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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 7, 2000)
Page 4 Daily Nebraskan Thursday, September 7,2000
Editor Sarah Baker
Opinion Page Editor Samuel McKewon
Managing Editor Bradley Davis
Though admirable, ASUN
lobby against DOMA wrong
In a sense, the Association of Students at the
University of Nebraska-Iincoln is caught in a no
In one comer is the prevailing notion that our
student government does little more than pro
vide a resume'-padder, a chance for lohn and
lane Go-Getter to practice the meet and greet,
the point and grin, die “ We work for youT speech.
It’s more than that, clearly. They know that.
Students should believe the same. But when
ASUN attempts to juice up its credibility, visibili
ty and activism - the moment where it intends to
make a significant difference in state politics - it
Too much, in our view.
The case in point now regards ASUN’s efforts
to lobby for or against the Defense of Marriage
Amendment that will be on the state ballot in
November. According to ASUN bylaws, the gov
ernment can’t lobby for or against a specific can
Wisely, President loel Schafer has sought clar
ification on this rule, to determine whether this
particular bylaw extends to prohibiting lobby
efforts for or against initiatives.
He presented his arguments to UNLfc Student
Court, which ruled last Thursday but felt it need
ed an extra week to justify its ruling. The ruling is
expected to be made public today.
It can go one or two ways. Either ASUN can go
forward with a bill that lobbies for or against
DOMA, or it must rewrite the bylaw, which is no
certainty, then go forward. Either way, the court
ruling can not and would not address whether
ASUN should lobby one way or another.
And common sense tells us that if ASUN
would ever lobby, it would do so against the bill,
in order to protect the chance of getting domes
tic partner benefits on UNL!s campus for profes
sors and administration.
A lobby for the amendment? Not likely.
We adamantly oppose DOMA, made clear in
the Wednesday editorial, which represents the
voice of the seven people on the editorial board.
But we wonder if a lobby for or against the bill by
ASUN would accurately reflect the constituents
they represent, if it reflects them at all.
We know, representatives have to deal with
subjects their constituents don’t know or don’t
But just how many student senators were
elected on the basis of how they stand on
DOMA? Well, none of them, since it wasn’t put on
the ballot until this summer.
A better question: Should a state issue that
affects a great deal more people than the stu
dents of UNL be the focus of the student govern
ment? No. Aren’t there better fish to fly? Yes.
To ask ASUN to keep out of major political
issues that affect UNL isn’t easy especially con
sidering we’re opposed to DOMA, as well. But the
student insurance plan that allows domestic
partners affects a few at best
Though members of ASUN have taken a laud
able stand against DOMA, perhaps they should
do so on their own time and not drag the entire
student body - a good number of which is prob
ably for the amendment - into the quagmire.
And if ASUN senators actually polled their
constituents and found they were overwhelm
ingly in favor of DOMA- then what? The implied
answer justifies the entire reasoning behind
leaving this issue alone. It’s a no-win thing. We
don’t envy them.
But we ask them to vote down a re-writing of
the bylaws if they are forced to do so. If not, we
urge they take no lobbying action.
Sarah Baker, Bradley Davis, Josh Funk, Matthew Hansen,
Samuel McKewon, Dane Stickney, Kimberly Sweet
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Unsigned editorials we the opinions of the Fan 2000 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily
reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the
University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of its author a cartoon is
solely the opinion of its wtist The Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daity Nebraskan; poli
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Letters to the editor
No debts to pay
I have to argue with Jake Glazeski’s Sept 6 article
on the amount of apathy involved when a person pays
Social Security or bows down because
the government infringes rules on their freedom of
When I look at the 1 /7th Mr. Glazeski says is going
“into the arteries of the failures of society,” I see it as
going into the successes of society. The traditional 70
year-old on Social Security not only deserves a rea
sonable lifestyle, but they also deserve our gratitude.
These are the people who have survived WWII,
Korea and Vietnam. These are the people who
have instituted, innovated and worked for almost all
of the things we have come to depend on in our life
On top of all of these things, does Mr. Glazeski
have the ability to go tell my 84-year-old grandmother
that she doesn’t deserve Medicare or Social Security,
programs her productivity has been invested into?
There are very few prices that I wouldn’t pay to
make sure that I can see my grandmother tomorrow.
The portion of my life that gets sent to keep hers alive
is well worth it
And another thing, please don’t call her a dreg (I
got a spanking for less). From a purely ethical stand
point, Mr. Glazeski argues that the “productive” per
son’s right to EARN is more important than the free
dom to LIVE, which he would so willingly take from
I was not “taught” that I have “an inherent original
debt” I learned that without the investment from the
people in positions of wealth, the unproductive per
son will always remain unproductive. There are many
state and federal programs which our taxes fund.
