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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 8, 2001)
ZM/yNebraskan Since 1901 Editor Sarah Baker Opinion Page Editor Samuel McKewon Managing Editor Bradley Davis Good old boys Bereuter's experience beats Hyde's influence As the last seconds of 2000 ticked away, Americans breathed a sigh of relief; the most convoluted election in history had reached an end. But the confusion was just beginning for Congressional leaders who marked the new year by trying to figuring out how to shuffle around the leadership of the House. Because of term limits that were passed in 1995, House leaders were forced to shift around the leaders of many House commit tees, including the House Ways and Means Committee, the Judiciary Committee and the International Relations Committee. The limits cap me time a chairman or chairwoman can serve to six years. The shuffle resulted in disappointment for Rep. Doug Bereuter, who represents mmm Nebraska’s 1st District. In giving The Republican leadership the shot down the plans of chairman- Bereuter, who had his sights ship to set on the chairmanship of the Hyde, the International Relations Republicans Committee, passed up Instead, the spot went to Bereuter, Rep. Henry Hyde, who, as »leader of the Judiciary hrmore Committee, presided over experienced President Clinton’s impeach ment by the House m 1998. aualified to Republicans gave Hyde a fill the Pat on the hack by rewarding position. him the chairmanship of the The committee. Hyde has been on Republicans the committee for years but may have had served an inactive role. also In giving the chairmanship sacrificed to Hyde, the Republicans the chance passed up Bereuter, who is to promote undoubtedly more experi bipartisan- enced and qualified to fill the ship on the position. committee. Bereuter, who gave up oercuier attempts at running for Nebraska’s governor and for operate the the U.S. Senate, is taking the committee news remarkably weU. jn a But we think the committee bipartisan ^1 surely take a hit without fashion. Bereuter at its helm. __ Nebraska's longtime represen tative has become an expert on foreign affairs. He has become well-versed on the issues facing East Asia, which looks to be one of the most important parts of the globe economically and politically in the coming years. The Republicans also may have sacrificed the chance to promote bipartisan relations on the committee. Bereuter expressed his desire to operate the committee in a bipartisan fash ion. Hyde, on the other hand, remains staunch ly loyal to the party that scrambled to find him a leadership position in the first place. We admire Bereuter's efforts to keep his chin up despite the blow to his plans. But we’re disappointed that Nebraska’s own Bereuter won’t be taking control of the committee he’s worked so hard for since 1983. . —!■■■■■—■ — ■■■■!■ Ill ■ I ■ .1 ■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■!!■!! ■ I i Editorial Board Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Josh Funk, Matthew Hansen, Samuel McKewon, Dane Stickney, Kimberly Sweet Letters PoRcy The Daly Nebraskan welcomes briefs, letters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guar antee that puMcation. The Daly Nebraskan retakis the righttoedR or reject any material atfcmRted. Submlted material becomes property ot the Daly Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous autambatana wl not be pubiahed. Thoee who submit letters must identity thomeolvos by name, year In school, major and/or spot? affiteeon, if any. Submt material to: Daly Nebraskan, 20 Nebraska Union, 1400 B St Uncote, NE 6868&044& E mafcletlereOunlinkxunl.edu Ecfltorial PoRcy Unsignad editorials are the opinions of the Fall 2000 Daly Nebraskan. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the University of Nebraeka-Uncoln, its employees, its student body or the Unkrerafly of Nabraaka Board ol Regents. A column is 90iely the opinion of Ns author; a cartoon is solely the opinion of lb artist The Board of Regents acts as pubteher of the Daily Nebraskan; poi cyb set Daly Nebraskan EdRorial Board. The UNL Pubicabons Board, established by the regents, supervisee the production of Ihe paper. According to polcy set by the regents, responsi MtyfortheadRorial content of the newspaper lee solely in the handB of its employees. / SomWHEKg IN UoRSg ../^mUzinss! iou't/£rme^\ (tiijrwviG'BuTTSnouiwraVDR) \pw W*KH1VP#< MoN-m 5/ y