Audience suffers more than 'Valentine's' victims
BY BILLY SMUCK
I don't know what Cupid was
aiming to accomplish in the lat
est holiday horror flick
"Valentine," but whatever it was,
he certainly missed his mark.
Unless of course director
Jamie Blank’s objective was to
get audience members to forfeit
$7 for a movie they don’t stick
around long enough to finish
watching.
This thought occurred to me
as I watched people leave to go
to 'the bathroom, never to
return. I left as well, though I
didn’t have to go. I just wanted to
get out of there, but I did return
in order to give the film a fair
review.
"Valentine" adopts a worn
down, burned-out horror blue
print similar to "Halloween"
with subtle changes like a differ
ent holiday and an increased
body count, leaving nothing for
die sake of suspense.
That’s because the killer is
identified in the first five min
utes. At a sixth grade Valentine’s
Day dance, a young nerd named
Valentine
t—-C±±&±)
Jeremy Melton is ridiculed by
the girls he asked to dance.
He is later beaten up by
some of his fellow classmates,
stripped down and doused with
Kool-Aid in front of everybody,^
humiliation he has not since for
gotten. Kids can be so mean.
We learn later that Melton
was sent to reform school, then
juvenile hall and finally a mental
hospital, tormented by rejection
and humiliation. (Poor kid, his
entire life is identified by a sixth
grade dance.)
Fast forward 13 years, and
these same five girls start receiv
ing Valentine cards with cute lit
tle poems saying “Roses are red,
violets are blue. They’ll need
dental records to identify you,"
signed JM.
Trying not to make the
killer’s identity completely obvi
ous, another character, Jason
McAllister, is later introduced as
a killer suspect
After fair warning, JM dress
es up in his black trench coat
and cupid mask (scary), killing
his victims with various selec
tions from his collection of tools
and weapons. Kind of makes the
young ladies out there think
twice about saying no when
someone asks them to dance.
I guess he’s still upset at
these five yuppie, self-righteous
bimbos, thereby creating a sym
pathy factor for Jeremy.
Kate (Marley Shelton) is the
exception. She was the most lik
able while her recovering alco
holic boyfriend Adam attempt
ed to be, but couldn't even con
vince his girlfriend that he had
good intentions.
Adam, played by David
Boreanaz (star of TV’s “Angel”) is
later suspected to be the killer.
There's even a bit of a joke
thrown in there when Kate says,
“OK, he's not an angel, but he’s
no murderer.”
That along with some limp
sexual humor didn’t make the
movie any more attractive or
engaging. Even with the hot
female cast, there wasn't even
any complimentary sexual con
tent to salvage this sunken film.
“Valentine"
was really more
laughable than
scary. Whenever
someone is
killed, no one
seems to notice
or care. Um ...
weren’t there
more characters
at the beginning
of this movie?
Back when
horror flicks
attempted to
keep audiences
on the edge of
their seats and
gasping in fright,
“Valentine”
makes no
attempt at doing that, instead
focusing solely on dead bodies.
The more the better. In fact, the
killing spree gets so out of hand
that, I can't say for sure, but I
believe some characters are
killed twice in this film.
In the end, filmmakers
attempted to be clever by creat
ing an element of surprise that
really made no sense and fool
ishly makes the movie worse
than it already is.
It's sad that some movies are
made only to draw in an audi
ence and not deliver the goods.
"Valentine” is a prime example
of that kind of low-grade, poorly
constructed movie merely for
cheap thrills. Even Starship’s
prices aren't cheap enough. I
can’t even recommend this
Courtesy Photo
“Valentine” for people I don’t
like.
Starring David Boreanaz,
Denise Richards, Marley
Shelton, Jessica Capshaw and
Jessica Cauffiel. Running lime
99 minutes, rated R for strong
horror violence, some sexuality
and language. Showing at the
Plaza 4.
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Friday, February 16,2001
7:30pm
Saturday, February 17,2001
2:00pm (matinee) 7:30pm
Lied Center for Performing Arts
Lincoln, Nebraska
rickets: (402) 472-4747 or (800) 432-3231
Box Office: 11:00am - 5:30pm M-F
www.liedcenter.org
'Chocolat'is charming as a guilty pleasure
■Juliette Binoche brightens
up a town by tempting its
people with sweet concoctions.
