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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 2000)
Opinion A Da//( Nebraskan Since 1901 Editor Sarah Baker Opinion Page Editor Samuel McKewon Managing Editor Bradley Davis Save the week Our suggestions to improve Homecoming We’re tired of complaining. See, it labels us as “the complainers," the friendly Daily Nebraskan whine entourage that craps upon the efforts of those campus leaders who have earnestly attempted to make the University of Nebraska-Lincoln a more enter taining place. Among our targets: NU Directions, ASUN and University Program Council. We know what they think: We’re standing on the backs of their dreams. We wield our power like the mighty Marine who vanquishes the fire monster in the commercial. The few. The proud. The ostensibly cruel. So, for Halloween, a treat! This being home coming week, we turn our critics’ hats around, flip the switch (as Sylvester Stallone would say In “Over the Top") and work for the side of good. Today, we’re dressing up as Glenda, the Good UNL Witch, offering suggestions on how to spice up a rather dull homecoming week, which will hit its peak Saturday with a rather dull Nebraska football game against Kansas. You knew it was homecoming week, yes? The bevy of fliers and advertising promotions tipped you off, we're sure. The turnout for Sunday’s Fun Run bulged into the thousands. The Husker Howl skits will leave you in stitches very, very soon. Enough with the facetious jabs! Kicking it up a notch is what this is about. Without further adieu, the five suggestions: Erect a giant, temporary hill: Our crack research shows that the University of Kansas gets lots of mileage out of Mount Oread, that hill in the middle of campus that serves as a big walking route for the Jayhawks come gameday. For a snippet of dough, UNL can haul in a couple truckloads of dirt and plop it on Buck Beltzer Field, thereby allowing the Comhuskers to trot down its slippery slope toward their even tual victory. Fogies and students alike would greatly enjoy such an endeavor. Panhandle for a wad of cash: We must get a better knowledge of where our bread’s buttered on this campus - our alumni. Thus, to hit up UNL alum Warren Buffet for $1 million to put toward Homecoming doesn’t strike us as a shab bvmove. It could even be named after him: The Warren Buffet HomecomingWeek!, presented by Berkshire Hathaway. Only a generous wad of cash can turn it around, folks. Tradition takes time. Or money. Erect giant mountain rocket for firing on Saturday: Underwritten by the U.S. Department of Defense. The old standbys, Tom Osborne and Johnny Rodgers: He’s always good for a couple of grand worth of people. Have Johnny the Jet bring a cou ple of Heisman friends along. But not their Heisman Trophy. Payola: Often used in radio and television, the homecoming committee pays you, the student, to participate. Five ideas. Five plans of action. Five ways to delve right into tradition and get our hands dirty. Entirely absurd? Yes. Such is die dire straights of our homecoming scene at UNL. It will take noth ing short of a few creative geniuses to turn it around. Have we tried raiding the advertising department of this university? Or is it engaged in promising endeavors? Actually, well, fund raising is an option. One of those door-to-door campaigns through all the residence halls might be nice, just in case Homecoming might want to expand beyond the only people who keep it alive at all: the greek community. And a couple of cheap standbys ... well, at least they work. And imagine when Osborne's in the House next year. Maybe he’ll bring Newt Gingrich back for a stump speech or two. Think about it. Then pitch it to Warren. Editorial Board Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Josh Funk, Matthew Hansen, Samuel McKewon, Dane Stickney, Kimberly Sweet Letters Policy The Daily Nebraskan welcomes briefs, letters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guar antee their pubication. The Daly Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Submitted material becomes property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous submissions wi not be published. Those who submit letters must Identify themselves by name, year in school, major anchor group affikatron, if any. Submit material to: Daffy Nebraskan, 20 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St Lincoln, NE 68588-0448. E maii: lettarsOurinfo.uni.edu. Editorial Policy Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the Fall 2000 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of Its author a cartoon is eoleiyihe opinion of its artist The Board of Regents acts as pubfisher of the Daily Nebraskan: poli cy te set by the Daffy Nebraskan EdKorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, established