Page 4 Daily Nebraskan Tuesday, January 16,2001
/M/iNebraskan
Since 1901
| Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Jake Glazeski
Managing Editor Bradley Davis
By the students
Student vote on regent's
board not a logical idea
A recent Legislature proposal to allow the
students to have a voice on the NU Board of
Regents might sound like the type of idea that
puts more equality in the system of decision
making.
But look again, and uncovered is an idea
that won’t work - not logistically and possibly
not philosophically.
The new idea, offered by Sen. Adrian Smith,
provides, on theory, that one of four University
of Nebraska elected student presidents - UNL,
UNK, UNO and UNMC - will be appointed by
the governor to actually have a voice on the
Board of Regents, which plays a large role in
determining the direction of university policy.
The resolution is shaky at best. While the
theory says that one of four student body pres
idents would be selected, it doesn’t actually say
so in the resolution. Thus, a governor could
appoint almost anyone he or
she might think is best for the
position - regardless of
whether or not they represent
any students.
For example, since the theo
ry is that the vote will rotate
from student body president to
Our ultimate
vote is
made, quite
simply, by
choosing to
attend the
university or a different campus president
choosing not the next year, what would hap
pen if a certain radical candi
date wins the student election,
and th^n the governor is forced
to chojbse between that presi
dent or a high achiever of some
sort? Just who might be cho
sen? This is worth thinking
about.
Beyond that, there should
be question as to whether any
student whatsoever should
have a voice that makes policy
- for the four university system.
How does a representative of
UNK speak for UNO? Very carefully? Do the
four campuses confer, then come up with a
community decision? What’s the procedure
here?
Our ultimate vote is made, quite simply, by
choosing to attend the university or choosing
not to attend the university. We vote, essential
ly, with our pocketbooks. And it’s up to us to
make the most of our education, regardless if
one has a vote in the NU Board of Regents or if
to attend the
university.
We vote,
essentially,
with our
pocketbooks.
And itis up
to us to
make the
most of our
education...
they don’t.
We balk at considering that one student,
who may have won a strange and poorly
attended election the year before, would be
speaking for any of us. Certainly, if such a poli
cy were ever to be in place, the student body
president, if that were the person chosen,
would need more scrutiny and would need to
take on real issues instead of simply taking on
the same line of getting together to make a
world better.
The office could further be politicized as
well. On issues such as fetal tissue research, it's
questionable whether a student could ade
quately campaign on such an issue. It’s almost
an insult to have a student making decisions
over their teachers.
Maybe a professor would be the more perti
nent consideration. Professors are the people
who know the most about the university sys
tem, more than the elected regents now and
certainly more than any student.
Regardless of who fills that position, the cur
rent proposal falls short in more ways than one.
Editorial Board
Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Jake Glazeski,
Matthew Hansen, Samuel McKewon, Kimberly Sweet
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Daily Nebraskan Friday, January 12.2001
PageS
Strong evidence for black holes found
Large, insatiable, soulless entities consume all around them...
Neaubomeyer/DN
Rollerskates and hot boys
You’re, like, never too old
to be a kid.
Why, I still suck my finger
(the thumb is for babies),
and I still have my mom kiss
my toes to ward off night
mares. Aim, aunougn my
girlfriend frowns upon these
acts, threatening to leave me
’cause I'm “stuck in the anal
Karen
Brown
phase” of Freud’s legacy,
describe me how you will, I
will accept no other title than immature.
Last week, in lieu of going to the bar, getting
hammered and puking on campus, I chose to party
in old style for my birthday. So, as I donned my
Strawberry Shortcake nightgown, I let the party
begin.
I invited all 48 of my closest girlfriends and told
them to bring their Caboodles full of make-up for
the all-nighter.
To start out the night, we went to the pre
pubescent TestosteroneZone, I mean SkateZone
and partied like it was 1988. We all immediately fell
for the boys in the Stone Cold Steve Austin shirts.
For my birthday treat, I requested Cindy
Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” The DJ's jaw
dropped as he tried to remember who she was,
and, after he couldn’t find my childhood idol on
any compact disc (I had an eight-track on hand),
he played Elton John as a substitute. Though not
quite as radical as Cindy, I had to give kudos to the
guy for pleasing the “older” crowd.
The orders I gave to my girls at the SkateZone
were to giggle and check out boys. However, since
all the boys were all 12 and under, I had to re-eval
uate my mission.
After seconds of struggling with morality and
what-not, I decided to ask this boy out. After all,
Woody Allen is my hero. I didn’t know his name,
but someone called him Jeremy so I called him
mine.
I couldn’t ask him out because, it’s like, you
don’t ask boys out yourself - duh - but Seth could
do it for me. While I was in line at the snack bar
waiting for Jeremy’s response and my
nachos, I honestly found a mysterious note lying
on the ground.
This note was the final puzzle piece to fill my
retro-birthday fun. I was officially back in the
grade now. The note was to Jeremy from Maggie.
The back-stabbing bitch!
I confided in this little girl I met at the water
fountain about my love for Jeremy. Now she so cal
lously wrote him a note, not caring one wink about
my thoughts.
The note read:
“Hey! Guess what! I get to have a party on
Sunday, and you can come if you want I’m not sure
yet, but I will call you latef after I talk with Mary
about it. The PPL who R invited are you, Brenda,
Makenzie, Camey, Aubrey and maybe Beth. Don’t
tell anyone about it ’cause not everyone is invited
don’t even tell the PPL who R invited, OK? 626 Bye.”