The only way to determine what these programs
go to is to vote. At least he got one thing right
Greasing money wheels
In response to Jake Glazeski’s attack on American
economic policy. Welfare in the lubricant of the social
Circulation of money is as important to the econ
omy as the circulation of blood is to the body. Thus we
have taxes to prevent hoarding and government
spending to stimulate innovation.
America is not in danger: We will continue to have
welfare, and we will continue to be the strongest econ
omy because of immigration. As long as Americans
are free, they will choose to live the “good life” rather
than break their backs.
Thus we bring in foreigners to do the dirty work
and high-tech labor that requires too many years of
The nightmare of widescope
It’s my mother. She’s call
ing from work.
I say I’m busy even though
I'm watching a rerun of “The
Cosby Show” on cable. When
my mother calls, I am busy.
My mother is beautiful, a
real Nadia. All haunting and
limber like Gumby. I reflect
the heat mommy’s universe sucks in. Boys bounce off
me like grease pops. She sops it up.
She says I should get a cellular phone. I say I
would rather puke whole glazed doughnuts. A 20
second pause follows on her end because, you see,
she’s done this.
So she asks me if there’s anything I need from the
drug store. And I say yes, I need some ointment stuff
that takes care of paper cuts better than the other
stuff. And some contact cleaner for vibrator lubri
Ana, sne says, anything else'
And I say no. Well, I say, maybe some ipecac. We
could share, I say.
I decide I want some 50 percent less fat garden
vegetable crackers so I hang up on her and go to my
shelf and count out 10 and take them back over to the
floor next to the beanbag where I watch the end of
“The Cosby Show” episode where Bill Cosby teaches
his daughters how to mop the kitchen floor and Rudy
ends up riding on the mop head, the television kind,
without any dirt or hair or wayward particles from
Nadia’s banana binge and purge.
I want to tell you how they look at me. You want to
know-how they look at me.
There is no up.and down. Most women, like
Jayme, get the up and down, and like most women,
she misperceives it as some elongated, vertical admi
Mmm.. .no. Cuteys will deny, but up and down is
a game of point/counterpoint, a tallying of a woman’s
additions and subtractions at the end of the ledger.
Look into them, look dutifully hard, and you begin to
notice the thought processes rolling over like shark
eyes, the mechanism of lust setting its hook.
Chunky-wunky: Nice teats and tails, buoyed by
glubs and glubs that assure greasy pimples in their
packed and privates, the result of skin on skin colli
sions, particularly frequent after a peanut butter
triple Ridge. (Were I lesbian, I'd tongue those white
heads all night.)
Fuzzy-wuzzy: Cheap, thin hair. Bad teeth from
throwing up too many times even with whitening
toothpaste. Ethiopian honey ribs. Those little freaky
veins right up by her temple, grossy-gross, the result
of zero skin flack as it stretches over their fuzzy-wuzzy
faces. Tiny hairs that begin to grow and grow, then
curl back over themselves, like moss on a forest floor,
on the arms, to retain the heat.
I am different. No up and down. I am seen in
widescope - a wrap-around movie screen.
I am their butterscotch image.
I start at the mouth and up through the nose.
Then out. Then along their cheek. My hands. My lips.
The one crooked tooth I have from that bike crash as
a kid. My breath. Its smell of.. .nothing.
Up to their eyes and through them. My image
sears the retina, where it stays upside down. It’s easier
that way, because it doesn’t stay there long. It
boomerangs out of their eyes. Along the cheek. Back
through the nose. Down to the mouth. And out
And up. To the ear. Where they hear me. My voice
- this tinny whine I know I make when they enter me
on weekends, the one I can’t replicate on command.
And in. And in is where I live, in semi-perma
nence. A porcelain thing, a doll, the Madonna that is
no better than a whore at 7 a.m. on a Sunday morn
ing. I might as well be an artifact - studied, probed,
poked, marveled. One guy said he wanted to “dese
Cum as graffiti. There's a thought.
I think of exposing a subtraction, or creating one.
I think of walking naked, so they could see my high
thigh glubs. Or maybe I could stick my butt out in a
But artificiality seems like my benchmark, my
very reason for being. And maybe I prefer to be a
elaborate facade, perceived as entirely unattainable.
Then, for a fortunate few conquistadors, a strange
exploratory voyage into the polar ice caps of sexual
“I thought you were busy.”
