Opinion
Page 4 Daily Nebraskan Tuesday February ,27,2001
/M/vNebraskan
Since 1901
Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Jake Glazeski
Managing Editor Bradley Davis
Score!: One
Endorsement of presidential
candidates split down middle
After a campaign down, a firestorm of contro
versy and the most packed slate of presidential
contenders in a long time, five ASUN hopefuls
gathered Monday to make their final pitches for
the Daily Nebraskan’s endorsement Thist us, this
election continues to be interesting.
At the meeting of the newspaper’s editorial
board, four board members endorsed The One
Party’s Jaron Luttich. The other three voted for
Scorel’s Nathan Fuerst
Luttich performed well in all three debates,
and we’re sure he has the poise and confidence to
lead ASUN. His arguments throughout the cam
paign were well-researched and convincingly
presented, and we were especially impressed
with his argument in favor of online professor
evaluations in the final debate.
Whatever you think about the evaluations, it
was obvious Luttich had talked to professors,
administrators and students - die steps to make
one of his key issues a reality. We believe this
speaks to what he’d do in office: If an issue passes
Luttich’s desk, he’ll make sure he’s an expert on
the matter before presenting it to the senate.
Some of us, though, thought Luttich’s role as a
leader had gone to his head and, consequently,
his heart was out of the game. His slick presenta
tion struck some of us as abit too overbearing.
Fuerst won three of us over with the qualities
some thought Luttich lacked: genuine heart and
concern tor student government. One board
member who talked to students about Fuersfs
image on campus found a unanimous vote
among students he polled: Fuerst is a nice guy.
Fuerst had well-formed opinions on universi
ty issues, including the president’s role on the NU
Board of Regents and agriculture’s role in the aca
demic prioritization process.
We were convinced he cares about the future
of UNL’s student government, and he doesn’t
seem afraid to get his hands dirty.
The majority of the board, though, thought
nice guys sometimes do finish last
When Fuerst backed down on his original pro -
posal of a tuition grandfather clause - with just a
nudge from other candidates - it was obvious
he’d not done adequate research.
Our opinions were less varied on the remain
ing three choices:
NUForce's Angela Clements, who weathered a
storm of controversy in the past week, has good
ideas. In the spirit of this newspaper’s editorial
board, Clements isn’t afraid to face controversial
issues, including domestic partner benefits, the
so-called defense of marriage act and increasing
senate diversity.
But after Clements’ shoddily run campaign -
two of her candidates were disqualified - we
don’t back away from our earlier editorial, which
called for Clements to drop out of the race.
We hope Clements doesn’t disappear after this
election, though - she’s served a useful role on the
ASUN Senate. We just don’t believe die’s cut out
to be the leader of the pack.
No Bull’s Andy Mixan seemed to have written
a script - from which he never deviated - at the
outset of the campaign.
His party came out ardently against ASUN
lobbying for or against political issues, but the
argument soon turned into a thinly veiled attack
on the University of Nebraska Medical Center’s
fetal tissue research - the only so-called "politi
cal" issue he admitted to being against
As for independent candidate John Matzen,
we asked him why we should support a candi
date who clowned his way through a campaign.
He said he didn’t know. We don’t know either.
Don’t vote for the candidate who gave you
some laughs. Vote for the one who has done his
homework on the issues: Luttich. Or the one who
has obvious heart Fuerst
May the best man, or woman, win.
Editorial Board
Sarah Baker, Jeff Bloom, Bradley Davis, Jake Glazeski,
Matthew Hansen, Samuel McKewon, Kimberly Sweet
Letters Policy
The Daly Nebraskan welcomes brief tatters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guaran
tee their pubicabon. The Daly Nebraskan retains the riefit to edit or reject any material sitomitted.
Submitted material becomes property of the Daly Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymoue
cfamieaions wi not be published. Those who submit tetters must identify themselves by nana,
year in school, major anchor group afliation, if any.
Submit material to: Daly Nebraskan, 20 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St Lincoln, NE 68588-0448
E-mel: taCtarsOdalsffieb.com
Editorial Poficy
Unsigned edtortate are the opinions of the Spring 2001 Daly Nebraskan. They do not necessity
reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the
University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of Is author a catoonia
solely the opinion of its artist The Board of Regents acts as pubfeher of the Daily Nebraskan; poi
cy is set by the Daly Nebraskan Edtorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, establshed by the
regents, supervises the production of the paper. According to pokey set by the regents, reeponel
bMy far tie edtoriaf content of the newspaper ies solely in the hands of its employees.
iou WHJT To CHARGE poms
To paRk (wire Booster pots? ^
R/r Wose saces havx /u/?au>y 1
BEER PAip For by PEMiT-helping- 1
tfav&trs mp Boosters who pmp
FoRTHERigbTTOPARRTHERbI we’ll
Re charging- For each space
-THREE 1ms! NK. BYRHE, X
|a Wl’T WINE X CARGO ALCblG
■kwjTH sm CROQREMESS!
W VoH’T You Forget, captaiiY... ,
W rvE got Plenty of PHoTos of
i I^W&NTS TWISTING
L-----I
NealObermeyer/DN
The faces of ASUN elections
We all know that there
are either two ways to look
at an ASUN election - they
suck or they rule!
