\ H
ZM/vNebraskan
Since 1901
Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Jake Glazeski
Managing Editor Bradley Davis
Cutting corners
Athletic department woes
may be just the beginning
it s just a $zbu,uuu aencit, not a Dig aeai to
the Nebraska athletic department, which has
a budget closer to a multinational corporation
than UNL’s political science department.
And Athletic Director Bill Byrne and Co. are
taking care of the shortfall, tightening belts a
notch, trimming a little fat around the edges
in what will be a successful attempt to erase
the red ink.
But the quarter-million dollar bounced
check is emblematic of a problem that could
easily spiral out of control if Eric Crouch’s spi
rals (or, in a better example, his option pitch
es) aren’t crisp enough to send the
Cornhuskers to victory Saturday after
Saturday.
Simply put, the athletic department has
continued to spend more and more money,
banking on the fact that the football team will
make larger and larger profits, filling the
always growing athletic department coffers.
This is fine. Unless the cash cow starts
squirting sour milk.
Then, the department is left with millions
and millions of dollars invested in new state
of-the-art facilities for other sports that can
not possibly hope to recoup the money spent
on them. It is left with state-of-the-art tech
nology, which, if it is to stay fancy, must be
continually maintained and improved.
It is left with a football team that will still
have a large budget (which it
should), secondary sports like
But theres basketball, volleyball and base
no denying ball that are relatively healthy as
the fact well, and little else. No swim
that, at ming. No gymnastics.
some point Which, depending on your
sooner point of view, is either a travesty
rathpr than or Just fine- We appreciate these
later the smaller sports both for their
. / . success and personality, and
atnieuc both enjoy a cult following on
department campus;
will reach a But there’s no denying the
crossroads. fact that, at some point sooner
-rather than later, the athletic
department will reach a cross
roads.
There’s little wiggle room on the revenue
side - the football boosters have to be nearly
tapped out, as Byrne has successfully spear
headed drive after drive to get the state’s afflu
ent to open their wallets.
And it’s very likely that the football team
will begin to make less cash at some point, as
it's hard to duplicate the success of 1993-1999.
In those seven years the team went 81-8, gar
nered huge national attention (and licensing
dollars) with three national championships
and played in a major bowl game (with a large
purse) six times.
Top that, 21st Century Huskers. If Frank
Solicit and NU don’t, the ambitious spending
of the '90s will have to be curtailed, possibly
dramatically. And since the athletic depart
ment and the state are basically defined by
football, it's doubtful that they would see any
of these cuts.
So it’s not much of a crossroads, after all.
Faced with the decision, Byrne will bail on
programs like swimming and gymnastics.
This won’t be a good thing - it also won’t be a
terrible thing.
It’ll just be the way it is because the
Nebraska athletic department has outspent
itself.
Editorial Board
Sarah Baker, Jeff Bloom, Bradley Davis, Jake Glazeski,
Matthew Hansen, Samuel McKewon, Kimberly Sweet
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Unsigned edttorials are the opinions of the Spring 2001 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily
reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the
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solely the opinion of its artist The Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan; pot
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^ 1H£ POPULARITY OP ME RARAQKg CAtR\& oY£R fo THIS Y&R’S ASUN fl£6Wg£,.
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NealObermeyer/DN
Winter wunder-land
As I slip-slided my way to
class on my trusty bike, 100
people fell on their butts
from the ice, and that's not
counting car wreckage.
As I heard folks bitch left
and right about the snow for
the last time this long winter, 1 ^mu 1-1
something snapped inside Karen
of me. I would be the first BfOWn
person to not bitch about
the snow. Eureka! I've found
happiness.
Now, I plan to spread happiness like the vene
real disease it was founded upon.
My first plan is to inform (or shall I say remind)
people that it's winter, it's February, and we live in
Nebraska. I feel for you and your sore butt, but in
order to achieve happiness, one must first accept
these icy streets for what they are - icy streets.
Oh, how North Dakota holds it sides when it
laughs at our weakness.
