T
ODinion
/M/iNebraskan
Since 1901
Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Samuel McKewon
Managing Editor Bradley Davis
Quotes of the Week
“As we roar into a new millennium, full of our
selves and prosperous, we need to stop and
think a little bit. This time, my friends, let's not
blow it.”
Former CIA Director James Woolsey, speak
ing at the E.N. Thompson Forum on World
Issues, on the United States’ precarious posi
tion despite its prosperity
“We thought if two artists could drop their
egos and not have a pissing contest, they could
create a body of art together.”
S. Clay Wilson, on the artist part of “JAM
Portfolio”
“(Oklahoma used to) put the ball in the air
with the wishbone, too, with the pitch. Their
offense (now) is not so much built around the
long ball as much as it is the short pass. It’s not
really that far from wishbone thinking.”
Nebraska Coach Frank Solich in an attempt
to play the typical coaching devil’s advocate on
OU’s passing offense, which bears no resem
blance to the wishbone whatsoever
“The components of this pizza are not deli
cious.”
UNL postdoctorate chemistry major Vadim
Varchavski just telling it like it is about UNL’s
Campus Classic Pizza, which includes Oudaw
Spice
“If being a homosexual disqualifies you from
meeting this criteria, then you should be
crossed off the list. If it would pose potential
problems within the house, then steps must be
taken to avoid it. If I were interviewing a fresh
man for rush, and she openly told me she was a
lesbian, I would not recommend she be asked
back.
“Cry if you want. Life is not fair.”
Daily Nebraskan columnist Julie Narans on
accepting gays and lesbians into fraternities
and sororities
“She’d complemented her eating fixation
with a side of three ODs on horse pills and a cut
ting obsession, scars of which grace her upper
arms. And now she gets 50 grand to counsel me.
Mental instability has its rewards.”
Daily Nebraskan columnist petaluma wat
son on her eating disorder counselor Rose
Marie
“Many girls love to dress up as a flapper and
like the idea of fringe, boas and cigarette hold
ers. They can get really done up and still look
cute. God forbid they look scary on Halloween.”
Ericka Flanders of costume shop Ruby
Begonias speaking on Halloween fads of the
year
“For us the choice was to provide this materi
al or give in to those who say this should not take
place. We certainly weren’t willing to go down
that road.”
L.G. Blanchard, spokesman for the
University of Washington Health Sciences
Center, on the decision to allow UW’s Birth
Defects Research Laboratory to provide UNMC
with fetal tissue now that Timothy Carhart has
severed his contract
“I think (Bush) is fairly moderate himself. The
complicating factor is the religious right within
the Republican Party. I think they wifi hold his
feet to the fire, and he will have to capitulate on
some occasions, if not all.”
John Gruhl, UNL political science professor,
on pressure for GOP presidential nominee
George W. Bush to put the clamp down on abor
tion with Supreme Court nominations
Editorial Board
Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Josh Funk, Matthew Hansen,
Samuel McKewon, Dane Stickney, Kimberly Sweet
Letters Policy
The Daly Nebraskan welcomes briefs, letters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guar
antee their pubication. The Daity Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject any material submitted.
Submitted material becomes property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous
submissions wi not be published. Those who submit letters must identify themselves by name,
year in school, major and/or group affiliation, if any.
Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 20 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St Lincoln, NE 68588-0448. E
mail: lettersOuninfb.unl.edu.
Editorial Policy
Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the Fall 2000 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily
reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the
Urvversrty of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of its author a cartoon is
solely the opinion of its artist The Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan; poli
cy is set by the Daly Nebraskan Edftorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, established by the
regents, supervises the production of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsi
bly for the editorial content of the newspaper bes solely in the hands of its employees
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Letters to the editor
Not responsible
It seems that the recent increase in exposure of
the University Program Council has created many
misconceptions about what the group has or has
n't done on campus
Many of these were highlighted in Karen
Brown's recent opinion column “Bring in the
Clowns, UPC.”
First of all, Ms. Brown states, “... I actually feel
quite sorry for.. Marlene Beyke... who tried to
bring nonfunny, ex-Saturday Night Live guy Jay
Mohr to our budding campus this week.”
This statement indicates the author’s lack of
knowledge on the proceedings of UPC, and in par
ticular, the event, which would have brought Jay
Mohr to campus.
Marlene Beyke is the director of development
for ASUN. Neither she nor ASUN played even the
slightest role in Jay Mohr’s performance.
Secondly, Karen’s article implies that UPC was
responsible for Tom Green’s previous homecom
ing appearance. Contrary to popular belief, UPC
had nothing to do with last year’s “Tailgate on the
Turf.” ASUN can take full credit.
