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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 12, 2000)
Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Samuel McKewon
Managing Editor: Bradley Davis
ASUN can now be thanked
We expect for some things, or people, to sell
The NU Athletic Department- we expect it. All
those free credit card people hawking their free t
shirts next to Broyhill Fountain - it’s a guarantee.
The University Program Council - a given.
But our own comrades in the Association of
Students of the University of Nebraska? Never.
Until now. We guess it’s always the ones you
think you can count on.
With the uncovering of ASUN’s semi-secret
$1,000 deal with the Lincoln Journal Star, we
must say we were a bit dismayed.
And a bit angry.
If you’re one of the uninformed, this year
marks the second year consecutively that ASUN
has sold UNLs student directory information to
the Lincoln Journal Star for its
It was our
sold it for
in excnange ior me mailing
list, ASUN receives $1,000 and
an advertisement in the Jopmal
Star's campus guide, which is
sent out at the beginning of the
semester to the student body.
The guide, its contents and
the coupons inside aren’t what
upset us. The $1,000 doesn’t
even upset us that much.
It’s that those are our names
and addresses that the universi
ty provided ASUN with.
It’s that it’s a list that not all
the Journal Star's competitors
get to use.
And then it’s the idea that it
was our own student govern
ment who took that list and sold it for petty cash.
Petty cash that we have to suffer the conse
It’s going to be our mailboxes - whether we
live in the dorm, in an off campus house or apart
ment or with our parents - that are going to be
filled with even more coupons for “our benefit”
or flyers that we’re supposed to be really interest
ed in reading.
And it’s that we suspect, even with a signed
contract, that the Lincoln Journal Star could have
given that list to just about anyone interested for
a profit of its own.
Certainly, the list is all of the student address
information is available to anyone, through the
student directory. But the organization interest
ed must put its own legwork into compiling the
names and addresses. The directory doesn’t
equal a nice, neat list, and it doesn’t draw a profit,
What it all boils down to is that we don’t like
the idea of our own selling us for their own bene
fit While some may claim the sale of our names
is going to be useful for us, that we’re going to be
the real benefactors, all it looks like to us is a pile
of soiled junkmail.
Signed, sealed and delivered from our very
own student government, ASUN.
Because of an editing error, the column attributed to
Simon Ringsmuth was actually written by Seth Felton. Any
letters to the editor regarding it should include his name.
Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Josh Funk, Matthew Hansen,
Samuel McKewon, Dane Stickney, Kimberly Sweet
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes briefs, letters to the editor and guest columns, but does not guar
antee their publication. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject any material submitted.
Submitted material becomes property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous
submissions will not be published. Those who submit letters must identify themselves by name,
year in school, major and/or group affiliation, if any.
Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 20 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St. Lincoln, NE 68588-0448. E
Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the Fall 2000 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily
reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the
University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of its author; a cartoon is
solely the opinion of its artist. The Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan; poli
cy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, established by the
regents, supervises the production of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsi
bility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of its employees.
AsuN’s New sefflict:
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,.,Sf£ciAL OFFER ffiow
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Letters to the editor
Dear. Emily. Reading. Your. Column. Is. A. Pain. In.
The. Ass. Can. You. Guess. Why. L Think. So?
A question of morals
In her Sept. 8 editorial column, Emily Moran
claims that when she feels like doing something that
goes against the rules of morality that she has learned,
she is free to discard those rules and to decide what is
morally “right for her.”
While such freedom from absolute morality may
seem convenient to her, she must consider the logical
consequence of the argument: If she is free to make
her own moral rules for herself, then others piust be
free to do so for themselves, as well.
Now let us suppose, hypothetically, that I have
decided it is "right for me” to kidnap Miss Moran for
the purpose of torturing and murdering her.
Having rejected the possibility of any absolute
standards of morality, the lady has left herself without
any moral grounds to dissuade me from my inten
tions. Is this really a situation that she is willing to face?
I am a 1994 graduate of the University of Notre
Dame and was among the 91,000 fans that descended
(including around 15,000 of your own Husker fans)
upon the campus of my alma mater for this past
weekend s football game.
The level of sportsmanship demonstrated by your
fans places you and your program above and beyond
most college programs.