It’s Nadia, her reflection right next to my own in
the window as she stands in the doorway to my
room, in her home. The heat’s given away to a trick
ling rain outside, and the streets blast a glittering yel
low sheen, from the sun, just ahead or behind the
storm, I cannot tell which.
Her eyes are blacker than usual. Her black hair is
entirely too teased.
“Went a little too crazy with the hair spray today,
huh?” I smile my utter bitch grin. Nadia looks down
and holds her breath.
“I got some magazines at the drug store,” she says
"Joy to the world,” I say.
“I got ‘The New Yorker.’”
“Do you want it?”
I flop backward onto my bed and look back at
Nadia, upside down.
“Just walk away, Renae,” I say. "I won’t followyou
to the bathroom.”
Nadia squeals in frustration and I watch her
reflection swivel from the doorway. I can hear her
stomping into the kitchen to scarf some store-bought
peach cobbler which - boo-hoo! - she won’t find
because I ate it I hear her crack open the fridge,
squeal again, then the best put-down mommy can
“You know, only serial killers act the way you do!”
“But I only want you dead,” I coo back. Softball.
But Nadia, she’s college-educated, so she knows,
like any other college-educated, hauntingly beautiful
woman, how to really twist the knife into a girl’s chest.
“You know," she says, "Why can’t you be more like
T The banquet
hall is lit up with
put on clearance
after the holiday
tables are lined
up in perfect
cloths are draped over the tables topped
with a perfect centerpiece made up of
flowers and the political party symbol.
There is enough red, white and blue
in the room to make even Uncle Sam
sick to his stomach. There are red, white
and blue balloons, streamers, signs from
the local campaigns, etc.
The crowd starts to arrive in enough
time to enjoy a private reception that,
strangely enough, everyone is invited to,
as they just fork out $100 more to attend
The crowd is wearing their usual
event attire. The men in the ever popular
dark blue suit, French blue shirt and yel
low tie. The woman's attire is a little more
varied. Some wear as much red, white
and blue as they possibly can. Some *
wear suits of black or gray. And some
wear a black tight fitting dress with a gold
hoop chain, making you remember hack
to the Madonna phase in your life.
The crowd mingles for a good 30
minutes in the doorway, looking for the
"right” people to talk to. Getting verbal
with the registration table because they
didn’t get seated where they wanted to
be. They pick up their name tag so that
everyone will “conveniently” remember
There are the usual campaign work
ers who are there to attack you with
stickers as soon as you come in the door.
Some politely take the sticker and then
walk away fast before having to actually
put it on because they liked the other
candidate in the primary.
But then they realize that everyone
else has a sticker on so they quickly find
the campaign worker and get another
The crowd slowly starts to enter the
Some feel awkward because they are
seated with people who aren’t “popular.”
The meal is served. Salad first fol
lowed by the main course. Usually chick
en because it’s the cheapest. And it is
always rubber chicken that needs to be
smothered in salt and pepper before you
can get a taste out of it
Then the speakers begin. First it is
the MC who is usually suckered into
talking. They introduce the candidates
who give the same boring speech you
heard at last week's rally.
The crowd claps and hollers at every
mention of the candidates opponent.
They clap at every mention of the parties
name. They clap when the candidate
says he will win.
The dinner is over. The candidate
sticks around to try and create small talk
with everyone even though he doesn’t
care to talk to them. He knows he should
remember their names, but he can’t so
he avoids it
The crowd starts glancing over the
room trying to find the “up and coming”
to talk to. They avoid certain people
because “they worked for so-in-so in the
Wounds dont heal.
People don't forget.
It’s junior high in suits.
They try desperately to find out
where the "in crowd” is going for after
hours. They all go out,-get drunk at a
local bar, dance dirty and hook up.
It’s glamorous. It’s interesting to a
point. It's politics.
Now, take for example an individual
is attending this event because he wants
to get into politics and make a differ
ence. He is a doctor, with a good sized
wallet with ample money to give in
donations to the candidate of his
He attends this very same event and
is seated at a table with “outcasts” who,
of course, are always seated together
because no one else would be caught
dead with them.
This individual sits with these peo
ple and makes a couple friends who
seem to know a lot about politics.
So this group of outcasts asked the
newcomer if he wants to attend an
event next week with them.
The newcomer thinks this is great
news. He has an in group! The following
week when this individual shows up
with this group of "outcasts” to a rally for
the Governor, everyone starts to see that
this person is associated with these
So from this day on, this individual
will never get asked to work on a cam
paign, never get asked to a private party.
And so on.
They are branded for the remainder
of their political career.
He’s done nothing wrong.
He just got seated at the wrong table.
I don't know about you, but it brings
back memories of the eighth grade to
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