un IIiIm Ih vnnr UUnillllH Tir.iv,., - v little baby brother? Hohhoih Ittlo tootnl . . . a. I,,. ...... ,., it(irt WootHlol hoe mm miiiiii'. wimi " i"i boBHed jiettlo hiiiIIIiik about? HoBton ClillU (apoioBeiieauyj no iHii't old enouKh to know that ho ....,., .. 1f.,n. n uttMilirlit fimfi iiviitl If your pronunciation Ib a little peculiar. yulckly l'"Uoil. Llttlo SlBtor AVbat you Roln' to wear nt tbo children!! fancy drcBB patty? Little brother My Sunday clothcB, I KUOBH. "but you miiB' go ob n character." "MtiBt I? Woll, I'll bang my hair and protend I'm a girl In a bicycle milt." Silent Theater 1'artleH. Mrn. Do Style 1 wonder what Ib tho beBt way of arraiiKlng theater parties, and tin supper for them, 1'hlloBopl.or Servo tbo Biipper In tbo box during the performance. Wbllo their inuuU'H aro full they enn't tnlk. Not So Btupld. "There's a man to seo you, sir," said the olllco boy politely. "Well, you stupid, didn't I tell you I wouldn't boo anybody?" "Yes, sir." "Then why did you recelvo him?" "I told him to wait without, sir." "Without what?" said tho boss, ex pecting to crush the boy by bis clieflt nut. "Without nny Chance of Boeing you, sir," nnd tho boy dodged through tho door Detroit Free Press. Hard Times ThnntrlrnU. Mnnufactunr I want somo advertis ing space on your drop curtain for to night. Theatre Mnnager Son-y, but every square foot Is taken. Manufacturer Too bad. However, it will do as well If you'll Just change Hnmlct's "To bo or not to bo" Into "To wnsh or not to wash," and have him ring In something about my soap. i 'wHHEyT3?JcP T n iiHPiiBiiiiiiDQiiiH HAB BEEN RE-OPENED BY Francis Bros. ,tt l J, 1 ll CAPITAL CAFE 121 North Eleventh Street. Till'. MOST C0NVKN1KNT Pf.ACK FOR STUHKNTS OPEN ALL NIGHT. Oysfefs and ame in Season. SHORT ORDERS OUR SPECIALTY. GIVE US A TRIAL. F0R The Latest Hair Cu THEY SAY WE'RE ALL RIGHT. S. E. Cor. 12th & 0, Scott & Shannon. ri LATB8T. T rhe Lincoln Salt Baths. -' vW if 1-,,,.' jjjimTOJ Cor. 14th & m StroolH, LINCOLN, j NEBRASKA. OPEN AT ALL HOURS DAY OR NIGHT. SULPHO-SALINE BATH HOUSE AND SANITARIUM l.l. I'OIIMH OP IIATHH-Tiirklcli, UtiBHlnn, Itoinnn, Klcctrlc, Willi Hpoclnl nt1fnl'on In tin- nppll nation of NATUIIAI. KAI.T WATKIl IIAT1IH, hotpniI IIiiicn Htroniri-r tliim ki ii uiiliT.lor iliamn ol lllioiiiiiiitlHin, NcrvoiM iliillcultli'H, anil many nthor iIIki'iihiV, 'I'lin Until Hoiihu U ilin in . i 1 iMii n tlio u trlil SKA IIATIIINll limy lm riijoyvil nt nil ccatoiiH In niir lurm-, imiikihIIu hi mi ninr SnliiuiiliiK I'onl, COxlf.O Ioiik, IS to 10 ft (loop, hoiitoil to n iinltorni luiiiHirnturu ol hil tlcurn, j&r ft 226 So. 1 1th St. Ground Floor. Special 2lates to Stubents, CAN YOU AFFORD TO MISS IT? THE OPPORTUNITY TO POSSESS A Webster's Encyclopedia Dictionary. " I got ovon with Miss Casey," How's that? "When she rcbised to o witli ins to tho prom., I told hop hIio wns tlio third girl I'd nskod. MILITARY TI3UMS. Class In military, field Engineering. THE LAST REVISION. ContnlninR fully 45,000 inoro words, dollnltlons nnd phrnsos, than aro to uo lounti m tlio intost oiluions of Wolistor'H una Woroostor's unnurltlKoa Dictionaries, nnd about 25,000 moro words than aro contninod in Wobslor's Ititoruntloniil Dictiounry. MnkiiiK tho most comprohonslvo and oomploto Dictionary of Iho Einilish Liuilmiiiuo oxtnnt. This nuiKiiillcont work will bo on salo in this city for a short timo nt special prices, and on su -h liberal torms tliat no ono can afford to bo without this a'osoluto necossity to tlio ambitious student or scholar. An opportunity will bo alfordod to ovoryono to oxiunino a copy of tlio nuovo woric at tins otllco. For pricos and l onus soo our solicitor, or apply to OI-IA.S. BUHKE, 1 313 "Li Street. A Special SUIT SALE is in Progress Today at Baker's Clothing House, 1039 0 Street. Maltev Iboge ...PRINTER 1115 P Street, Lincoln CARDS, PROGRAMS, IN VI "ATIONS Good Work. Frk cs Seasonable. Kr IUU Ml U If tho apparatus for hnlf soling in tlio neatest stylo, tho latest point shoes nnd up-to date Btyles, it would pay you to bring all your shoe repair work to 100 South 13th nt. All work guaranteed, J, III Pettit. 1. 1. WiumiT, V. K. Johnson. J. II. McCi.ay, rtesldcnt. Vico-l'rwUlciit. Cnsluei JOHN AM US, Ass't Lnslilcr THE Columbia Na.tl Bank, LINCOUN. NEB. Capital, - $250,000. DIRUCTOKS: A.S.Raymond, Ciias. West, Tiios. Cociihan The Funke Opera House Block la tlio plftco to get your Cholco Ainori cn Beauty nnd Hoses of tiny shade. Carnations and all floral work guaran teed. Decorations a specialty. FItEY & FREY, Florists. TWO TRAINS DAILY BETWEEN AND Auburn, Falls City, Atchison, St. Joseph, and Kansas City. City Ticket Office, 1201 0 Street. II. O, TOWNSEKD, Qea'X P. & T. A. I. . COHXTEX.X., O. P. & V. Ay Tho Ewlng Clothing company aro the popular priced clothiers of Lincoln. A call will convince you. 1115 and 1117 0. I