What my meager mind
cannot wrap itself around is
not only the process of
uecummg a canuiuaie in me
first place (wasting time and Karen
energy getting signatures to Brown
“show they're wanted” by ■■■■■■■■■■■
exactly 200 people instead
of simply being able to run), but also the fines
administered by a certain poster-nazi. "That’s a
dollar because that wasn't real virgin’s blood used
to date that postcard!”
I’m sure I merely don't understand the rules of
posting the posters, but John D. and Company will
stop at nothing to drain pocket books, citing rules
arbitrarily left and right.
I suppose the only logical thing to do right now
is to outline the highlights of each party so that
fellow students who have no idea that the ASUN
elections are going on, or even what ASUN is, can
vote for the best candidate. Or at least vote for the
one that looks funny and is sure to “change the
world” with their outrageousness.
Score!, lead by Nathan Fuerst, has proposed
the grandfather tuition clause, which I think is
totally a great idea.
My grandfather actually goes to UNL, and he is
stoked with this proposal. If Fuerst gets elected on
• February 28th, Gramps can quit paying thousands
of dollars a year for his Rusty Tractor
Extraction/Physical Education degree and,
instead, can be guaranteed to pay a meager $17 a
year!
In case you’re confused, that amount is how
much Gramps paid when he first entered UNL in
1909 as a young lad. It’s not that Gramps isn’t a
hard worker; he has just always chosen to stop
and smell the roses in lieu of going to classes, not
to mention the fact that RTE/PE is no slouch
degree!
As currently enrolled students, we must urge
Score! to make the proposed Grandfather’s Gaws
retroactive so we can all benefit from the score!
The One Party, lead by the one guy named
Jaron Luttich, wants to virtually sell die heart of
this campus to, well, whomever will give it enough
money to do so.
As he sips his Pepsi and smiles for the corpo
rate camera, we can all ask, “What’s so bad about
walking down the campus on paved billboards
and logos as far as the eye can see?” Well, nothing
if it will help us, the students.
We sold our soul to Pepsi, and now we're reap
ing from the benefits - we're all so much fatter
from the sugar. Hey, not that Coke and Pepsi
together would have kept us skinny; I'm just try
ing to make an invalid point. I can do that, it’s
merely an opinion.
“We’re a Pepsi campus, why can’t we be a
Gateway campus?” Though these words nearly
made me hack up my water (Evian), it did make
me think.
I guess I’ll stick with my idea that a university
campus should, indeed, be a place to get the hell
away from logos that blind and instead be a place
where books are King, not the Burger.
By the way, I do like the idea of on-line profes
sor evals, but only if professors get to write back;
I’ve seen “You’ve Got Mail.”
No Bull, with Andy Mixan mixin’ things up, is
next with his vow to change e-mail systems, Dead
Week and to stay out of issues that affect students
outside ofUNLlife.
I applaud his desire to bridge the gap between
ASUN and real, uninterested students, but this
winds back to the problem that there is a large
majority of students who could care less about
ASUN and their "rights," so I’ve taken it upon
myself to help him.
I think for his new Dead Week policy, after he
installs the rule that we won’t have any homework
due or assigned, he should hold a pie throwing
contest to raise money for fetal tissue research.
“Throw a pie at your least favorite ASUN officer"
(this doesn’t exclude senators) could truly reach
thousands of disinterested students more than a
silly meeting or editorial in the DN once a week.
It is time for change, and brother, I can spare
more than a dime. How much for that pie?
There is a man, we shall call him John Matzen,
that likes to dress up and crack witty comments
left and right. He also is seen as the candidate with
a different, unique platform when, in essence, he
has no solid platform.
Since he is good at nabbing other candidate’s
ideas and enhancing them with perfume (no
harm in that), I will nab other candidates’ party
names and form one for Matzen, free of charge.
How about “Score with a Bull using Force cause it’s
the One?” Fine with me.
since Matzen is nere to get students miormed,
interested and involved, I cannot poke fun at him.
Besides, I would get shot down.
It is interesting to note, however, the masses of
students who have rallied behind this tall guy. We
all want ASUN to help us now!
But really, is a silly tall guy with no platform
going to do it? Just maybe. If elected, he will be liv
ing proof that students don’t really know that
ASUN has limits (I’ve only seen and frequented
Chik-fil-A in Wyoming) and Matzen isn't going to
do anything better than anyone else running.
Still, it seems students truly believe he will
change the face of ASUN forever simply if he
makes fun of the system in strange and unusual
ways. No one underestimated Beetlejuice’s power
as a free-lance death consultant, so no one should
underestimate Matzen’s turn at bat
NUForce, lead by Angela Clements, is the head
of the controversy in this election. I don't think
anyone would question her motives if she wasn’t a
woman with integrity, but rather, say, a male Texas
rancher who had a drinking problem but got over
it and found God. Hence becoming the darling of
the nation and the stereotypical American. If she
were this guy, then yeah, she has a chance.