y&0, SIHte&MCr r Aomtfine^ wtHfpiwMeswsw^Ai ( fHA^SUffmpflNim\AL.la£/W \jmm.K&«i&>y irkt mve jmia£8> j \/w / <*«> a«w£ /tw RepumioN' y/J ‘r*'5 IT.' /^s 5m£^X 11 -me. HO'i&p ****- \m'K, Hilr-A vsuctc^s poRpffiwno^j IK fir ,~A \ ar cmmctzr} </ li|» -pJ-J NealOtameyer/DN The purple horseshoe scam Books—they were right, all Dan those 'been there, done that’ Leaman college grad sages—college and mmmmmmm—mm reading are one and the same. After my first semester, my mind took a long walk off a short pier. And losing my mind wasn’t free; it cost a good amount of greenbacks, and getting diem wasn’t easy. I tried working, but that involved, well it involved work and who works for their money anymore? Then I tried to embezzle it—I’ll be serving six to 12 in a 'home away from home’ with my cell mate Bubba. (We met at a prison luncheon.) Bubba says he has soft hands like a lady. Easy, Liberace—I'm scared. Next, I thought I could jump in front of oncom ing traffic and sue, the emotional damages alone would cover everything (note to self: parked cars no good and hurt—owww). Then there was stealing candy from a baby but this was more because I was hungry. * Downhearted, I let my mind wander. If Janet Reno and Michael Jackson got married, who would the husband be? Then, there it was, arainbowoffon the horizon, and at its end was surely a leprechaun and the solution to my money woes—his pot of gold. Now, to jump a leprechaun you need three yards of George Clinton’s hair, a pair of boxer briefs, three cups olive oil and an ostrich. At first I failed, plagued with problems of not finding die rainbow’s end and the leprechaun’s abil ity not to exist Downhearted, memories of three Christmases ago, when I tried to make a citizens arrest of Santa Claus for breaking and entering, danced in my head. Suddenly, there he was, the wee man sitting on his wee pot of gold. I gathered myself, hopped on my ostrich, licked die boxer briefs, bit George Clinton and drank the olive oil. I charged, fell off my ostrich and watched the lit de man scamper away, scream ing “you'll never get my lucky charms.” I failed thrice more and finally collapsed at his feet begging for his gold. Bill (that was his name) was a I ( V / \/ family man with six kids and j \JL a kind heart This pot of gdd \ / was all he had, but I explained \ to him the book buy-back \ vs process at UNL, and with a face lit in exclamation at such an ingenious idea, he offered to loan me the gold. When fall rolled around, I went and got the books I had reserved. Gee shucks, I was happy but not as happy as I was when fall stopped rolling around. On the last day of the semester, I strolled into the union bookstore to tie up my loose ends, make like the Stones and roll. The lines were huge, maybe they were giving away free stuff—yeah, free. Ha. When I got to the desk, I dropped my books, ready to collect my gold and head over to Bill’s to pay him back and enjoy a fiQe rib roast he had cooked. But Bill is on the streets now and with no pot of gold; he lost his rainbow license. His wife filed for divorce, and he only gets to see his kids every other Tuesday. As fun as it is to get the part of the golf club between the head and the grip (sarcasm), this was serious. Buy-back had put a lep rechaun out in the bitter cold and stripped him of his family. Metaphorically, not only did they kick his dog, they tied it to the back of a 78 Buick, and drug it down a country road and then untied it and made it pee on itself. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about Bill, poor little man. Actually, I worked for the money to buy those books, only to hear from some monotone university employee that those books were worth less than an eighth of their original value. I could have done bet ter things than gotten ripped off. For instance, hav ing my hand slammed in a car door or hiring one of those towel and cologne butler guys for the bath room on my floor. Instead, I sold my books back low so they could be sold back at the same price I bought them for. Quite the scam. And who’s next, the Easter Bunny? In enough time, the book buy-back system will have every fairy-tale figment of our imagination on the streets. Kris Kringle, the Irix rabbit, Tony the Tiger, Grape Ape—all of them gone, kicked out into the harsh world of the streets. They’ll probably become drug dealers. Boy, Christmas morning will be really interesting when a kilo of crack ends up in my stocking, and it will be