Opinion
ZM/vNebraskan
Since 1901
Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Jake Glazeski
Managing Editor Bradley Davis
Call to action
Series should inspire
objective self-examination
The University of Nebraska -Lincoln was
exposed this week as a “mediocre” institution of
higher learning.
That should come as no surprise: For months
we've been barraged with data and studies that
indicate UNL ranks only marginally in the realm
of academia
Now, in a series of articles and accompanying
analyses by the Omaha World-Herald, it’s con
firmed once again - though the Cornhuskers
may rule on the football field, our degrees are not
worth as much on the academic gridiron.
Anyone interested in the university’s develop
ment should pay attention to The World-Herald’s
series. It identifies deeply rooted problems that
have stifled the university’s growth.
Nebraskans, proud of their state and universi
ty, can sometimes be defensive of institutions
held dear. Now is not the time for blind alle
■mhhmkv giances, though.
While UNL The series shows that for UNt
prides itself t0 improve, it needs to be exam
on offering ined with a removed eye - void of
tuition that the divisiveness that can pit aca
is demic programs against each
affordable, °ther.
it’s become The series also highlighted
clear that several issues it said were key to
its bargain- UNLs academic reputation:
basement ■ Compared to its 10 peer
fees are institutions, UNL was last among
simply too its peers in terms of tuition sup
/ow to Port - creating what The World
support a Herald said was a $26 million
quality annual shortfall.
school. While UNL prides itself <?n
—---offering affordable tuition, it’s
become clear that its fees are simply too low to
support a quality school.
The NU Board of Regents, which has recently
suggested a tuition hike may be coming, must
discuss the issue frankly with all Nebraskans.
The regents should set a new rate that, while
remaining fair to students, is more in line with
major research universities.
■ UNLs agricultural endeavors need refocus
ing, given the dramatic shift from family farming
to corporate farming.
While ag college enrollment and ag food pro
duction have dropped since 1980, UNL’s ag
budget continues to rise. This, while UNL con
tinues to offer its agricultural research and know
how at no cost - a practice the university said is
insisted upon by the state’s farmers, but one that
was abandoned by other leading ag schools.
While the Institute of Agriculture and Natural
Resources should continue working to save the
family farm, it must also recognize the reality -
and allocate its resources accordingly-that cor
porate farming is the new wave of agriculture.
The farming companies should pay for the
research from which they benefit
■ Because UNL has limited resources -
regardless of whether administrators raise
tuition or research revenue increases - certain
top programs must be emphasized when allo
cating those resources.
While a major research university must main
tain a comprehensive academic offering, some
stand-out areas could be strengthened with an
injection of money or faculty brain power. That’s
why the prioritization process that will identify
UNLfe strongest program is so important
The prioritization, along with all discussions
about UNL’s future, must be approached with
the same dispassionate, realistic tone: Only then
can this university truly achieve greatness.
Editorial Board
Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Jake Glazeski, Matthew
Hansen, Samuel McKewon, Kimberly Sweet
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NealObermeyer/DN
Backyard Gypsy's Forecast
Greetings, my fellow
scoundrels.
It seems we are all gath
ered together to harass each
other for yet another semes
ter. I know you are just as
excited as I am. To aid you in
your personal growth and self
actualization quest, I have
taken the painstaking trouble
to peer into my crystal ball ■
Yasmin
McEwen
ana iook into ail or your mis
erable, lousy futures. I accept big bills only-nothing
less than a fifty, you cheapskates.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 22): You lucky duck. Put
down your guitar and get off that street comer imme
diately! You've parried the gaze of the gods long
enough. Whether you are cold or bold, whether you
are going places or going nowhere, no matter. Believe
me, the mighty gods have searched far and wide for a
better sign to take us all into the new year, but guess
what? They failed. Therefore, you are die Brand New
Year. Work it baby!