She’s hit a few bumps along the road to glory,
and yes, she should take full responsibility for
these mishaps and everyone involved in relation
to NUForce, but there are some things people
can't control. Why couldn’t John D. and Company
just fine her $100 more dollars for continuing on
with the election when everyone in print wants
her to quit?
She is my friend, and I applaud her efforts. I
don’t think she should throw in the towel. Besides,
if she doesn't get elected, she can always gather up
all of the towels thrown in the past years and have
a nice towel-cleaning business.
She's not the first candidate to have problems,
but she is one of the few who can get through
them and have one hell of a platform and very
sound rhetoric.
I would like to say that I admire each one of
these individuals for their integrity and time com
mitment. May you all trudge through slander and
fines to arrive at the day of ASUN presidential rap
ture and may the best man or woman win.
Just be careful until then. John D. and
Company is over there, behind the chair....
Get the lead out, tell us what you think...
dailyneb.com
There is no
place like
Nebraska
Recently, the
Nebraska
Chamber of
Commerce asked
metowriteavisi
iuis guiue lor me
state.
It seems they
wanted a “young,
hip” outlook on
die state. I haven't
heard back from them yet on whether
they liked it or not, but I thought I’d give
everyone a sneak preview of it
So here goes:
Omaha: We’U start with the
Comhusker state’s largest city. I was bom
and raised in Omaha, and it is true that its
residents feel superior to the rest of the
state. This feeling is not unjustified,
though, when you look at the cultural
advantages Omaha possesses. For
instance, you can view the cinematic
masterpiece “Dude, Where’s My Car?” at
several of the local art houses.
There are more restaurants per capi
ta in Omaha than any other city in die
United States. Start your culinary journey
at one of Omaha’s hidden gems: Bronco’s,
'fry a Bronco burger, but have a defibrilla
tor ready! I wouldn't recommend the
french fries, as I have heard several
unpleasant stories about how and where
their fry baskets have been washed.
If that's not your style of food, and
you don’t mind ignoring the Board of
Health, try one of several local Mexican
style restaurants called Thco Bell
Many wonder why Omaha is the
home to so many restaurants. It’s simple
- when it comes to entertainment,
Omaha is simply not interested in any
thing more than going out to eat Unless
there’s great live music, which is often,
thanks to the large amount of karaoke
bars in die area.
la) n ne i anyone say you nave 10 go to
Kansas City or Denver for the best con
certs. For instance, the giant REO
Speedwagon/Styx tour hit Omaha last
year, and everyone is still trying to catch
their breath.
Now, this isn't for sure, and you didn't
hear it from me, but word is that Flock of
Seagulls, with Nelson opening up, may
be coming to Omaha this year!
Millard: Just to the west of Omaha, is
the town of Millard. You may hear it
called a suburb, but as an Omaha native,
let me make this clear: Millard is not
Omaha. It is an entirely different place.
I have never met a person from
Millard that is remotely close to being
“normal.” In fact, I have never met a per
son from Millard that was not “severely
dysfunctional.”
Hie capitol is the Oak View Mall, and
if you ever have the misfortune of finding
yourself in Millard, it is probably because
you heard that this was the nice mall. It
may be the newest, but shopping there is
anything but an enjoyable experience.
It is no wonder that Boys Town is also
located in Millard, for early on it was
believed that troubled youths from
around the world would be scared
straight by having to live amongst
Millardians.
Lincoln: Lincoln is Nebraska’s capital
and my current home. While in Lincoln,
check out the National Monument to
Academic Misappropriations, otherwise
known as Memorial Stadium, home of
the Comhusker football team.
It is said too many people here make
football the most important thing in their
lives. This is untrue; too many people
here make professional wrestling the
most important thing in their lives.
First-time visitors to Lincoln always
ask, “Hey, what’s that giant penis with the
person standing on it?” Don't be embar
rassed; it’s a common question. That is a
life-sized model of the penis of “Lincoln
Nebraska,” the mythical founder of the
state, made famous in local folklore sto
ries. It is said George Washington sent
Lincoln Nebraska here on an exploration
mission, and he used his giant penis to
wipe out all “them pesky Indians.” He
claimed the land for the U.S., and years
later, the Capitol building was erected in
the town named in his honor.
Kearney: Residents of Kearney are a
sensitive group, so watch your mouth
while in town. They take offense at being
labeled "small-town hicks.”
vvmic m ivecuuey, yuu wiu suuu mm
out that is completely untrue. Residents
of Kearney are not smaU-town hicks;
they’re drunken small-town hicks.
Kearney is home to the University of
Nebraska at Kearney, or UNK, and as we
all know, you can't spell drunk without U
N-K. That’s funny because you really
cant
Kearney has seen a boom in tourism
lately because of die thousands of people
going down 1-80 wondering who in die
hell would be proud to live in a town
whose idea of a cultural experience is a
horrific-looking arch put over the inter
state. The answer is the same type of per
son that rides with more than one gun
rack and a bumper sticker reading
“Charieton Heston is my presidenL”
Lookforthe rest of my guide-includ
ing some hilarious anecdotes about
Beaver Crossing, Nebraska-this spring.