so cute to see that adorable Tony the Tiger selling LSD to six year olds. “These stamps are grrreeeaaattt kids.” All this because book buy-back couldn’t refund my pot of gold. I am so upset, I think I’ll go find Yogi the Bear and smoke a bowl. / Ietters@unl.edu: Please write in and tell us what you think. m Death comes for the arch-villains The good die first, And they whose hearts are dry as summer dust Burn to the Socket. Wordsworth, “The Excursion” Last Saturday, with the Senate split evenly 50-50 between Democrats and Republicans, the two parties announced a power-sharing plan, which will give each some influence over which bills are forwarded by com mittees to the full Senate. Therefore, much of the talk and speculation on Capitol Hill and in the media is over the ailing health of the Senate's two oldest Republican mem bers: Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms. Since each lives in a state with a Democratic governor, if either one dies, the Democratic Party will have a major ity in the Senate. It has become a verita ble^Deathwatch 2001.” It's about time. Strom Thurmond, a mind-boggling 98 years old, is the longest-serving member of the Senate and probably its most conservative member. He’s been hospitalized several times in the past few months with various ailments and also has memory problems: He recently claimed in an interview that he was only 81 years old. Thurmond gained notoriety almost half a century ago when he led Southern Democrats in four states to withdraw from the Democratic Party and formed the State's Rights “Dixiecrat” ticket Thurmond was the party's presidential nominee, and what bound the group together was their “violent opposition to any measure of social and political equality for African Americans.'' (Hoffman, 1996) In fact, the major reason the group formed was the Democratic Party’s advocacy of military desegregation and civil rights for blacks. In a resolution largely written by Thurmond, the Dixiecrats condemned any efforts to undermine the "racial integrity and purity of the white and negro races alike.” In his fire-and-brimstone acceptance speech, he ranted that “There's not enough troops in the army to force the southern people to break down segregation and admit the Negro race into our theaters, into our swim ming pools, into our homes, and into our churches.” Of course, Thurmond lost the elec tion and the civil rights movement suc ceeded. Although he has toned down the racist language in the 46 years since he was first elected to the Senate, he has still been a tireless opponent of any leg islation that would help minority groups. As Milton said, “Never can true reconcilement grow / Where wounds of deadly hate have pierc'd so deep.” Jesse Helms, Republican Senator from North Carolina, also is in poor health and was recently hospitalized with pneumonia. A member of the Senate since 1972, Helms chairs the influential Foreign Relations Committee. oKe inurraona, neims aiso nas a long history of racist, sexist and homo phobic actions (most famously, when he addressed Clinton’s nominee for assistant secretary of housing as a "damned lesbian”). Helms is also an ardent isolationist and opponent of the United Nations. Using his position as Chair of the Foreign Relations Committee, he has been able to block important legisla tion relating to international trade and human rights. For example, last Monday President Clinton signed a treaty to create the International Criminal Court, which would try war crimes suspects. Even though 138 countries have signed it (including Russia, Cambodia and Israel), Helms has vowed to prevent it from being rat ified. He stated that “protecting America’s fighting men and women from this international kangaroo court is one of my highest priorities in the new Congress.” (Washington -Times, 1/01/01) The Helms and Thurmond “Deathwatch" is not just about who wiL' control the Senate; with a majority of 60 needed to break a filibuster, their deaths will probably not have a dramat ic effect. More important is what their deaths will signify about our country’s past and future. Helms and Thurmond are the prod ucts of a time when racism and hatred of other minority groups was wide spread and accepted. For many Americans, their deaths will be the symbolic end of one of the darkest peri ods in our country’s history. Although Homer warns us that “It is not right to gloat over the dead,” few tears will be shed over their passing.