by the regents, supervises the production of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsi b*y tor the edtorial content of the newspaper lies solely In the hands of its employees. KPTeR U-HRN1N6' THAT fgrtAie SWOKtHAlt- FISH Mg KTMiTeP TP/iVIL0S WfH Longer SWORP AN5? flflEWSIN&'SlWe MAlgS felH/Mcme* HAU<V£&JC(CT)A)£$. NealObermeyer/DN You can't get us,Guyla Mills Dear Guyla Mills (right wing Christian initiator of Initiative 416): On the great Halloween of '84, when I was 6 and my brother Cris was 8, he pissed all over the witch costume I was wearing. That was a hard thing to deal with. Despite the fact that I did get more candy because Nebraskans feel sympathy Karen _Brown for a urine-soaked witch, it still hurt my pride when I was a wee little girl. But I got him back after I told the whole town that he incessantly peed his bed and had to have a beeper hooked to his undies that alerted the "situ ation.” Now I can look back and laugh about him ruin ing my costume. ......“Twr-- ..T... And despite our conflict in dealing with 416 and its blatant attempt to sever all ties between homosexuals and people with blind eyes and closed minds, we will always love each other because this, too, shall pass. Homosexual Nebraskans will finally under stand the state they live in, while Nebraskans who support 416 will feel good about what they've done because they listened to someone like you, Guyla - someone who has had a rough life, being lost in your own identity. It’s been years since Cris has been mean to me, as he only kicks me and pulls my hair at "special” occasions (i.e. Thanksgiving dinner and funerals). But the worst pain he inflicts isn’t physical. It is something that you have created with your 416 amendment to the constitution that would perma nently ban same-sex marriages in Nebraska. I've always said my brother and I have nothing in common except the ms-",»■ ■■ -a fact that we both like (women. He tries to argue, but he can’t. As he scratches his Republican, corpo rate, well-dressed, quiet face I look at him and can’t believe we came from the same litter. I’m scroungy, I never look nice, I swear, cheat, lie and objectify bunny rab bits. But we both like women. That’s our , bond, and until 416 popped up, he and I have always been able to talk in a civil man ner about loving women. When he told me he signed the petition, I broke down. When \ he told me he would f probably vote yes on 416,1 could no longer speak to him on the phone. I asked him why he would support such a bill. j Shawn BaHarin/DN j “Well, I think j homosexuality is \ morally wrong.” I didn't know what to wk say, and he » didn’t either W when I asked him how on earth this is affecting his mar riage to his wife. Dead silence was the answer, and it was the right one. I didn’t tell him that to ensure marriage between man and a women, the divorce rate (57 percent) needs to be worked on — not homosexual rights. As far as Guyla, no amount of hate that you want to stir up between relatives, friends, even enemies by embittering them further can make me forget that I love my brother and all of the people he reflects. I hate to use the labels, but he seems to be one of the close-minded Christians that make us LOUD-MOUTH gays have to fight back and against these rules that restrict our lives every day. If you want us queers to keep to ourselves, then quit likening us to pedophiles (heterosexual men 95 percent of the time), bestiality lovers (lonely Alabama natives), rapists (unsexed men whom God made) and pixophiliacs (you know, having sex with pixies). If any other “philia” comes to mind, insert yours here:_. You, Guyla, can’t make me forget the care Cris has had for me in the past. At a high school basket ball game in a different town when the weather was precarious, Cris (a mighty senior) walked up and down the aisle of the bus and asked if his little sis ter made it on okay, not caring that he could get ridiculed for his concern about his geeky little sis ter's well-being. moral right and wrong goes, I'm going to be an aunt in January, and I don't want Cris to teach him or her that who I am with is morally wrong. But I’d rather have him teach their child that, not a state constitution. As you’ve said, Guyla, this is strictly a Nebraska issue. So I will forget the fact that you accepted $600,000 in support money from Mormons in Utah, as well as funds from other "foreigners” because I do think you believe it's a Nebraska issue so you won’t forget who’s paying your wages. Some Nebraskans will vote "yes” on this amendment, and we can't stop them. But we have a week left to try to educate the citizens of our state that unless they downright want to banish queers from the face of the earth, they shouldn’t vote in favor of 