In pre-game tailgating festivities, exciting
moments during the contest and the post-game
activities, one word summarizes fans of the University
of Nebraska... class.
Your fans demonstrated respect for Notre Dame
and were true football fans. Before the game, I enjoyed
the fact your fans were appreciating the beauty of our
campus and history.
During the game I carried on many conversations
with various fans; though we were cheering for teams
on the opposite side of the gridiron, the love of college
football was apparent.
These conversations included friendly barbs but
at no point any taunting.
After the game, your fans celebrated but at the
same time congratulated us for a hard-fought effort.
During my years as a Notre Dame fan I saw fans from
the University of Miami-Florida and Florida State
University visit my campus. You are a step above these
other programs and should be proud of that fact.
I wish you luck in the rest of the season and hope
you have a successful run at another national cham
pionship (unless of course you face an 11-1 Notre
Dame for the national championship then my loyal
ties will lie at home).
My hat’s off to you, and I look forward to visiting
Lincoln next year and enjoy the same level of Husker
class watching these two great programs face off once
Wayne J.Goveia .
Notre Dame Alumnus
Scouts just young Goddesses
I’ve kept something a
secret for a long time. It's
caused me to lose my job, my
family, my friends (real and
imaginary) and yes, even what
little respect I had from the
aliens living in my bathroom.
This secret, which I’ve
decided can no longer be
shameful because I'm mature
now (and being blackmailed),
is that I was once a Girl Scout
And I was a damned good one.
I did it for six heartbreaking, strenuous years, and
now my green sash is filled with patched memories.
Memories such as wiping television dust off with a
piece of bread and watching the mildew grow over the
months. Making that backpack out of a pair of jeans
will never leave me.
Girl Scouts have gotten a bad rap for not being as
rigorous and downright “awesome” as the Boy Scouts.
But let me tell you the secret to fun - you had to go to
camp. You had to actually do something to have fun
things happen to you. Idle bodies make no stories.
I went to camp five times and, man, did I rough it.
One time my tent (along with 10 screaming girls) flew
into the lake. I alone, as a lifeguard in the making, saved
them all with a cattail and a tin can. I was one bad-ass
Another time we all raided the fridge, and as a
result we all got food poisoning. Again, I saved the day
as I performed emergency medical “stomach pump
ing” on all the girls. I got the coolest patch for that: It
had a picture of someone vomiting on it.
All of that silliness is negated when I think about
what was truly important on those excursions - female
It was more than just talking with one another; we
got to chant and sing in a circle and give hugs to one
another more times than you could shake a stick at. I
still remember quite a few songs, and on long drives I
blow everyone away with hits such as “The Cannibal
King” and “Hagdalena Magdalena.”
GS camp was also a place where no one would
make fun of the way I looked. I can’t count how many
times I was called ugly in my youth - you know, I was
bedecked in huge glasses, braces that were surround
ed by abnormally huge lips and an afro that suffocated
Naturally curly hair is NOT a blessing when you’re
a child living in a straight-haired world.
So I would keep it short and because of that I would
get called a boy. Junior high sucked so bad I have a per
manent hickey, but at Girl Scout camp, no one cared
what I looked like because no one cared about being
popular. We were sisters.
Why am I talking about this, do you ask?
Well, I just had a female-bonding experience -10
years past my Girl Scout days - that was oddly similar. I
went to Kansas for the Gaea Goddess Gathering, and it
was reminiscent of GS camp because in both scenarios
females go to the wilderness and try to get away from
our patriarchal society.
Girl Scouts are just Goddesses in the making.
Technically this Goddess Gathering was a lot of
topless women in skirts who talked to dirt and smoked
Non-technically, it was a place to roam free of soci
etal structures and to share pain and happiness that
make you float for a week with other women in the
same downtrodden boat. Women are naturally kind
and nurturing, and at Camp Gaea they could nurture
like the dickens!
I learned one thing other than more chants and
songs (this time about the earth, not mottos about
honor). I learned that I don’t like to bond with a lot of
strangers anymore - and that I never did. Bonding
seems cheesy, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Like my friend Shel said, it’s more like church than
a relaxing jaunt in the woods. Rituals are full of orders -
“Sit down. Stand up.” And if you don’t encounter a life
altering epiphany, then it’s disappointingto the leaders
... butyou’re not a lost cause. There’s always next year.