Winter is my favorite season, but for some rea
son, I feel concretely alone in this acceptance. It is
ingrained in our heads that winter is a stain upon
humanity. Specifically, Nebraskan humanity.
Albeit the stain is ostensibly clear and perfect
at first, it miraculously transforms into murky win
ter crud in the space of a couple of hours - at which
point we rue the day that the Lord hath made.
Let me embark upon that notion for a moment
The Lord hath made the day. The Lord hath made
the day snowy. Therefore, the Lord shall be yelled
at. Somehow the anger is directed at snow
removers - not God - and certainly not themselves.
As people clutch their heads at the snowy sight
and ask “Why, why, why?” I humbly reply, “It’s win
ter, duh.”
Now I’m no eavesdropper (the pay is terrible),
but I have stumbled upon a plethora of conversa
tions about snow removal.
Folks, snow removal is not some untouchable
entity that is an automatic human right; it is a com
plex amalgam of people, snow shovels, tractor
plows and sand/salt.
When I hear phrases like, “That sidewalk is so
icy. Somebody doesn’t know how to do their job,”
or “I had a cow because that snow plow would not
get out of my way, and I arrived to work 1.006 min
utes late,” I cry.
The worst insult to snow removers has got to
be, “What do they pay those people for?”
If you haven’t figured it out by now, not only do
I love winter, but I work for it. I remove snow on
East Campus, and for those of you who think
everything is done easily in an hour with tractors,
come talk to me.
As for the pay ... getting to work with Jeff,
Jerome, Mark, Renee, Floyd and, of course, my
main man Rich (to name a few) is pay enough.
Heck, I’m going to tell the
’ fersity tomorrow that I’ll
rk for free.
I just went
crazy. ^
I’m back.
Let’s do an exercise.
Instead of blaming snow workers for NOT
doing their job, why not blame God for making it
snow? I’ll let you sit on that one awhile as I sit
around not doing my job but making snow angels
and little snow people that will later be destroyed
by God's own sunlight.
Oh, it’s a vicious cycle.
To put it lightly, snow removers are people
much like Soylent Green is people! We don’t want
to be slandered every day when God spreads his
poo all over the land.
We are viciously snapped out of sleep at 3 or 4
a.m. - depending on the dump God takes - only to
zombie-drive to work. Some of us are students
with other jobs; I never get to bed before 1:30 a.m.
(doing homework, of course), so my day is thrown
askew.
Sometimes I bitch of no sleep, but for the most
part, I have this job because I love the snow and the
people I work with, plain and simple.
Sure, I’ve lost a few fingers to hypothermia, but
UNL is always there to compensate with a free
breakfast at Selleck Hall... that is, if I don’t have
class during the time we go to eat If I lose a finger
and miss breakfast, then I get a free ride in Interim
Chancellor Harvey Perlman's car. Wooh! Slow
down!
No one s perfect (except for Parker Posie), so
even I have complaints: handicap ramps and bike
racks.
There may not be a lot of us bikers in the winter,
but even one is enough to deserve a spot Same, of
course, goes for disabled personnel.
However, many times we shovel when it’s still
snowing. If we start at 4 or 5 a.m. to clear the walks,
it oftentimes starts snowing again at 7 a.m. We go
back to the same walk we just did and shovel again.
Check the handicap ramp. Go back to the bus shel
ter and clean what the snow plow left. Go to the
emergency light and clear out two feet of snow
(like anyone in an emergency wouldn’t jump over a
pile of snow to hit the button).
I can see them now, standing by the emergency
light: "No, no. I guess I’m going to get mugged,
somebody didn’t do their job.” If that logic were a
boat, it would sink.
Now it’s time for class and it's still snowing.
Well, I guess if people didn’t want to risk falling
every step of the way from their home, they should
just skip class. That logic boat is infallible.
To sum this up with what fellow worker (and,
incidentally, the toughest woman on earth) Emily
LeVine says, “We’ll do our job the best we can, but
if someone in high heels or boots falls, it’s their
fault.”