416. I just want you to know that you’ve made peo ple think about homosexuals in the wrong light (whiny, sub-human and unworthy of “straight rights”) and that as far as my brother and I are con cerned, we will work through this. I will love him, and he will love me no matter what happens. Good luck to you. I think you’ll need it. No matter the election, no options Young voters, a choice is upon us. It is our responsibility - our duty-to par ticipate. When you step into the voung Doom mis ■ u year, you will be Bocfc presented with ^***^^^» the options of the same old spoiled, rich, establishment candidates who are car bon copies of one another, and you will have to decide what to do. I’m talking about, of course, the elec tion for homecoming king. Now I under stand that politics is not something that’s taken lightly in this state. The political arena is where people go when they tire of doing the important work in the state, like coaching the NU football team. But this year things were going to be different This year our king was going to be someone with whom everyone would identify. Someone who not only didn’t know where the ASUN office was but didn’t know what ASUN was. Someone who not only skipped classes but skipped semesters. Someone who’s done com munity service because a judge said so. Me. I figured that, given the stunning election of the A-Team last spring, the campus was finally ready to make the most celebrated person at the university an “average student.” Things looked promising. The first thing one must do when applying to become homecoming king is pick up an application. Simple enough. I filled out the application but was missing one necessary thing before I turned it in. They require you to submit a letter of rec ommendation. l really wanted to make an impres sion, so I went to Regent Robert Allen. The letter was coming along great until he found out I spoke out on behalf of our university's radio station, KRNU. He refused to write my letter because of my “attention and interest in helping disc jockeys.” hi a letter I obtained that was sent to the homecoming committee, he said: "I have a radio at work. I love it dearly. But if you get too much of that, it hurts your school, and I think Tony’s done that” Down, but not out, I moved on and got the letter from LiT Red. The committee narrows the appli cants to semifinalists who are inter viewed. After that is the finals, when the students vote for the king. I fully expected an interview, and if I could get to die finals, the king tide would be mine. So it was much to my surprise when I did not even get an interview. I contacted someone from the com mittee, ready to throw a tirade, and he said: “Bock... let me see. Oh yes, you're not a full-time student, so you can’t be king. Sorry.” The asinine foreign-lan guage requirement for the College of Journalism and Mass Communications had screwed me again! Damn. You see, in order for me to graduate, I have to take 16 hours of Spanish. I won't get a minor or anything, although I will have taken more credit hours in Spanish than in any other subject but broadcast ing (which is my major). And because the chance of a gay cou ple getting married in Nebraska is better than the chance of me passing all 16 hours here at UNL, I decided to take some Spanish at Southeast Community College this semester. In fact, I’m taking six hours there, which left me with nine here, and as we know, that is not full time. We have to place the kind of impor tance on this election that we place on the presidential one. Think of me as a sexier Ralph Nader. But I can’t even get on the ballot So what do we do now? You have two choices as I see it You can vote for the same old pretty-boy can didates and look on in disgust Saturday as a phony struts across Tom Osborne Field, queen on his arm, and takes credit for accomplishments that are meaning less. Or you can meet me and the thou sands of other pissed-off students at the voting booth Wednesday and start riot ing. That’s right, we need to start rioting, and I would say to start looting, too - if ya’ feel like it It seems to me that Nebraska has a soft reputation. I have been at this uni versity four years and have not partici pated in, seen or heard one single riot I thought this was college. Our neighbors in Colorado riot every couple years, but when was the last time you even saw a good demonstration at this campus? We haven’t even had a sit in, and I’m getting tired of the apathy. After the riot, we will demand that I be made homecoming king and that next year all students will be eligible to become homecoming king. Let everyone participate, not just the elite. Or you can exercise your anger by not voting. I know many of you will do that simply because there's no real choice. Sound familiar?