Finally, Karen says, "Now the UPC is losing
money on the big man, David Spade.” This is
absolutely incorrect. David Spade was invited to
UNL by ASUN as a part of homecoming week.
All contract negotiations find fiscal matters are
being handled by ASUN. ASUN came to UPC and
asked for assistance with the programming aspect
of the event. Seizing this opportunity to unite two
of the largest student organizations on campus,
and foreseeing the immense benefits of this coop
eration for students in the future, UPC agreed to
help.
However, UPC is not funding David Spade. It
will not be affected by the success or failure of tick
et sales.
So what can be learned from Karen Brown’s
opinion column? First is a lesson on the reliability
of some DN articles.
Secondly, and most importantly, is that UPC is
an organization that functions on student fees.
That means that you, as students, are paying for
the events that UPC brings to campus. UPC choos
es its events based on the feedback of members
and advisers. If you don’t particularly enjoy the
events it brings to campus, tell someone.
And don’t just complain but suggest something
better.
Courtney Wachal
senior
English/psychology/political science
UPC novelty committee chairwoman
Where's the Crash?
I am highly disappointed with the Daily
Nebraskan’s choice of stories Thursday as Crash,
the simulated drunk driving accident on campus,
was not even mentioned.
When asked why the omission occurred, I was
told that the paper "ran out of room.” I find this
rather interesting considering that a considerable
amount of space was taken up by stories concern
ing a new Internet site and plans to cut Chinese
classes (which was in the DN Wednesday). In fact,
only one story on the front page mentioned some
thing that actually occurred on campus.
Those involved in Crash were trying to send a
real important message about a huge issue on
campus, and our campus newspaper didn’t have
room. The simulated accident happened right in
front of the Nebraska Union with 400 people in
attendance.
So my question is this: What does it take to be
newsworthy? Do we need a real accident to get the
paper’s attention? Many students felt that this
event was important enough that they took time
out of their lives to either participate or watch.
Perhaps you should take the views of your readers
into consideration next time the paper “runs out of
room.”
Jenny Bahle
junior
secondary education
Going back? He will be there
Dan
Leaman
what naa it been that
night? I had been there - that
same pinpointed moment
of existence.
I had walked there before. Stood, sat, breathed.
When she coughed, I had felt that feeling before
run through me and then harden in my gut. It dug
- like someone had taken a large rounded, stubbed
needle and jabbed it into my skin, prodding it
every few minutes to make sure I knew it was there.
My jaw clenched - where was I when I was
there? When had this swept across me? She kept
coughing. Then she got up and left. God, I thought
my insides were going to wrench themselves dry.
Courtesy, common courtesy - that is why she
moved. Quietly, what she did was beautiful. I had
n’t been to church for months.
At halftime of the game, we were inevitably los
ing. We lounged back - sitting in the visitor stands
on our field.
The opposing school performed the halftime
show. Its band stood military-like on the side of the
track in the closing moments of the half. The crowd
stirred - vocally. The end of the third would be a
good time to check out and hit the sand volleyball
courts.
Beyond our attention, the ants had marched
out into the expanse of green. Below our voices was
a whispering low hum of their instruments.
"... Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the
slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take
arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end
them?”
One of the kaleidoscopes twirling around the
band was a man. A man had decided to be a mem
ber of a female flag football team. My friends ate
this - scarfing up all the comedic value they could.
“Homo,” “Queer,” “Fag team.” Slings and
arrows - out of context. I ducked. My gut, middle
abdomen, lit hard and grinded. My teeth, my face -
hardened. They got louder - to a point I could
laugh, all in good fiin. They took it in general - tear
ing homosexuals completely away from human
beings. I stopped laughing. I don’t agree with the
homosexual lifestyle, but that doesn’t disqualify
mem as numans.
He had turned on me - unexpectedly pivoted in
mid-stride, swirling in the air — I really didn’t have
time to talk to the kid.
I didn’t know who he was. We didn’t have class
together; as 'a matter of fact, we had never met
until that moment.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Dan, yours?”
“Zan.”
We walked down Vine Street from 16th to 17th.
I had to slow down to talk to him -1 was in a hurry
- if only they could find a way to squeeze a few
extra hours into the day.
Zan lives off campus. He said if he gets good
grades he can join a fraternity next year. This was
die bulk of the conversation. We exchanged names
of guys in frats we knew. It sounded like there was a
lot riding on his frat dream.
I wonder how many people had sloughed him
off. I wonder how many frat guys he had turned on
- how many of them had kept walking. Me doesn’t
know what to think - me wishes that Zan didn’t put
so much stock in his frat dream. The whole time he
spoke I was being force fed concrete mix.