Aquarius (Jan. 23-Feb. 22): You have no clue what
you are talking about. You are the guy that stands
around at the construction site telling people, “Nah,
don't do that, why’d ya have to go and do that? Put it
back.” And, “Here's what you need to do ....” You
exude an annoying whine every time you open your
mouth. People actually hide when they hear you
coming. I have no advice for you because you would
n’t listen anyway.
Pisces (Feb. 23-March 22): Your code word this
semester is motivation. Avoid the coffee house at all
costs. Those people will still be there ten years from
now and so will you, if you don’t get your butt in gear.
You love to make day-long quips about the travesties
of your day. These can go on for hours, but, while
everyone will always listen to the ultimate charmer,
you will never get a damn thing done with your
mouth in full gear. Dy Scotch tape if you must.
Aries (March 23-April 22): You are a self
absorbed high voltage achiever whose lackadaisical
cover may fool fair- weather friends, but those closest
to you know that deep down, therein lies a "brooder.”
My advice to you: Rent “Risky Business.” Don some
shades. Dance in your skivvies and realize that,
“Sometimes you just have to say, ‘What the f**V”
Taurus (April 23- May 22): Heartless wench and
self- absorbed jerk are upgraded terms foryour char
acter. So you’ve got opinions? Well,
don’t we all. What’s really
funny is that A
you think the rest of the world wants to hear what you
have to say. I would be willing to bet that George W.
Bush is a Taurus. Why so? Because he insists on talk
ing about things he knows nothing about. I would
take the bull by the horns, but that might only con
fuse you.
Gemini (May 23- June 22): “Wasn’t Me,” is your
theme song, and for you the grass is always greener
on the other side, because you are the type who will
go over there to find out. Commitment dodges you
like the plague and it takes everything you’ve got to
show up on time.
Cancer (June 23-July 22): Can you say codepen
dent? That’s right, you thrive off others’ darkest days.
Their agony defines your purpose: nursemaid. Give
up the cause. It’s time to start living your own life! Did
I mention that my favorite food is crab? I love to
pound those shells to smithereens with my mallet.
BAM! BAM! The meat is so tender inside. Maybe it's
time you weren't so tender anymore.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You are the worst of the
Prima Donnas. Get over yourself already. Almost all
Leo’s suffer from extreme chronic halitosis. What
does that mean, exactly? It mean£ this: You emit a
baneful odor from your mouth whenever you speak.
It is only because people like you soWich that they
refrain from telling you.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You filthy malingerer! All
you do is lie around your dorm room and analyze the
patterns of the trains coming through the yard in the
pre-dawn hours. You win already, you are an analyti
cal god. So stop hi-jacking the lecture hour by sitting
in the back of the class and shouting out, “Why?” or
“What do you mean by that?” every other ten min
utes. Soon your professors will put a bounty on your
head.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): People like to tell you all
of their problems because you sit there and listen
patiently, and all the while, a smug little gleam in
your eye glows bright Inside you are thinking, "Dear
God, thank you for making me so balanced and per
fect I hope I am never like this person that I am lis
tening to right now.” Let’s be honest, sometimes you
can be a bit full of yourself. It’s okay, though, you are
still loved in Belgium.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22): You are not paranoid.
They really are afteryou. The only way to survive is to
hightail it to Mexico and hole yourself up in some
cheap hotel with only your
laptop to join you. You will
spend the rest of your
life on the Internet
ordering room serv
ice by night and
£
washing dishes
incognito at
the very same
cheap hotel by
day. Your only
hope is to
hook up with
members of a
r
L
drug cartel
and win
their loyal
ty. These
are the only
people who
can protect
you. Good
luck, buddy.
Sagittarius
J (Nov. 23-Dec.
“I 22): You dirty
VI scalawag! One
day you’re a
philosophy
major, the
next, you’ve
taken up an
acting career.
You fritter away
any and all
funds that ever
come your way
with a kid-in-a
candy-store glee,
and then you won
der where it all went.