I was sort of roped into touching other women’s
breasts for the closing ceremony, and as crazy as this
may seem, I didn’t want to do it
Don’t get me wrong, bonding isn’t always bad (and
it doesn’t have to exclude males), but women seem to
have to get away from The creatures with penises in
order to release themselves. Women are just as mean to
each other as men are to women.
Women should learn to release themselves in all
surroundings. I wish we were taught to be strong in any
context of life (starting even earlier than Girl Scout age)
rather than have to be strong at a yearly retreat that
caters to the “woman inside.”
Sure, I felt beautiful this weekend, but what’s the
point if you don’t feel beautiful all the time?
You just have to go back to the real world and forget
the fun and acceptance right away.
I think that’s a bunch of crap.
Inis. Is. A.
students: This is
a column about
There is no
The National Examiner is the
queen of trash. Tabloid pages are
smeared with crap and personal ads
full of losers. You can find the best
headlines, articles and function dates.
The core of the National Examiner
is personal ads. One ad reads: Seeks
professional actress, model, cheer
leader. Long detailed letter, photo in
bikini, phone number a plus.
Or follow another ad’s example:
Looks unimportant. Send photo.
There is a woman, Fragmen T. Ed,
former personal ad participant. She
seeks her true love in die tabloid pages.
Her ad read: SWF, Christian, seek
ing man who rides Harleys. Phone, no
There is a man, Englis H. Major,
who reads the ad. He learns to ride a
Harley and calls Fragmen T. Ed one
week later. He is now her husband.
This is beautiful, that Fragmen T.
Ed and Englis H. Major can coexist.
Prisoners are not strangers to
tabloid personals. From National
Examiner, the Sept. 19, 2000, edition:
Soon released into your arms.
There is another: Very, very lonely,
The National Examiner reduces
costs to accommodate a wide clien
tele. Personal ads are available to any
one at a low, low rate of $12 for three
forwarded letters or $1.99 per minute
on the phone.
The National Examiner has no
class or standards for personal ads.
That is what makes its pages so damn
Modeling your own ad after those
printed might seem the logical thing to
do, but it isn't the easiest.
There is competition, from the
National Examiner, Sept. 19, 2000,
which includes: Ex-dancer. Some tat
toos. Disease-free. Fifty-three but looks
39. Non-gymaholic. Light smoker. Likes
short sleeved shirts.
Dedicated to demonology, magic
and the occult. Will treat a lady like a
lady, not like his inferior or slave.
Seeking uninhibited, submissive,
compassionate, easygoing lady, any
size/age. Unabusive, open to sugges
Correctional institute inmate, lone
ly, SWM, loves to travel.
Superb examples. They hit at the
core of personal ads.
I am about to unleash the secrets of
writing personal ads now. Well, not
now. But soon.
Before you begin to write, I must
explain that ads are written in sen
tence fragments. It is the standard
form. “I am attractive” translates to
Sentence fragments are defined as
single words or phrases set off as sen
tences to have a dramatic effect.
There is a writer, Anna Quindlen,
who uses fragments in her book “To
Defray Expenses.” An excerpt found in
“The Writers’ Inc. Writing for College: A
The problem is that when we look
into this abyss, it goes so deep that we
get dizzy and pull back from the edge.
Teenage mothers. Child abuse.
Crowded schools ... and always the
smell of urine in the elevator. I have
never been in a project that hasn’t had
I don’t want to take the time to find
a better excerpt. I would have had to
search the law library. I don’t do card
catalogues. Bad grammar. I know.
Here are the secrets. Now.
The first secret is to lie.
The second secret is to lie about
what you’ve lied about.
These are the secrets.
Think adjectives. Think fragments.
Or count how many more words I need
to complete this column.
So to conclude this collection of
fragments, your personal ad should
follow a standard format: Name, age,
religion, morals, size, preferences.
There is an example, for me, from
me, from the Daily Nebraskan, the
Sept. 12,2000, issue:
Pisces, 21, ice princess.
ISO smart reader.
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