God and snow removers
i
| JakeGiUespie/DN C3
Give us your opinion
Ietters@dailyneb.com
Temptation
now, now
and forever
I hit the wall
last week, and I
hit it hard.
M y
Valentine's Day
was more pathet
ic than usual. I ^W
awoke Thursday -
morning, nude TOfiy
and in the fetal Bock
position, clutch
ing “my Valentine": a bottle of Johnnie
Walken
The week ended with me stranded
on a country road in the bitter cold, many
miles from home. Cars of old ladies drove
by pointing and laughing at me.
I was in the middle of the Heartland,
supposedly home of die nicest people in
this country, and not one person stopped
to offer assistance. I felt like the biggest
fool Man had created a way to travel long
distances in a short amount of time, with
just one responsibility on the part of the
human, and I had failed at that simple
task.
I ran out of gas.
What was the cause of this nightmare
of a week? Looking back, I can only
blame one thing: Instead of a new
“Temptation Island” last week, Fax aired
a Barbara Streisand concert What a dap
in the face.
For millions across the country,
Wednesday night had turned into the
high point of the week. At my house,
watching “Temptation Island” has
become a social event A group of friends
come over to watch each titillating new
episode.
We looked on in disgust as Mandy
cheated on Billy with Johnny. We hung on
the edge of our seats to see how Billy, the
most popular of the males, would
respond when he saw videotape of the
infidelity.
For our generation, asking where
someone was when they found out
Ytossie and Taheed had a kid is like asking
someone older where they were when
man landed on the moon.
Wednesday night is the thrilling con
clusion of die couples' time on the island.
I know, I know, there's actually two more
episodes, but Fox added on the last
episode when the series became a hit
The new final episode is all of the couples
watching parts of the show together after
they’ve been off the island.
For those of you who haven't
watched an episode, I'll break it down for
you. Four couples, all unmarried, are
brought to a tropical island, put on sepa
rate parts of the island and tested with
sexy singles on various dates. Fox throws
in numerous mind games to make it
interesting to the home viewer.
Why anyone would want to go on
“Temptation Island” is beyond me. The
couples say they wanted to use their time
on die show as a test of their love. I can’t
believe they were surprised when it
turned into their own personal hell But
that’s what makes it great TV
Good news, fans, Fox is planning a
sequel called “Temptation Mountain.” I
hope Fox reads this because I’m going to
tell them how they can make
“Temptation Mountain" bigger than
“Survivor,” the Holy Grail of television
ratings. “Temptation Island” was good -
good enough that I faithfully watched
each episode.
But there were no likeable couples.
There wasn’t a couple that viewers were
really hoping would stay together. If they
can get just one couple that the country is
rooting for and put them in peril every
week (milking it for all it's worth along die
wav), it will be huge.
The bad news is that not everyone
likes our favorite program. In fact, it’s
made a lot of people mad.
So mad, in fact, that there is a nation
al effort to get it off the air for good. The
Parents Television Council, a group of
650,000 members, is working vigorously
to end our fun. A mass letter, titled “PTC
Members’ Action Alert!” has been sent
across the country encouraging recipi
ents to “register our disgust with local Fox
TV stations and their sponsors.”
Their cause has gotten national
media attention, and many corporations
have dropped their sponsorship of the
show.
Of course, this kind of action is noth
ing new. Conneticut Senator Joe
Liebermann (you remember him, the VP
candidate from the "liberal” party) is try
ing to get the show “Jackass” taken off die
air because some kid hurt himself trying
to do one of the dangerous stunts.
When I was a kid and I saw sexual,
dangerous or violent things on televi
sion, it didn’t have a significant impact on
me. You know why? I was brought up by
responsible parents. Instead of focusing
all the attention on TV shows, why don’t
these groups target parents and the
impact their actions have on kids?
I understand that we need a scape
goat, but the prospect of "Temptation
Island” being the end of the series is
almost too much for me to bear.
So please, contactyour local Fox affil
iate and tell them to continue on with
“Temptation Island.”