Flibbertigibbet
you're not, so stop act
ing like one and grow
up!
Thanks for taking a
turn on the carnival ride
...with me.
From Beach
Boys to
blackouts
A time
comes in every
crisis where a
critical ethical
decision must be
made.
When a
criminal choos
es reform - or Jake
more crime. Glazeski
When an addict
chooses sobriety - or more drugs.
When the government chooses to help
-or to hurt.
That time is quickly coming for the
people of California.
I suppose that California was, once
upon a time, a land of opportunity and
unlimited dreams. As it is now, it’s
more of a festering wound, where dan
gerously evil ideas take root and
attempt to infect the nation.
Oh, I could go on and on. Whole
reading, whole math, bilingual educa
tion, city-level restrictions on private
businesses.... Granted, California did
not and does not have the exclusive
claim to these liberally-minded exper
iments, but it is in California where
these ideas took root and gained a
somewhat viable status in the public
eye.
The latest example is in the realm
of power. Real power. Electricity.
“The government... has issued a
proclamation asking the people to be
patient and put up with hardships just
a little longer.”
In my mind, California is a mythi
cal place occupying the space delin
eated by the Beach Boys and shots of
the Hollywood sign. I know there is
more, much more, to the large and var
ied state than these simple stereo
types, but that does not stop the irony
of recent power outages there.
It’s been a problem all over the
West Coast, actually, where tempera
tures have recently dipped and
demands for power have increased
beyond available supply. Editorial
writers encouraged readers ta throw
another blanket on the bed, or to wear
another sweater - I'm surprised they
didn’t suggest warm fires and fur coats
carved from the hide of the Woolly
Mammoth. Turn the thermostat down
to 60,55,50 degrees.... The cold, after
all, is just an illusion.
It’s worse, though, in California.
The Southern California Edison
Corporation, among other power
companies, recently has stated that it
will go bankrupt if it is not allowed to
charge more than the rate it is current
ly charging its customers. The rates
were frozen in 1996.
Bankruptcy. A future blacker than
California’s homes.
“I want you to see the exact picture
of what it is that you propose to enter
before you decide whether anything
can justify your entering it."
Oddly enough, the whole debacle
is being celebrated as the failure of
“deregulation.” I’m not certain how an
industry can be really “deregulated”
when price controls are in place and
government officials - called regula
tors - still hold the whips over the
industry.
“Nothing exists but contradictions.”
But what really stings are the solu
tions proposed. One of the first solu
tions involved a nation-wide rate cap
on power. That solution was thrown
clean out. I suppose sane people still
work in the government, after all.
Not to say that the solutions enact
ed have credibility or even moral recti
tude. Bill Richardson, the reigning
Secretary of Energy, has commanded
that other utilities sell SCECorp. ener
gy to make up for its shortages.
The utilities involved aren't sure
they’ll be paid.
“Confidential... Emergency...
Priority... Essential need certified by
office of Top Co-ordinator...”
It's an interesting scene, as a state
scurries like a rat to escape the conse
quences of its own actions - as if
causality could be div
Disneyland of a state could keep this up,
where the very pipelines which feed their
ignorant gluttony are sewn at the seams
with makeshift bonds of cardboard and
chewed leaves. Its citizens seem largely
oblivious that an event horizon which
bends and sucks in logic encircles and
engulfs them - and it’s getting bigger.
“The inhabitants of New York had
never had to be aware of the weather....
Now, facing the gusts of snow that came
sweeping down the narrow streets, people
felt in dim terror that they were the tem
porary intruders and that the wind had
the right-of-way."
These words are from Ayn Rand’s
Atlas Shrugged. Rand was a crackpot, by
some accounts. But her words are prov
ing horrifically prophetic.
And the day will come, when we
must choose either to follow this descent
into a renewed Dark Age or to right our
selves and find the future.
I shouldn’t say that. That day is
today.
You’d wonder