BY CHRIS JACOBS
La tranquility. Tranquillity.
Sometimes it's hard to find
when you're the oddball of the
community. Sometimes you
need a tangible element to free
you from society's institutions.
Sometimes everyone needs a lit
tle chocolate.
Swedish director Lasse
Hallstrdm’s new film “Chocolat”
presents the story of a young
mother (Juliette Binoche) whose
desire to bring freedom, in the
form of the individual and com
munity, infiltrates a small French
town constituted by the words of
politicians and the "Word of
God" preached by the clergy.
When the young mother,
Vianne, establishes a chocolate
shop during Lent, the citizens
don't know how to react to the
shop’s enticing element of pleas
ure. The local church has con
demned the new business
because ofVianne’s rejection of
the Catholic Church.
But slowly the rejects of soci
ety and those who can't resist
Chocolat
'
their “desires” come crawiing out
of the woodwork, curious of the
chocolate’s potential of changing
their lives.
Her chocolate is portrayed as
the bearer of freedom and the
regeneration of lost time.
Vianne’s landlord, played by
Judy Dench (“Shakespeare in
Love” and “The World is Not
Enough"), turns to Vianne to revi
talize her life despite her dimin
ishing health due to diabetes. She
has been distanced from her
daughter and grandchild
because of her refusal to receive
care at an elderly hospital that
she terms die “mortuary.”
Vianne brightens her outlook
with a special chocolate concoc
tion and unites her with her
grandson, who is constantly
looking to distance himself from
his mother’s, or basically the
Catholic Church’s, stem and dis
criminating guidelines of the
time, 1959.
Vianne and her all-healing
chocolates spare the life of an
abused woman (Lena Olin),
whose husband has absolutely
no restraint over his irrational
actions. She brings families
together and rejuvenates the lost
sex lives of married couples. In
fact, Vianne’s chocolates save just
about everyone but herself.
In the beginning of the film,
Binoche's character is unable to
bring peace to her own life. She
runs from town to town and
fights against injustice but
always folds when the time
comes to truly put her cards on
die table.
This leads to the weakest ele
ment of the film, a romance
between Vianne and Roux
(Johnny Depp).
The relationship develops
when Roux, a riverboat wander
er, joins forces with Vianne to
fight against the established
beliefs of the past and rejoice in
the nondestructive elements of
die present, like chocolate, music
and celebration.
But the movie becomes a lit
tie sappy when Depp’s character
becomes emotionally and physi
cally involved with Vianne. His
role, however, adds to Vianne’s
crusade against the image of her
chocolate, decency and pleasure.
Roux, along with the rest of
Vianne’s friends, shows her that
the true meaning of life is settling
down and enjoying what stands
before her.
Roux represents the perfect
image of a man who supports the
liberation of others, but he also
shows Vianne that the fight for
freedom must end somewhere
when acceptance is finally
achieved. Everyone must even
tually settle down.
Vianne’s enemy, the fighter
for established traditions and
inequality, is personified by the
Comte de Reynaud (Alfred
Molina). As mayor, he influences
the town and the church to
peacefully revolt against Vianne’s
business, hoping to eventually
drive her and her “foreign” beliefs
out of the town.
The Comte de Reynaud's role
in the film represents the prob
lem created when a person uses
power to influence individual
decisions. With absolute power
in the church, Molina’s character
convinces the town that the
pleasure created by chocolate is
evil, and his words effectively
coerce them.
The Comte de Reynaud is the
classic example of a man who
abuses his power. But he is pure,
following all of the Church’s ritu
als without giving in to his own
desires, and therefore innocent
His exclusive actions warn the
audience that if not careful, even
the most dedicated man can be
guilty of injustice when following
long-established traditions. One
must always examine the tradi
tions he or she follows; then ded
ication to these traditions is nec
essary to maintain a good society.
The moral of the story has
been presented in millions of
films: Don’t judge others until
you’ve given them a read chance.
But “Chocolat” offers the theme
in a fresh, intelligent light and
forces its audience to rediscover
the traditions it follows.
Starring Juliette Binoche,
Judy Dench, Johnny Depp, Lena
Olin and Alfred Molina. Rated
PG-13 for adult language and
situations. Showing at the Plaza
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