When we parted ways - the dry substance
mixed with the moisture in my stomach and solid
ified. My abdomen tightened. I couldn’t take it.
She kneeled and stepped back in the pew. My
eyes wandered to the thin figure of Christ on the
Cross.
All the push of conformity - this is where I was
when I was there. The kaleidoscope, Zan, her com
mon courtesy, the church. The world’s trying to
streamline individuality. Zan trying to cram him
self into conformity - my friend’s inability to look
beyond it.
The church - with its Catholic God, its Catholic
way - the way. If God is God, if he is who he says he
is, then I will meet him in my heart.
That is why I hadn’t been there. That is why I
came back.
Say goodbye
to days of
singles bliss
When we
were freshmen
back in 1994 he
bought a
Valentine’s Day
card, cookie and
balloon for a
young lady in his
class. The night
before V-day a
couple of us came
Mark
Zmarzly
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dentally sat on the frosted cookie. So
instead of reading “Happy Valentine’s
Day1.” it read “Ha Va Da.”
After coming to a group consensus
on what to do about the cookie, we told
my friend to eat part of the cookie and
then give it to her as a gag gift. Remember
we were drunk, and he still had the bal
loon and card as the real gift
My friend decided that this sounded
reasonable to him. On his way over to
Abel Residence Hall he tripped over the
railroad tracks, and the balloon went sail
ing away. So now all he has is a half-eaten
cookie and a card. One important bit of
information to mention at this point is
that the card was a bit racy, andmyfriend
had told no one about that fact
So the girl received a half-eaten cook
ie and a very forward card from my friend
for Valentine’s Day. When she asked him
what the hell the gift was all about he
simply told her, "I was high on pot”
My best friend is getting married on
June 9,2001. As his best man, I have cer
tain obligations that I must attend to
before the wedding. I have two big con
cerns at this point First do I get the strip
per and the donkey or just the stripper?
Second, what am I going to say in my
speech to the happy couple?
The stripper thing will work itself out
when we get to Vegas. I’m really only left
with the speech. I’ve been writing and
rewriting this thing in my head since I
was asked to be the best man. How do
you put into words the perfect message
to send the beloved couple into the new
world as man and wife?
As if that isn’t enough of a task, what
I'm really having problems with is how I
feel about this wedding. My best friend is
in love and about to marry the woman of
his dreams. This makes me happy.
But it’s definitely the end of an era.
I’ve slowly been losing single friends to
marriage, and it’s beginning to get to me.
The archaic man inside of me is
screaming for these guys to come and
join me on an alcohol- and drug-induced
journey across the United States in some
sort of Hunter S. Thompson escapade. I
want to be able to wake up in a strange
city dressed like a circus midget and look
over and see my single friends dressed
the same way. Most importantly, I want
to know that they will not have to call
their wives and explain what happened.
Here’s another problem I have with
all of my friends getting married: I’m one
of the only single guys. When I go out
with my married friends, I’m labeled the
bad influence. Their wives apparently
believe that when their husbands go out
with me they lose the ability to think on
their own.
It’s as if I'm some sort of bizarre cult
leader who has power of suggestion over
them. As if they didn’t really want to go to
a strip club or steal the lawn jockey.
Don’t think that I’m some sort of jilted
man who despises women or the idea of
marriage. I’m all for society’s master plan
for me: Meet the right woman, get mar
ried, start a family, grow old.
Why does it have to happen now?
My friends and I are between the ages
of 21 and 26. For the most part, we've
graduated and gone on to start our
careers or to continue our education in
graduate school We have our whole lives
ahead of us. We're young, we still have to
travel the world, move around the coun
try, search for the right career path, have
sex with a supermodel, etc....
Getting married doesn’t necessarily
eliminate all of these items - except the
supermodel thing unless your wife is
bisexual (Please, Lord, I’ve been so very
good lately.) - but marriage does involve
another person in your decision-making.
Any choice that we make means that
we must shut other options out, and I
don’t want to do that right now. It’s a lot
harder to change careers or locations
with a wife and kids than it is to do it
when you’re young and single.
My best friend is the one individual
whom I most identify with in this world.
He has taught me to live and love and has
always been a huge support in my life.
We are friends, fraternity brothers,
even brothers. What we have built
nobody can take away, but I still feel as if
I’m losing a part of that friendship with
his marriage. A friend like this doesn’t
come along all that often.
Am I being selfish about this?
Absolutely. Am I entitled to feel this way?
Absolutely. What will I do on June 9?
I will stand up and tell my friends that
their love is one that is to be envied,
rejoiced and cared for because it only
comes along once in a lifetime. I also will
silently hope that this evil single friend
will still be able to kidnap his old friend
once in a while and end up at a strip club
next to a lawn jockey.