What the heckfire does 626 mean? Some code
for “I’m easy,” no doubt. I guess I'm not down with
the lingo, but I can beat her up - I’m bigger. It’s like,
Jeremy would never date her anyway; I’m much
more dope than she’ll ever be. «
It's true, I don’t even know who Jeremy is, but
he’s got to be the equivalent to Joey McIntyre from
the New Kids on the Block. He's so cute, and I don’t
care if people think he’s a homosexual (Jeremy, not
Joey).
Needless to say, Seth came back with a rejec
tion from Jeremy. I cried a lot and tore up his pic
ture, which I stole after I beat up Maggie, and
decided to move on with my life. It hurts so much
when you get burned, but I knew there was a pur
pose for his hostility. Fabio was waiting for me any
way.
The rest of the evening I asked out 10 more boys
(all rejections) and decided to call it a night.
Besides, Olivia was bored, repeatedly stating, “This
place would really liven up with a bar.”
Despite my initial heartbreak, the night was
totally boss, and I knew it was time to go home and
freeze bras with the girls.
You could say I’m kind of a brat, so it was only
appropriate to prank call people on my Pink Party
Phone. After that became tiresome when the guy
on the other end threatened to give me an Indian
bum if he ever caught me, it was time to take milk
shots while playing Girl Talk.
k \
as mv oar-iree Dirtn
day continued well
into the wee hours
of the morn
and we all
set strict
guide
lines on
what
the
exact
differ
ences
^ between
first, second
n and third base
were, it was
A time to curl up
and tell ghost
^ stories.
I told this
scary story about
a college student
who forgets to have
fun because she’s
getting two
degrees and har
no money to
pay bills.
Everyone
freaked and
screamed
so loud,
but when
they
calmed
down,
none of
us forgot
that we
can still do
the things
that make
us giggle,
not vomit.
Vision for
a mediocre
university
When my !
frienl told me
The Omaha
Woild-Herald
was doing an in
depth series
about our school
titled “UNL:
L,onironting
Mediocrity,” I
couldn’t have
been more shocked.
Sure, we were losing some seniors
and Dominic Raiola, but didn’t they see
the Alamo Bowl? We beat Northwestern
66- J' We have to be one of the best uni
versities in the country.
Besides, over break I checked my
grades on the UNL Web site and there
was a story with the headline, “UNL
Recognized as Leader in Undergraduate
Education "Well, who am I to believe?
I decided to read the whole World
Herald series before writing about it.
Although I couldn't understand some erf
the big words, I think I got the gist of it
Basically, in the late 1800s and early
1900s, Nebraska was a great university.
During Wo rid War I, our state legislature
started an investigation to root out sus
pected German sympathizers
(Nebraskans being so intolerant it actual
ly hurt the state -1 don’t believe it). Many
top professors in the country at that time
were German-educated, and the investi
gation produced no evidence of wrong
doing, but this hurt die national reputa
tion of the university.
In the '20s, an agricultural depression
hit, and the brilliant legislature decided
the university needed to be shut down
because the state could not afford it We
survived, but funds were severely cut
During the Great Depression, many
universities used FDR’s New Deal money
to rebuild their campuses. But the parti
san Republican Board of Regents would
not accept the money from the
Democratic administration (Nebraskans
being so partisan that it actually hurt the
state-I don’t believe it).
After that it only got worse, and here
we stand. You can check out the entire
series at omaha.com, but I'll sum it up for
you: We suck... bad. And we have sucked
for awhile, just no one here knew it
But their rating of suckiness is really
only in comparison to all other universi
ties similar to us - so don’t worry, we’re
still better than Metro. One of our major
problems has been that the best
Nebraska students go somewhere else,
and we can't recruit out-of -state folks
worth a damn.
Whenever a native Nebraskan stu
dent meets another student who is not
from here, we always ask, “Why did you
come to Nebraska?" And we’re honestly
curious. Especially if they are from a
"cool” state like California or Colorado -
basically any state except Wyoming,
South Dakota or Iowa. We understand
why they come here.
Whenever a native Nebraskan stu
dent meets another student at the uni
versity, we ask why their first and second
choices didn’t work out It’s always about
money-those not from here were given
an offer they couldn’t refuse, and those
from here couldn’t afford anywhere else.
I wanted to go to Arizona State or
Kansas. I came here instead, and I’ve
been pleasantly surprised. But I am in the
journalism school, which the series
points out as a highlight in the university
system.
I would like to take this opportunity
to personally thank our dean, Will
Norton. I would like to thank him on
behalf of everyone in the j-school for
showing us the importance of priorities.
For instance, my major is broadcast
ing, and I will take the most amount of
hours in broadcasting classes. And
although I’m getting a Bachelor's Degree
in Journalism, I will only take 9 hours of
Journalism classes.
But thanks to senor Norton, I had to
take 16 hours of Spanish classes. They say
that’s necessary so students can try to
achieve fluency. Miraculously, I passed
all 16 hours, but I still don’t understand 90
percent of the Taco Bell menu.
So I have to take 16 hours in a subject
completely unrelated to my major, and
college, andl won’t get a minor in it or ful
fill it as a concentration. I was wondering
if it really is mediocrity I have to confront
from the administration or stupidity? But
I’m not bitter!
NU President L Dennis Smith (when
you use your initial first, you sound more
educated) believes a tuition raise is nec
essary. That is a terrible idea because the
price is the best part about this universi
ty Everyone knows it ain’t the greatest,
but that’s why we’re here. I can only afford
third tier. There’s always going to be a
school bringing up the rear, but at least
we have a powerhouse athletic program!
I don’t want to sit here and rip my
school, so I’ll give some advice. Shut
down UNO (University of No
Opportunity) and UNK (not even worthy
of an insulting acronym), and make UNL
a bigger mediocre university.
It would mean more tuition money,
and isn’t one big confrontation with
mediocrity better than three?
